I am on here nearly everyday. It does really help to talk so don't be afraid. Goodnight.

I have suffered with this too over the last year and i too take propranalol when required. It is a case of mind over matter but is so very difficult to overcome. the propranol (beta blocker) should lessen the effects of the adrenalin rushing round your body and thus make you feel less anxious/panicked. it may well be worth trying to get some stress management counselling as they can teach calming techniques.I would also recomend relaxation exercises/ cd`s etc that you can do when you feel the onset of an attack. please feel free to pm me at anytime. it is a horrible place to be, living in fear of an attack is very limiting. All the hugs in the world .

thanks Fudgeley

I am at work just now and am in a small state about going into town to get lunch and the more I think about it the worse it gets. Vicious circle going on.

I bought a couple of cds about meditation and self hypnosis not sure they are working, I also do the deep breathing or try to breathe in for the count of 7 and out for 11....11....gee I run out of breath about 9 and then worry I amn't doing it properly!!!

Have asked doc for counselling but he says theres NO POINT as 18 month waitig list!!!

So I don't know where else to ask.

It does really help to know that there really are other people who have suffered though, and more importantly who can now deal with that awful feeling.

Thank you

Hey hun, you are most definately not alone!!!!

i was put on Propranalol a couple of months ago, for anxiety and citalopram for depression.

For me every time i go out im scared i may run into a manager at work or have to deal with anyone from CIS as i just cannot face it, after all the bullying.

I know the feeling, like yuor going mad, coz how on earth can walking around sainsbury's make you feel like you are gonna be sick and need to get out of there asap????? just in case you see somenone from work, which in itself is such a small probability!!!!

Its a lot more common than you think, for me when i feel an attack coming on, i just breathe deep and imagine im cuddling china on a lovely warm beach and push all thoughts out of my mind.....

You will find something in time that will help you, you just have to keep trying,

in the meantime we are all here for each other!

Alex
xx

Thanks Alexandra

I am off to go get some lunch otherwise I will probably have an attack from dropping sugar levels!!!

I hyave to go to the bank and then find a shop wiyth no queues!!!

But you are right, I don't know about everyone else, but normally I am quite logical, therefore I get anxious and frustrated that walking into a shop can send me into a blind panic and an ability to out run even the fastets dog!!!!!

Normally OH would meet me but he has a meeting so this is all on my own

one step at a time hun!!! you know you can do this!

This is a subject about which I can speak with at least some degree of authority. If I give unrelated material, forgive me, but I think there may be extracts that you can relate to as well.

I've been where it sounds like you are now, and beyond. It was about two years ago now (I think) that I stepped from being where you are now to a complete and utter shut-down.

In my case, I was the stupid one. I didn't get help when I started recognising that things weren't right. I then allowed some severe trauma into my life (meeting family that I hadn't seen since being a wee child) and still believed that I would just cope. I then did something that, to this day, I can't speak about as it was so shameful, and that was the final straw.

I came home in floods of tears and within minutes it was like my entire life had gone into a fast reverse. Everything I looked at seemed too tall. Noises were too loud, lights too bright, and everything just seemed more scary than it should. At this point I can see exactly what happened -- my brain went back to being five years old and I was seeing and hearing everything as a child again. At the time, however, it was just beyond frightening.

I was submitted into the psychiatric part of the hospital that night. It's taken me a long time to be able to admit to that. These days however, I see it as little more than a means to an end. Sadly, as much as we try to paint it to the contrary, society still doesn't understand issues of mental illness.

After that and until I got my dog really, I managed to become a recluse. I lost contact with all friends and family and couldn't step outside. My feeling was that people could see what I could feel. Logically, they couldn't of course, but that is how it felt. I felt as though all eyes were upon me. I couldn't even walk near an open curtain in my house.

I was incredibly lucky in that my Doctor was extremely understanding. To this day I can't thank him enough. It pains me that we are moving counties now and I will have to change Doctor. It's comforting to know that I've had him if things were to take a wrong turn again.

He tried me on several different drugs. Most of them made me feel very ill, particularly with stomach pains and dizziness. We finally settled on EFEXOR, Venlafaxine and that was the one that seemed to work. Though, as I recall, it took several weeks to kick in. During this time I came about as close to killing myself as I'd ever like to come. I recall the lines of a Robbie Williams song: "I don't wanna die, but I ain't keen on living either." which was pretty much how I felt. Each day seemed longer than the last and I would have been thankful not to have to see another one.

During that time, I had the help of a social worker (bizarre too as that is what my partner does), and a psychiatrist. I personally couldn't gel with the psychiatrist and so the Doctor, Social Worker and I all agreed not to waste his time, as they are extremely busy people. The Social Worker tried to get me to join clubs and such like but alas that was too much for me at the time. I just felt trapped and needed to exit as quickly as possible.

But, knowing that I could speak to the Social Worker was a comfort in itself. We men aren't very good at revealing our feelings generally and so I didn't feel that I could explain my feelings elsewhere. Even to my partner who showed and still shows nothing but complete support.

A year or so ago I realised that I couldn't stay locked in the house all of the time. Not only was I wasting my life, but my partner's too. It dawned on me that I would feel safer with a dog at my side. No idea why now, other than perhaps she would get the attention of the eyes that I felt would otherwise be on me. She would also need walking and, as unfeeling as some may think I am, I can't not walk the dog.

Since then I haven't looked back. I'm out for three hours a day, I meet people on the walk and have acquired a couple of people who I consider to be friends doing that, I walk into town, etc. Could I visit a pub? Probably not. I still don't do crowds of people, but I will. I've stopped smoking this year, completely changed my diet, and am even looking at changing what I do for a living.

Coming off the pills was an episode in itself. We had to do it really slowly as there was acute dizziness without them. We just lowered the dose by 50mg each couple of months. The most important thing about the medication was that my GP always made me feel that I had 100% control of it. There was no hurry to go on them or come off them.

My point is that no matter how bad things seem, and believe me, I know that they can often seem intolerable, things can and do change.

There is no sense to why you feel like you do. You'll drive yourself nuts trying to find the sense in it. Try to learn to accept that you are as you are, for now. Forget those who give the infernally annoying and ill-informed "sort yourself out" type of responses. They can't see a cast or a bruise and so they can't grasp that something can be wrong.

There are no quick fixes and there doesn't need to be. You have a whole lifetime. For me, the dog, the brilliant support offered by the social worker and my GP, and above all, time were the best healers. For you, it may well be something completely different. But it will come to you in time, I'm sure of it.

As for practical solutions, a toughie as we're all so different. I have found that holding a bunch of keys in my hand as I walk about really helps me. I can focus on the keys and not on what is going on around me. Sounds silly I know, but...

I hope that you can find someone in a professional capacity to talk to as it really helped me to get to the root causes. There are some things that I've had to learn to accept about myself and accept that I may never be able to sit in crowded pubs, for example. But, the list of things that I can now do grows almost weekly.

Truly, I hope it works out for you, and if you need an understanding word, just drop me a PM or something.

Thank you so much GSD,

I am now back at work and looking at the GSD calendar I have pinned to the wall!!!

You have related to so much of what I feel, and I am so glad and thankful for you sharing your story with me. I don't know of any real trauma in my life except for possibly the untimely deaths of 4 people to whom I was close two in a fortnights period (3 years ago) the other when I was 17 and the other 2 years ago. these people were 8 years old 31 years old, 21 years old and 28 years old and were all sudden. And I do think at the time I got on with stuff to be strong for others and maybe this is some of the problem.

I do tend to be quite guarded and would never think of admitting to friends that I see that I believe these events may be causing me saddness at this time, funny that eh? I feel I would be judged and I know that is probably so untrue and if roles were reversed I would be there for them.

Anyway I know what you mean about the keys......I do tend to do that aswell!!!! Or fiddle with my phone. Just to try to distract me. But even ther in the roll shop there was 1 guy in the queue who I knew and he was getting loads of rolls so I had to wait for mine to be made up and when realised this my heart missed a beat my head started to spin and my legs were like jelly - crazy or what, it was like verything around me started to slow down and I was stuck in a warp. I started to try to speak to the guy I knew and my voice sounded all funny!! It obviously didnt to him as he replied and we made small talk!! No full blown panic attack, but it was uncomfortable but I am now back complete with Tuna roll and can of coke.

Everyone from work going out tonight straight from work for a drink but not me, absolutely no way and everyone keeps saying it will do me good. They just cant understand.

Thank you all for your understanding and support

It is lovely how supportive people are here!

I have just been started on Prozac for depression and panic attacks. It sort of crept up on me, I have gradually been isolating myself without really realising it. I thought I was doing OK, but that was because I wasnt doing anything out of the house (apart from dog walks). It dawned on me how bad it had got when I began having panic attacks before going to work (which I love). I went to the doctors on Wednesday and he has started me on these tablets.

I have had panic attacks in the past and know how to control them when they start, just not how to stop them in the first place!

Just remember you are not alone!

Yes, I understand what you are saying. The Social Worker walked me around town one day. We had to keep stopping, and I told her what I thought was happening. In my mind, everyone was watching me, hell even pointing at me. The reality was, of course, when she asked me to stop and look around, people couldn't give two hoots about me and were too busy getting on with their own lives.

I think that it's important you remember the moments you had this morning, where what you expected to happen didn't actually happen. Instead of the ground swallowing you up, and you dying a million deaths, you actually enjoyed a small chat. Who'd have thought it? I'm at the point now where I am usually the one who initiates a conversation when I'm walking the dog. Never discard the little triumphs, no matter how little they may seem at the time. They soon add up.