Yeah that's it, spot on! My fella is confused and angry about it all too xxx

We keep trying to imagine if we had kids and this happened, I'm SURE I would be happy as long as they were, it's not our fault the venue went bust in the first place and this is the best alternative -i feel- to suit us all!

It is very difficult to comment on someone's relationship with their parents when you don't know them but I do think that e mail from your father was ridiculous and very childish. It would be nice to try and mend the relationship with your parents if you can but not sure how as they don't seem to be helping the situation at all.

Getting married is, hopefully, a once in a liftime event so take your time, make sure you feel 100% confident that what you plan is what you want and then go for it, regardless of what others wish for you. You need to be able to look back on the day with happiness and warmth.

I do hope everything works out for you xx

My best friends 'ran away' to get married in Cornwall.

They didn't tell anyone, including parents, until they were down there, and it was too late for anyone to object.

Their reasons for going elsewhere were partly from controlling parents (on her side), to an issue with an ex which involved the children (on his side).

They went off and got married; then when they came back, had a bit party, which included speeches, wedding cake and a first dance etc. As predicted, her mum took over the whole thing partywise, and she barely got a look in in terms of guest list, menu etc. But as far as she was concerned, she had married the love of her life; and she didn't care what her mum did re the party.

Well as a Mum myself I would say that I think your parents are being a little unfair, BUT to be honest I think under the circs. I would have appreciated a visit from you and Paul to chat face to face about what you want to do - I am gathering you spoke on the phone about this?? In view of the fact that they were shelling out five grand for your wedding I think maybe they were owed a bit more than a phone call and a sudden about- face from you both. I think that was a bit hurtful. I think you should go and visit them asap to have a real heart to heart - I mean a hundred miles is hardly the other end of the country is it? if they can't come to terms with your decision then at least you will have done your best to mend your bridges.........
good luck and hope I haven't offended you with my opinion. Gillx

I've been away for a while and just caught up with this. I am so sorry you havent managed to resolve anything with your parents.
I really dont know what else to say.
Your parents seem to think you are being hurtful, and I wonder if they have stopped to think how they are hurting you and your oh.
As much as you want to please them, sometimes you have to do what is right for you, to me, this is one of those times. I totally agree with tom the lurcher and that you should "live life for you and not for others , if you can sort that one out early in life it will bring lots of happiness".

I believe you can get married pretty much anywhere as long as the place has a licence to conduct weddings (someone correct me if i'm wrong!) it doesnt have to be a church, register office or hotel. Although anywhere other than these and I suspect your parents will think it is alternative!!

I really feel for you. Please let us know how you get on.
hugs xx

Thank you Sue xxx

I can honestly see why she did that! I couldn't have done it, but we did discuss it a year or so ago, as soon as we started the planning, well my mum started the planning..

Of course you haven't offended me, i REALLY appreciate the input, being a parent yourself, yeah I did tell them over the phone, but it was strange, we'd all been to see the venue together then when we got back to my parents house my mum could sense we weren't keen so she was all "Right, i'm fully wedding'd out, i don't want to talk about it, we've seen it, you 2 just need to decide" So we travelled back home that night and yeah, it was the next night I phoned to tell them. I really couldn't have visited them again that week to break the news, we both work.. and even leaving it to the next weekend wasn't possible because I had to tell the venue my decision by the Wednesday and of course I wanted to talk to my mum first.

I still haven't mended any bridges, or even thrown a rope, I still feel really angry, and as the days go on I'm starting to sort of, it sounds awful, but forget about them, and I'm just getting on with my life

Thank you xxxx Still no a single phonecall from them, I have only tried to phone them once since and no answer. I've had no more emails, texts, nothing. My last message was the one from my father which said he had nothing more to say on the matter. My sister is being great, Paul's family are being great.

I still haven't booked anything yet either.

I am sorry you are still at loggerheads over this.

I do not have daughters but do have sons. One is in a relationship after a relationship breakdown a few years ago we knew the girl was not good for him but she was expecting his baby so after Gorden told me to let it go otherwise if and when he needed to come home he wouldn't if we didn't support him. He did need to come home and I didn't say once I told you so he told me years later that if he had listened to me in the beginning he would not of gone through the heartache he did.

I always vowed with my children whether they be boys or girls I would always support them and respect their decisions. There are things I do not agree with but I have lived my life my way after I married so I have to give them the same respect. I hope I have achieved that.

I can understand your mum being hurt and your dad backing her up after all he has to live with her. But my feeling are us as parents are supposed to be the grown ups so somethings we may not like what is happening but we have to learn to get on with them and over them.

I wasn't your fault the venue went bust and I believe you are saying your mum and dad are invited to the new venue wherever it may be but it will be on your terms not theirs.

Sometimes as parents we do get treated like cr*p not intentionally but it is in the job description and I feel personally we have to rise above it or lose our children and that I am not prepared to do so will back down every time. Even if feeling hurt I dry my tears and get on with it with a smile on my face. I get to see my children and grandchildren and know they are grown ups and I cannot dictate anymore what they do. I rant on my own or to friends

I hope you can resolve this. It is a special day and it would be nice if you could share it with your parents.

That is a lovely message, you sound like the best mum xxx My own mother wrote my sister out of her will last year because she got back with the boy they didn't approve of . They're still together and very happy. I just wish my parents could get over it and be happy for us. I mean what happens if this carries on until we have children, then what?

OMG! I really want to get married here!! http://weeweddings.co.uk/, we can take the dogs too!

Oh what a lovely place to get married. Looks gorgeous.