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lovemybull
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15-07-2015, 10:51 PM
ooooooops cat on keyboard,,..
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mjfromga
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16-07-2015, 01:41 AM
Originally Posted by Trouble View Post
I must admit my attitude tends to be 'who cares' which is what I thought Myra meant about her family. It's nobodies business but your own.
If I told my family this, they would look at me like I'm stupid and not care any more or less than they would if I didn't tell them. They might even wonder why I wasted all this time just to make a two word statement. They'd quickly be leaving and absolutely nothing would change around here.

I'm NOT necessarily saying that families shouldn't know, I'm merely saying you shouldn't sit them down and verbally tell them as if it's this huge deal. It's your sexuality, it isn't a huge deal unless you make it one. Crying, being dramatic, making a huge announcement... it's not that big of a deal.

Trouble said, I believe, that if her kids had announced this to her for no reason, she may have told them there was no reason to do that. That's my point. Your family should love you exactly the same whether you tell them or not, whether you're gay or straight. Them knowing by means of your announcing it is just unnecessary to me.
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mjfromga
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16-07-2015, 01:42 AM
Originally Posted by Lynn View Post
Well each to their own Myra. I feel if people are proud of their sexual persuasion and want to flaunt it good for them if people are proud of their race good for them if they want to flaunt it I personally do not find it a problem.
You don't find a problem with people flaunting their race? We are different there then, too.
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Lynn
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16-07-2015, 06:26 AM
No I feel if people are proud of who or what they are fair enough if they want to shout about it and how far they and the idea of them being what they are have come they should do so. Just because I wouldn't doesn't mean I shouldn't accept that others may want too.
I would of felt very hurt if my boys had been gay and not felt it a big deal to tell me or felt they couldn't tell me or that I couldn't care less. I would and do love them for who they are and would of felt hurt if they felt that they could of told me something so personal.
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Jackie
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16-07-2015, 07:40 AM
Originally Posted by mjfromga View Post
If

I'm NOT necessarily saying that families shouldn't know, I'm merely saying you shouldn't sit them down and verbally tell them as if it's this huge deal. I
And thats the point you are missing, it may not be a huge deal for one person but it may for someone else.

Everyone is different, you cant put them all under the same umbrella, people deal with may things in life as it effects them.

You cant go saying it should be this or that, that`s fine for you, but for others it may be the complete opposite.
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Nippy
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16-07-2015, 08:43 AM
I'm with Trouble..... who cares, you are who you are.
What winds me up are the gays making such a big deal out of it. Why?
We don't have straight pride meetings. Surely if things have moved on so much and gays want to be treated as everyone else, why all the fuss?
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mjfromga
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16-07-2015, 11:06 AM
Lynn, I don't understand that. You'd be upset if your kids didn't tell you their private business that really isn't any of your business? Can you tell me why you feel it's important for you to know such things? They never told you they were straight, you figured it out by them being with women... the same would go for them being gay. Why do you feel you deserve a verbal announcement?

Rallies where people flaunt "pride" for their race are usually very prejudiced and racist, so I don't stand behind that sort of "pride". Jackie, as soon as I get an explanation that makes any real sense why sexuality is seemingly a huge deal ONLY when gay people are thrown into the mix, I'll take back my words.
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Chris
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16-07-2015, 12:33 PM
The parent/child relationship is a special one.

'Coming out' isn't always a big announcement, but just asking a parent if they can bring their same sex partner to visit.

I can imagine that it can be very difficult especially where expectations of grandchildren have run high.

I think there is a very big difference in flaunting your sexuality as opposed to 'coming out' with it
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mjfromga
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16-07-2015, 01:18 PM
If expectations of grandchildren have run high and it's not going to happen, then the parents really were thinking more about what they wanted instead of what their kids wanted anyway. Not good.

My mom wanted grandchildren badly like some mothers do. I'm 26 and never want kids and my brother is gay so it's not going to happen. She has known this for years and we have never told her anything to lead her to believe otherwise.

She's accepted it. If I wanted to date a female or bring one home or whatever, I would not need to ask nor say anything, because my family would not care. Shes GOT to know by now that neither of us are heterosexual (she has NEVER asked, because of course she doesn't care) and even if she didn't, so? WHY is there a need to tell her in words?

My mother is extremely religious and even stands against the gay lifestyle, but at the same time she accepts us for who we are and how we like to live and realizes that it's our job to live how we want to. She would never judge us or reject us for anything.

Parents that don't put unimportant things such as personal beliefs or selfish ambitions between them and their kids do NOT need to be verbally told that their kids are gay because it simple would not and should not make a difference at all in any situation.

I find that usually people who come out as gay are looking for acceptance, validation, sympathy, or just testing the waters because they are unsure of other people's reactions... those all signal other issues that need to be addressed IMO.

Recently very popular Youtuber Shane Dawson came out as bisexual (as if everyone didn't know that already) in a dramatic crying video of absolute nonsense IMO. THAT is the kind of stuff I really don't get.

If your parents are religious and judge you for being a certain way (which was already EXTREMELY obvious) there really is NO POINT in doing that. It won't make you feel better, it won't make them accept you, and it has no effect at all.
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Lynn
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16-07-2015, 03:04 PM
I didn't say I would of wanted a big announcement if your read my post I said I would of been hurt if they felt they couldn't of told their dad or myself their sexual preference.
I am not continuing to bang my head on a brick wall with this or keep explaining myself to someone who is 30 years younger than me.
If/when you have children you may or may not understand. Who knows.
We care about our boys and our boys have always felt comfortable coming to us with worries and troubles so I would not of expected different in the situation you made a thread about.

I am bowing out now it is Gordens birthday today and our anniversary and we have had news that Dillon needs x-rays on his elbows and a lump on his paw removed so quite frankly I have more worrying issues.
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