register for free
View our sister sites
Our sister sites
Our sister sites
Our sister sites
Daysleeper40
Dogsey Junior
Daysleeper40 is offline  
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 157
Female 
 
20-05-2009, 04:56 PM
Originally Posted by MissE View Post
I read through this thread with interest, because of the nature/nurture element; but it saddened me to read that so many of you (myself included) have been affected.

What would I see done? I'd have them under a microscope to find out why. Just like bacteria were analysed and eventually the treatment penicillin discovered.

Divorced from all emotion, unless you know why a thing behaves as it does you can't find out if there is "cure" or even if there is not a "cure"

Would I take the chance of freeing a convicted paedophile? No I would not.
They would be in prison for the rest of their days, so they would never have contact with children again.

Inside prison I would have them analysed mentally, physically, genetically - to further our knowledge -in the hope we might at some point identify one before they strike.
I couldn't agree more.
Reply With Quote
CheekyChihuahua
Dogsey Veteran
CheekyChihuahua is offline  
Location: n/a
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,459
Female 
 
20-05-2009, 05:40 PM
Originally Posted by random View Post
On the other side of the coin I also have a pal who's brother was dragged through the courts being accused of doing something to a boy (he was in charge of a boys brigade) when he didn't, the family accusing him were scum for want of a better word, they wanted to do it for a settlement but luckily they were seen through. This ruined my pal's brother's life, he will always avoid children now and ignore them if they speak to him, never lets his own kids have pals over e.t.c. Very sad.
That is so awful. You wouldn't believe (well you would cos there's so many a$$holes out there) that people could be so utterly calculating and evil! It's like when women cry rape just to get attention or to get a man back for something. I don't know how they live with themselves.
Reply With Quote
CheekyChihuahua
Dogsey Veteran
CheekyChihuahua is offline  
Location: n/a
Joined: Sep 2008
Posts: 2,459
Female 
 
20-05-2009, 05:52 PM
Originally Posted by Benzmum View Post
Sorry to pick on your post CC and I am not really "picking" honest

The point is that is exactly the point when most paedophiles strike when they have you, the parent's, FULL and unconditional support. It is extremely unlikely a paedophile will strike (unless a random attack - whereby there is usually a history of sexual deviance or violent sexual behaviourdisplays prior to the "attack") when they have little half or even 3/4 trust, in fact I would stick my neck out here and say, apart from the random stranger attacks, the percentage of crimes committed by individuals not trusted100% by the parents would be very very small.

CC I know you go on to say that, and I paraphrase here, you may neverreally know someone and I think that is the nail being hit on the head.....the only person you ever really know is yourself and that is a sad fact of human nature....or maybe I am justcynical

I also see you go on to say that you are wary of individuals outside the trusted circle and I am not for a minute saying your trusted circle is not a safe one but Vicki, and Vicki please tell me if you are offended by this comment, I am sure trusted her partner 100% as do many other mothers and fathers who go through this awful situation.

Vicki my heart goes out to you and its prob no comfort at all but it is extremely common, in my experience for children(be they kids or adults) to blame the non abusive partner Huge hugs hun

Tbh, since this thread started, I'm probably going to be more paranoid than usual (and that's pretty paranoid). My kids are always complaining that I'm "OTT" about where they go, what they do, what time they have to be back, not going into neighbours houses, etc.........................I think they'll wish this thread never started, because I think it's going to make me worse.

The reason for that, Vicki, though I don't know her, has always sounded sensible, intelligent, everything we all hope to be as parents, yet her partner got away with it under her nose. That is pretty frightening. When you hear these stories, you imagine people are not looking out but, from what I remember posted yesterday, even after what happened came out in the open, Vicki's partner continued, sneakily enough to do it without being found out. That is SCARY!!!!!! I hope I haven't mixed up the facts and I hope you don't mind me referring to what happened to you, Vicki
Reply With Quote
Vicki
Dogsey Veteran
Vicki is offline  
Location: In a land far, far away
Joined: Sep 2005
Posts: 41,933
Female 
 
20-05-2009, 06:47 PM
No, I don't mind at all. It was only some months later that some of his behaviours made sense to me.

For instance, if I went into my daughter's room to chat with her about school, or whatever, "he" always appeared...... I now know that he was terrifed she would tell me.

As it happened, she only told me after telling her best school mate. Said mate then told her mother who convinced my daughter to tell me.

The awful thing was the circumstances surrounding her telling me..... I was at work on the late shift. "He" was on his way home (we worked together) probably no more than 20 minutes away. When I picked up the phone to my daughter and said "hello chick, are you ok?", her response was "mum, dad makes me do things"....
I remember it like it was yesterday.

I believed her immediately, but realised with complete horror that "he" was almost home and I was 90 minutes away...... I'm still amazed I got home in one piece......

In the middle of the night she and I ran........
Reply With Quote
ClaireandDaisy
Dogsey Veteran
ClaireandDaisy is offline  
Location: Essex, UK
Joined: Jan 2008
Posts: 14,147
Female 
 
20-05-2009, 08:36 PM
You are so brave, Vicky. My ex was physically violent, so I know what a dreadful blow it is when you are betrayed by someone who should be your friend and soul-mate.
It`s as though you lose your future as well as your past - all the memories that previously were happy ones are tainted. All your future plans and dreams disappear.
Thank heaven she found the courage to tell you.
Reply With Quote
Reisu
Almost a Veteran
Reisu is offline  
Location: Kent, UK
Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,031
Female 
 
20-05-2009, 09:30 PM
i'm so sorry that happened to you and your daughter Vicki. it's amazing how convincing they can be, i can't say too much about it because the guy is still appealing his sentance and it's quite a high profile case, but something to this nature happened to my sister at the hands of a man in a position of trust. Despite my parents suspicions he came to our house, looked them in the eye and made them feel bad about it. They had no proof, and were assured that she was under supervision from the mans parents whenever she was with him, so they let it go. Turns out his parents were just turning a blind eye to it. My parents are no fools, and they had experience with things like this having been trained as foster carers and spending many years working in a school where this kind of thing was commonplace... It really can happen to anyone.
Reply With Quote
Reply
Page 8 of 8 « First < 5 6 7 8


Currently Active Users Viewing This Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Thread Tools


© Copyright 2016, Dogsey   Contact Us - Dogsey - Top Contact us | Archive | Privacy | Terms of use | Top