To Smack or Not to Smack....

I couldn't help recall a quote by King Edward VIII, "The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.", after reading an article in yesterday's Independent, regarding the smacking of children.

What particularly saddened me about the article is how the contents so well reflected the namby-pamby society that we now find ourselves living within. In it, Sir Al Aynsley-Green righteously declares, amongst other things, that existing laws fail to protect children, and that, wait for it, minors should have as much legal protection as adults. What planet has he been taking his obvious long-term vacation on?

The balance between child and parent tipped into the child's favour after the last rounds of governmental meddling and constant megalomania.

Of course, it doesn't stop there. The usual cliché of how smacking can lead to physical abuse, and that it is no different to common assault, citing one of the very few high-profile cases of Victoria Climbie. But Sir Al, not one to forget the smaller details in preparing his report, also states the perennial problem of of blacks and ethnics being at particular risk, apparently because "bruises or marks are harder to detect on their skin."

Already twenty countries have an outright ban on smacking children. I just don't see how Mr. Blair can pull this one off (presuming that he will do as he always does and put through any law that can give the state even more power), given his Newsnight statement of this year, that he had smacked his oldest children but not his youngest. "I think everybody knows the difference between smacking a kid and abusing a child", he added in the same interview.

Are we really a better society for all the power we have given to the children over recent years? If so, I confess, I'm struggling to see the positive changes. What I see is mostly teens who have absolutely no sense of personal responsibility, know the price of everything and the value of nothing, and know full well that they can act up as much as they like, for they have, thanks in no small part to Mr. Blair, become untouchable, by any figure who should be able to exercise discipline. How the hell teachers are supposed to cope in this day and age is completely beyond my comprehension, let alone parents.

So do I support smacking? I would hope that we all look for better ways to discipline our children first, but there are times when it has validity, and I think every parent in the country should be able to make use of it, at their discretion. As Mr. Blair himself stated, we know the difference, and those who play on the notion that they are one and the same, in an effort to further their causes, should be ashamed of themselves. It's playing on people's guilt. I struggle to believe that any responsible parent enjoys disciplining their child in any form, let alone smacking, and I can't believe that Sir Al doesn't already know this. He just chooses to ignore it, and use it as ammunition instead.

I used to think, you know, that nobody in the future history of Government, could cripple this country any more than Thatcher did. How wrong I was.

I read this article with my partner, who has the unenviable task of working with children in a residential care centre. Her view being that the sad fact is, over recent years, through trying to empower children, we've given them far more responsibility than they can reliably cope with at such young ages. I hear tales of how the staff there are beaten up by the children, and it's quite horrific. The staff, in return, I gather, are so bound by legislation, that it's often less risky to get beaten, than it is to try and defend themselves and risk a court-case. A society that has that degree of oppression simply cannot be a healthy and balanced society. It just can't.

Good Blog!!! I agree with every word!

yup, great Blog. You have my vote

Sorry I don't agree. I've also worked in residential care for children and in education and the problems are not with the children that have NOT been smacked, but rather those that have. Those children that have learnt that being physical wins. Children copy what they see. Smacking to me is abusive. Sorry.My opinion. I have never and would never raise a finger to my son or my dogs. Just because I can hit them doesn't mean I am right...just at that moment in time I am more powerful, what does that prove? Sorry. Rant over.

My partner who currently works in residential care (and has done for almost twenty-years) with nothing but "problem children" disagrees with you. It is more often children who have received NO discipline of any kind, often because their parents are "too busy" to care for their children, not children that have been smacked. As she does it day in and day out, reads the full case files, and visits the homes, I have to sort of respect that she knows what she's talking about.

Your theory also doesn't explain the millions upon millions of children who were smacked and never become problem teens or adults.

The residential care I worked in was with children who had been severely abused and were all, as a definite result 'problem' children. I also had access to case histories etc etc etc.
Generally parents who don't have time for their children are also, in my experience, the ones who will smack them, rather than talk to them and deal with their behaviour head on. They go for instant quick fix..which, to me, is what a 'smack' is. Sorry.
I'll back off now as Blogs aren't meant to be discussion threads...!!!!!!!

Enjoyed reading your blog GSDLover, and I agree with it too!

Must admit I feel pretty much like Ramble, it seems to me the problem kids are those from broken or abusive families to begin with, not from families who take time to communicate with their children, building the foundations of a lasting relationship with them.

*Touch wood* the kids in my family are as good as gold, and have never been smacked. They know when they should stop answering back or being naughty - a stern look or, if needed, raised voice is enough.

I was a mum in the 70's and I'm afraid I smacked my daughter, when I felt there was no other recourse. I always warned that a smack was coming if she persisted in doing something wrong. I didn't do it a lot, but meant it when I did. My daughter grew into a well adjusted adult. She now has two beautiful kids of her own, whom she doesn't smack, and whom I feel are lacking in the discipline they need because of it.

well said GSD - *hands out medals*

xx