Thanks so much.

It really does mean a lot to know that there are people who will listen. I cant believe I was scared, like terrified to post!!!

I spent probably about 2 weeks unable to leave the house and now I have to have someone with me, or be going to meet someone, eg going to work (people there) or my OH or mum or friend with me.

But I may use this thread to vent if thats ok?

Thank you again its SO good to share.

If it helps you, theres no need for thanks.
So if i understand it right, you panic when your alone?

I think some things are locked in the back of our minds because at the time we really don,t want to think about it. Then for some reason it becomes unlocked. When my counsellor told me what she thought it was I just laughed and said well I coped with it at the time. But the more I think now she is right and it is like a jigsaw the pieces are all starting to come together. Don't know if that makes sense I do ramble sometimes.

Yeah it makes sense to me....
It is as if you think you coped when it happened, but mentally you didn't.
But is it you are in the same situtation and then the fear and panic takes over?
I wonder if there's any connection to make you go back to the original event.

Sorry I took so long to get back then my laptop cut me off and then I couldn't get back on. Even dogsey is against me. The situation I was in when they started was being abroad on holiday. And I just needed to be home with my family as I thought something would happen if I was not at home. Even though my children were all grown up. I just needed to be there. I just feel so safe in my home where everybody can find me. Not at all logical but that's my brain for you. I have to have someone with me when I go out and I just can't tell you why. Although I am now going places on my own now and then if I have a good day. I still can't wait to get back home. But the way I am trying to cope is one day at a time. If I have managed to go somewhere on my own that is a pat on the back for myself.

thanks for that I sometimes think it is related to stuff in my life but it bears no resemblence to situations or feelings when I have an attack.

Right now I am scared if I am on my own, but more scared if in a busy place with lots of people, like a supoermarket, a concert, aeven my office. I get a lump in my throat, I sweat, I breathe rapidly (even if i try to deep breathe) and I get very very scared.

Sometimes I just think I have lost the plot completely.

Yeah my PC kicked me out too....the worldis against us!!!

I know what you mean in a way. So far I have never had an attack at home, and it is such a relief to be in MY house with MY dog and MY bed and MY duvet. and sometimes I get home and just cry and cry and cry.

Feel really daft.

And poor Ben will develop an addiction to salt if he licks away anymore tears!!!

Benzmum you haven't lost the plot so don't worry. As I have said there are loads of people with it. If you have a broken leg you can get it fixed. But when it's in your mind it takes a while longer. Take it a day at a time. You will get there. When I feel an attack starting as in sweating out of breath or feeling dizzy. I imagine I am walking on a big soft fluffy cloud and it works. It is a matter of trying to focus on something else. Don't forget what I said nobody dies of a panic attack so just try and ride it out.

The only good thing on my being on seroxat is it has stopped me crying all the time so that's something.

thanks

I know you are right noone dies n#but it sure feels bl**dy awful. I must go anmd walk Ben. OH here away to go round the block. Thank you and Leo (I know Leo said no thanks needed) for listening and for your advice and thooughts. I think I will visit this thread often. Kind of as a support thing going on.

Goodnight guys.

Best wishes