Feeling disappointed :(

Cain reacted to my brother today and it's really made me feel rubbish, I keep thinking about it.

Cain sort of knows my brother but sees him so intermittently (about once every 3 months) that I certainly wouldn't say he "knows" him. Me and mum met him for lunch then he popped back to the house for a bit. It wasn't planned. Normally I have a military action plan in place which works.

We usually go through the babygate, flinging treats charade which has always worked well. I was a bit lax this time as Cain had been doing so well with visitors. Plus we were all entering the house together so it was hard to set up.

Tim entered the house with us and Cain greeted him nicely. I gave Tim a toy to throw for him, which Cain grabbed then ran to his bed. He dropped the toy then came back to say hi to Tim. He seemed normal. I told Tim it was ok to sit down (I keep visitors standing until Cain has settled so he doesn't head butt them!). Tim did give him a little pat but Cain seemed fine. Suddenly Cain reacted, his hackles flew up and he flung himself at Tim's face, barking. I yelled OI as a reaction to break him off and Cain stopped. I then told him to get on his bed, lie down and stay.

We were all totally shocked as he's never done this before, once someone is in the house and he has greeted them he's usually fine. He's never decided 5 mins later that he doesn't like them. And we have no idea what caused it. Tim's fairly sensible around dogs, made sure not to stare at him. He may have given him too much attention but I have no idea. No warning, he just flipped

Tim was fine, Cain made contact but only with his paws, the rest was just noise. But I'm still feeling totally gutted. I thought we had the guest thing sorted. I'm gutted that I couldn't identify the trigger. I'm gutted that I didn't prepare better and set the babygate up. I'm gutted that I got blasé and assumed that things would be fine. I'm gutted that I put Cain in a position he was uncomfortable with. I'm just gutted and miserable

I contacted my vet about the behavioural referral which we've talking about for a while only to find out that she is on holiday until 22nd November.

I can understand why you're feeling this way, but remember you are doing your best and today you did the best you COULD do given that the visit to your house wasn't planned.

I know it's a totally different issue, but I am still stuggling to stop Dexter going beserk when on lead and other on lead dogs are close. Yesterday we had a gorgeous walk and then he went MAD when we turned a corner and walked straight into a bloke and his GSD. I swear, never seen a GSD look so scared!

I guess my point is, we do our best, but ultimately we cannot control all of the variables. You've worked so hard with CAIN and it sounds as though he's really improved in so many ways. Maybe it was just that he was unsure of your brother, maybe your brother made a sudden hand gesture, it could be something you could not possibly pick up on. Don't be too hard on yourself

No advice to offer but a query..and anyone can shoot me down, it's just a thought..

I would think Cain is used to the certain way you have presented people, and a routine - and since he's been thriving on this routine - perhaps it was the lack of it in this instance that caused this reaction? Or perhaps you missed a little sign that said that he wasn't OK with your brother - or your nerves kicked in because it wasn't in the routine? It could be a number of things, but you mustn't (<- is that a word?) blame yourself.

I have the exact same from Benjie - some people he will be good with, others he'll seem fine but 5 minutes later he will be growling and barking at them.. Of course with him it's hit and miss because I'm the only one who keeps up on training.

But I think you ought to take this, not as a step back, but a chance to get some more training in.. look at the positives - he stopped his reaction after your "oi" - would he have done that in the past? He let Tim in the house and let him sit down - he wouldn't have done that a while back would he? His only contact was paws - so thats a lot better than teeth.. And nothing more came of the situation.

Don't blame yourself.. we all relax sometimes and get mislead but if I was you, I'd have my down time, mull it over and tomorrow - crack on with some more visitor training! Forget today and take it one step at a time..

Sorry I had no real advice but I hope this helps you somewhat..

So sorry to hear this, you're obviously doing everything you can for Cain and thought you had the issue completely sorted, so it's no wonder you're feeling disappointed. Some wouldn't even bother so well done you for trying to help Cain.

I'm not a behaviourist and as this is quite a serious issues, I'm not even going to attempt to give any advice, but I do think a few sessions with an experienced, reputable behaviourist is a very good idea. I'm sure they will be able to help you and Cain.

I also wouldn't trust every vet referral behaviourist either, so please don't assume that they will always be reputable.....I'll say no more! Make sure you look in to the person yourself first, but I'm sure you will, you're a sensible person.

All the best with Cain.

I feel for you, like others have said though I am not going to advise anything as its something for experts, it sounds like you do everything possible though for your boy and I am sure you will get past this. Its amazing how these dogs can make our day or bring us right down!

I think with a reactive dog you shouldn`t push (sorry). People who visit me infrequently are not expected to interact with the dogs. If they can`t be trusted to leave the dogs alone, I put the dogs in another room.
Cain doesn`t know this bloke is your brother. He just sees someone he`s not sure of.
Sorry to appear harsh, but I think the dog isn`t at fault - I think you are expecting too much.

I never said Cain was at fault, I knows it's all me I'm disappointed in myself It's just that Cain has been doing brilliantly with visitors over the last few months, seemed to be really enjoying visitors. The last time he reacted to a visitor was over a year ago. He has met Tim several times and be fine with him. I would have just shut Cain away if I'd thought there would be a problem but I really thought, given his current history, that he would be fine. I shouldn't have broken from the routine. I dont normally bother to inteoduce Cain to infrequent visitors but i really want him to be ok with my brother. A while ago i begged Tim to come over regularly until Cain knew him, but he wont because hes lazy. I just feel so stupid and disappointed in myself for being such an idiot

Anton has reacted twice like this in the past, almost identically to Cain - visitor came in, Anton seemed fine, then a few moments/minutes later just lunged in their face, barking. He didn't make any contact, but this behaviour preceded his biting.

In both cases, it was a combination of over-arousal, eye contact and physical contact from the vistor that triggered him. As a result, infrequent visitors aren't allowed to touch him, just treat - otherwise, they are told to ignore him.

I know how you feel. Whenever we think we've got something sorted with Anton, something seems to come along and spoil it. We've just learnt to be eternally on our toes in this household now. Hopefully the behaviourist will be able to help.

I really want to see Atilla, but he really is too far away I just feel like I'm failing him. I'm struggling to find the balance between protecting him and everyone, and exposing him to situations he is comfortable with to help him improve. Days like this I feel like never exposing him to anything again, just managing everything carefully (closed doors, muzzles, never off lead, never meeting people) and leaving it at that. But that won't help him get better and I don't think I can live like this for the next 10 years. I'm doing everything I can but it doesn't feel like it's enough. I'm exhausted and I just don't know what to do next

Have you looked at BAT? Not sure if it's quite the thing for Cain but I've just bought a copy of Grisha's book to deal with Casper's reactivity a bit more intensively now we're moving (because I admit to being that coward who has avoided situations, shut him behind guards, etc.!) and it's a good read so far. Meant to show it to you when you popped over but you both looked like you wanted to get home! Also have a copy of "Fiesty Fido" but again, more geared towards reactivity, but you're welcome to flick through them next time we meet up if you want.