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Trouble
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17-05-2009, 07:18 AM
[quote=Minihaha;1685484]I tend to look at deviant behaviour as being on a scale with a balance in the middle. People with 'normal desires' are on the right of the balance and on the left you have the varying degrees of deviancy from the fetishists to those who commit serious sexual crimes.
quote]


This sums up my feelings on the subject, everyone has different desires and needs. Some people take them to extremes and act on their desires with no boundaries, others may feel the desire but choose not to act upon them. Some people seem to have no sexual desires or needs at all, and yet some of them get married and go along with whats considered normal, While others lead a celibate life. I think there can be many factors which influence where we fall on the balance scale.
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Vicki
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17-05-2009, 07:50 AM
There's no way you can tell. I was married to one........
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Ripsnorterthe2nd
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17-05-2009, 06:56 PM
Originally Posted by Vicki View Post
There's no way you can tell. I was married to one........
Blimey, how horrid for you.
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CheekyChihuahua
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17-05-2009, 07:11 PM
I know that there is supposed to be this theory that these people do what they do because they've been abused themselves but it just doesn't sit right with me. If you have been abused, you know the pain it causes (not just physical either) so why would anyone carry that disgusting behaviour on and ruin another person's life

I have no thoughts or feelings for people like that. There is such a thing as self-control. So maybe they have these "urges" but they have to control them, not ruin kids lives.

I think there are far too many people that excuse such disgusting behaviour (because of their past and so on). In my view, there is no reason to interfere with a child - no matter what has happened in your childhood or any other time. They should be booked in at the Vets for neutering, if they want to display animal behaviour
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Jackie
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17-05-2009, 07:15 PM
Originally Posted by Donny dog View Post
To put a different slant on it, and I hope I'm not going to get slated here, but evidence would suggest that anyone who displays inappropriate sexualised behaviour, has either suffered or witnessed it themselves.
Now I'm no expert on it, and only have my training to back this up, but I'm not sure I agree with any child being born with any negativity. I think it's to do with how a child is nurtured and the life experiences they have even as a very young baby.

I've worked with children who have been abused at a very young age, who you would think have no recollection, but their attachement issues vary greatly from displaying similar behaviour, to total withdrawal from society.

It must be such an awful time for you having known him, but hopefully, wherever he's been placed, will have suitable intervention packages to stop this happening again.
I think I would have to go along with this theory..in general..but as is life there will always be exceptions to the rule.

Not sure I believe people are born bad ..life experience and strength of character plays a big part in it... or thats what I believe.

So in some ways your genetic make up will mold you into the person you are... for some the bad experiences as a child will influnence their nature into adult either one way or the other... to follow what they know, or to make sure they never go down that path.

I also dont beleive people DONT know right from wrong... even when it is part of your childhood.. society in the long run will educate what is exceptable or not... it will be down to the individual to pick his path.
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Daysleeper40
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17-05-2009, 07:37 PM
Originally Posted by CheekyChihuahua View Post
I know that there is supposed to be this theory that these people do what they do because they've been abused themselves but it just doesn't sit right with me. If you have been abused, you know the pain it causes (not just physical either) so why would anyone carry that disgusting behaviour on and ruin another person's life

I have no thoughts or feelings for people like that. There is such a thing as self-control. So maybe they have these "urges" but they have to control them, not ruin kids lives.

I think there are far too many people that excuse such disgusting behaviour (because of their past and so on). In my view, there is no reason to interfere with a child - no matter what has happened in your childhood or any other time. They should be booked in at the Vets for neutering, if they want to display animal behaviour
Understanding what has shaped someone's personality doesn't mean that you find their deviant behaviour acceptable or are excusing it in any way.

To say you "know the pain it causes so you wouldn't do it to someone else" is a far too simplistic way of considering what feelings you would go through if abused as a child - particularly by a parent. Just for a second try to imagine the confusion and how this might completely warp your own perception of love / sex / relationships. That is not to say all paedophiles have been abused, or all children who have been will become paedophiles.

I don't think there is one simple answer to the nature / nurture debate. I doubt very much that all paedophiles/rapists/murderers do what they do for the same reason. One thing I'm pretty sure of is that we all have the potential to do these things - whether it is because of a chemical imbalance / brain injury / traumatic event / mental or physical abuse. We are also not born with an understanding of what is deemed right / wrong in the society that we happen to live in - that definately has to be learned.
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Vicki
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17-05-2009, 07:43 PM
Originally Posted by Ripsnorterthe2nd View Post
Blimey, how horrid for you.
Yes, it was. He has a hell of a lot to answer for......

It happened 25 years ago, and my daughter has never recovered.

Lucky for "him", he died in 1991...... but not before being declared "cured" by the experts.

What a crock that turned out to be....
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Ripsnorterthe2nd
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17-05-2009, 07:44 PM
Originally Posted by Vicki View Post
Yes, it was. He has a hell of a lot to answer for......

It happened 25 years ago, and my daughter has never recovered.

Lucky for "him", he died in 1991...... but not before being declared "cured" by the experts.

What a crock that turned out to be....
{{{{{hugs}}}}} hun x
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Shona
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17-05-2009, 07:46 PM
Originally Posted by Vicki View Post
Yes, it was. He has a hell of a lot to answer for......

It happened 25 years ago, and my daughter has never recovered.

Lucky for "him", he died in 1991...... but not before being declared "cured" by the experts.

What a crock that turned out to be....
huge hugs maw...xx
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Lucky Star
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17-05-2009, 07:50 PM
I'm so sorry, Vicki. Hugs xxx

Rips - I think it is both; that some people are born that way and some learn to be that way. What I find difficult is that these people appear to have no conscience. They must surely know that what they are doing is wrong and that it will cause terrible distress and horrendous repercussions for the victim but they do it anyway.
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