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labradork
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11-04-2010, 09:38 PM
All sounds very odd to me.

There are people that I have known as 'acquaintances' (rather than friends...) for years but I wouldn't dream of waltzing off to some remote island with them.
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Deedee1321
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11-04-2010, 09:44 PM
This woman has already told him she makes all her own homemade meals and he will have 3 good meals a day and she used to be a chef or something....she used to take him to her house and cook for him when she lived over here so that is what he is looking forward to, 10 days of total mothering (smothering I call it )
Eekk! Sounds a bit Hansel and Gretal!! She's going to like feed him up and eat him lol Sorry, i'm probably not very helpful.

I do think from what you have said is that it is more that he is being quite niave with this wifey as opposed to taking advantage of her. Especially given the way he is with his Mum.. the danger is that other people won't see it that way. Also, the fact that she has talked about her sex life with him is really odd... It's also a bit strange that he would just go there for 2 weeks, maybe start with a weekend and take you with him to visit but 2 weeks seems a long time for a visit.

tis a difficult one!

Dee x
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Losos
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11-04-2010, 10:01 PM
Originally Posted by random View Post
he said it was all decided before we were together so it was a choice he had already made which is why I didn't really push him into not going,
You're between a rock and a hard place then

I guess you can't really stand in his way if he has committed himself prior to meeting you.

Make sure his phone battery is kept charged up and tell him to phone you everyday

And pray she's just a lonely old eccentric and maybe all will be well.

From what I know Sark is well known for rich eccentrics, there are two brothers who own most of it and it's the only part of the UK where they have their own parliament and make all their own laws
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random
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11-04-2010, 11:07 PM
Originally Posted by labradork View Post
All sounds very odd to me.

There are people that I have known as 'acquaintances' (rather than friends...) for years but I wouldn't dream of waltzing off to some remote island with them.
Exactly...

Originally Posted by Deedee1321 View Post
Eekk! Sounds a bit Hansel and Gretal!! She's going to like feed him up and eat him lol Sorry, i'm probably not very helpful.

I do think from what you have said is that it is more that he is being quite niave with this wifey as opposed to taking advantage of her. Especially given the way he is with his Mum.. the danger is that other people won't see it that way. Also, the fact that she has talked about her sex life with him is really odd... It's also a bit strange that he would just go there for 2 weeks, maybe start with a weekend and take you with him to visit but 2 weeks seems a long time for a visit.

tis a difficult one!

Dee x
Well that is what I said, why on earth that long, why not just a weekend at first???
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random
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11-04-2010, 11:09 PM
Originally Posted by Reisu View Post
She actually sounds a lot like my Nan... VERY free with money, mysterious partner, talks about her sex life... So it doesn't sound so odd to me. I think he should be very careful not to get in too deep with the friendship if it makes him uncomfortable, but it does sound more likely to me that she's lonely and shows her appreciation for him spending time with her through expensive stuff, and perhaps wants somebody to look after in lieu of her own kids (rather than a slave or murder victim )
LOL well I hope you're the one who is right because I will hardly hear from him over the next days if there is no mobile signal over there!
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random
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11-04-2010, 11:14 PM
Originally Posted by Losos View Post
You're between a rock and a hard place then

I guess you can't really stand in his way if he has committed himself prior to meeting you.

Make sure his phone battery is kept charged up and tell him to phone you everyday

And pray she's just a lonely old eccentric and maybe all will be well.

From what I know Sark is well known for rich eccentrics, there are two brothers who own most of it and it's the only part of the UK where they have their own parliament and make all their own laws
Okkkkkk so I didn't know about their own parliament and their own laws so thanks for that! But I knew it was full of rich eccentrics so she will fit right in there then!

Just worried now in case there is limited mobile signal out there...

Well, he rings me everyday he doesn't see me most of the time and txt me umpteen times a day anyway so I won't be sounding too pushy by saying that at least!

Apparently there is a waiting list for houses on Sark that's why it took her so long to move there! Sounds like one hell of a scary place to me and Yell was scary enough!
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Emma
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12-04-2010, 02:09 AM
Something just doesn't sound right, through reading it all, it gave me the creeps, I kept looking to see if there was something that made me feel better, but to no avail, and he is not my b/f
First off I think I watch too much TV, it reminded me of Desperate Housewives then Harpers Island
It all sounds a bit off kilter really, who goes to an island with some old lady they have seen from time to time, for 10days for no specific purpose??
I am trying to think of the good things in this but really there are none. Your b/f sounds very molly coddled but his own mum, who doesn't have a problem with the situation (I find that weird, as if I told either of my parents, I was doing what he was but with a man (being the older, rich, eccentric person) they would lose it and I would get a lecture not my mum staying with me at the hotel.
This woman could be harmless and more than likely is, she may not see money as anything but endless so not having a problem with it. But it just sounds so weird and gives me the creeps.
I know you don't want to be controlling but seriously would he be okay if the shoe was on the other foot?? I know my OH wouldn't be, if it was me going and vice versa.
He is young, got the male attitude of 'it will be alright' (I know I am generalising) and if things do hit the fan, he wouldn't see it coming.
Sorry still creepy, I hope these 10days go fast, and he gets mobile reception, so you can have contact with him.
Now most of us have got you worried with our different scenario's I think you do need to draw a line at some point with it as you don't sound comfortable at all with it and that is not been controlling that is just being very concerned, maybe see what happens when he comes back and if there are any more holidays planned with this woman, that is when it needs to happen.
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mishflynn
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12-04-2010, 05:29 AM
Right! Who knows someone who lives on sark?
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Emma
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12-04-2010, 05:34 AM
Originally Posted by mishflynn View Post
Right! Who knows someone who lives on sark?
no luck here ut really doesn't the end of the movie go and have a twist in it and the rescuer gets killed because the 'innocent' b/f was in on it


Now seriously I second Mishflynns idea
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Hali
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12-04-2010, 06:51 AM
Kel, I wouldn't blame your OH about all this.

Looking at it from his point of view, he has a friend who he's known for 2 years through the church (longer than he's known you - although not as intimately (I hope!!). This friend, who has a partner of her own, has offered him the chance of a free holiday.

If I was him, I would've said yes, particularly if it was pretty much arranged before you two became seriously involved.

Try not to worry. I'm sure your OH knows right from wrong and if this woman does try anything, I am sure he will put a stop to it.

Once he's back you can help him decide what sort of contact he continues to have with her - whatever has or hasn't happened on the trip might make that easier.
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