Why feel sorry for him? He is in a relationship with the OP, he has responsibilities. What would happen if Aimmee wasn't concerned & further down the line he couldn't afford the car loan repayments? Its called being concerned & planning for the future where I come from. All very sensible. Why can't he wait until Aimmee finds a job & take it from there instead of diving straight in at the deep end.

It's just one "m"

Well said. I've told hubby he can't have a motorbike until our debts are paid off and we can afford to run both the car and a bike. Guess we're not in a loving, caring relationship either He knows we can't afford both but sometimes buys things without thinking.

I have to be honestly, I think it's downright rude of someone here to be making assumptions about the OP's relationship and how much she cares about her partner based on a thread about him wanting to buy a car she is worried they cannot afford. I think the person making these assumptions should consider how she would feel if her own husband/partner made a large financial commitment that affected her without giving due consideration to her concerns about it.

And yes, I can see both sides of the fence here. Years ago, I wanted and eventually bought a sports car. However, I busted my backside working many, many hours of overtime to save up and buy the car outright, no need for a loan and my (now ex) husband was quite happy for me to have it because financially, it didn’t impact upon him.

However, circumstances change and I am now faced with having to part with my precious car because it needs expensive repairs that I do not think we can afford. I am unable to work now (other half has health issues which require me to be his carer). We no longer need (and can’t afford) to have two cars, and unfortunately for me, I have to make the practical decision to keep Jon's Astra (he no longer drives because of his health) because it's a more sensible car to have (fortnightly shopping, luggage and greyhound when going to see his parents, etc).

I'm going to be heartbroken to lose my car, I put so much hard work and effort into getting it, but I am in a committed relationship and I have to make my decision based on our financial situation and our practical needs as a couple with a dog who cannot fit into my sports car.

In a relationship, as in the rest of life, you cannot always have what you want when you want it. I think the OP is being very sensible and mature in her current situation and I hope for her sake that her partner comes to realise this.

I agree with both Jackbox and also lilyput.

You're both still very young, try and live a little. And the fact that he is the main earner just now and his family are contributing a lot to the bills of the property and the car, IMO doesn't really give you much of a right to "not allow" him to consider the things that he wants to, whether they are right or wrong.

Whilst I agree that he chose to be in this partnership with you and with that comes some responsibility, I also wonder that if you go on like this and constantly nag him, you might just push him away for good. JMO.

Hush your noise you, I like the 'm'...see!! mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Thank you for your opinion, unfortunately it escaped out the other ear just like Lillyput and Jackbox's did Must get these ears fixed..

it could be worse, most people spell it Amie - which I hate

I see you should edit the topic title with ........only replies that agree with me please.

i think your response shows the immaturity I mentioned earlier


Y

What? Why even start a thread on the subject then if you believe your opinion on the subject is the be all and end all of the matter? What's the point?

I feel a bit sorry for your OH, to be honest!

Not everyone agrees with me but others have come up with useful ways to sort this out - something I and my OH can sit down and work on together .. I apologise if it seems that I only side with the ones that agree with me, but no one said I had to agree with the opinions that disagreed with me, did they? I've taken them into account, I've listened/read what you have put but telling me I'm being childish, selfish and not in a loving caring relationship is beyond comprehension as you don't even know me as a person - only what I let you know and tbh apart from this hiccup - we are very happy together, thank you very much. I have explained why he can't afford it and I have even gone through all the income and outgoings which show that if he takes all practicality out of what he needs in a car to get to and from Bulford then he can afford it and he'll spend more money getting to and from or going on the train. But if he has this car and the scenic he can still afford it, yet won't have much left to enjoy it.. but again I must be the only person to get upset over something their OH has done. He asked my opinion and I gave it and he even told his Dad the other week he couldn't afford it and now he has decided he can again.

I actually think I am making a mature decision by telling him he cannot afford it now - because although I would love to use the words "I told you so" no matter how childish that is I don't want to have to go there because I would rather he wait a couple of years.. in this day and age you can't have everything you want, when you want it.. see Rolomums post..

I'm sorry if me not agreeing with your opinions doesn't agree with you but the last time I checked, I posted, I've listened and as always with forums I can decide for myself what goes in what ear and stays there and what goes out the other one..