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Ben Mcfuzzylugs
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Ben Mcfuzzylugs is offline  
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30-09-2012, 11:55 AM
Originally Posted by Dalmonda View Post
Before writing the original post I was starting to believe I was being un reasonable!
aww not even slightly - you are being amazingly tolerant and reasonable - he is lucky that you even put up with 1/2 of that ****
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Dalmonda
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30-09-2012, 01:01 PM
Originally Posted by greyhoundk View Post
OMG you sound just like me, i'd go just to piss her off as well !!!

Dalmonda i know its easy for people to say walk away, it always is looking in from the outside, its very frustrating for people to see you in this situation ! i've been shouting at the computer lol !

Seriously whats he going to be like once the baby is born ? are you going to put up with his crap then ? maybe he will grow some and realise what he has when the baby comes along, i hope he does but if not you need to do whats best for you and the baby - i'm sure you are more than capable of being on your own bringing up your baby x

Its easy for people on the outside yes, but sometimes its what I need/look for. For a while I've "played tennis with" What an Arsehole and I am a terrible girlfriend. My head has been telling me to leave but my heart won't let me. I guess for the sake of myself and my child I really need to set this straight. Whilst you're all "faceless friends" online, Its honest opinions! Sometimes, I need that to help me put the emotion aside.

When I wrote the thread I didn't really know where it was going. I guess I expected someone to tell me to man up and give me a solution. As it happens, its been better and REALLY good for my soul!

Thank you for everyone who has contributed and continues to contribute to my rollercoaster of a life. It's really helping me work though the most difficult part of my life
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tazer
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30-09-2012, 02:04 PM
Just read through this, my verdict:

She's a interfering , immature little bitch.
He's an immature arsehole of a loser.
You deserve much better, so does your baby. You just need to discover the strength you require to do what's necessary. I hope you can find it soon.
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Kerriebaby
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30-09-2012, 04:18 PM
First of all ((hugs))

I have been involved with an arsehole too (the emotional, and physical abuse, the cheating etc) its not easy leaving (especially as you have a little one on the way)

BUT...re read your OP again. Now imagine that is your child/sister/best friend writing. (Or one of us Dogsey folk) What would you tell her?


Life is far too short and too precious to waste it with some blithering idiot who cares more for a friend that he does for the lady he is supposed to love, cherish and protect.

I have to be brutal, get rid. He is not worthy of your love
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Lynn
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30-09-2012, 05:05 PM
Ok my tuppence worth. Pack a suitcase for him unbeknown to him hide it somewhere he won't find it.

When the next get together comes along go along but on your own and hide the suitcase somewhere in the ladies or something. When he dissapears very publicy away from your side to her side go get the suitcase put it down at his feet and tell him to f****** move in with her hold your head high and walk away. Make sure you are not going to be at the same house or you have changed the locks and don't let him back into your life.

When you are giving birth is he going to dissapear if she texts or calls ?
When this new little life enters this world you will need him every which way to be there for you it doesn't sound like that will be happening. You need to be in a better place emotionally before that happens on your own I would imagine must be better than being made to feel the way you are at the moment.
Yo have every right to be emotional and irrational just for the fact you are pregnant let alone all the other s*** he is putting you through.

Sorry for the expletives but like others have said this has made me so angry the way he is treating you and the way he is letting her treat you.
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Chris
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30-09-2012, 05:54 PM
Originally Posted by Dalmonda View Post
Tbh other people from the office have said as much. Its quite a tight knit team what with staff and their families. they do alot of social events. The boss now gives me personal invites via email, so they don't come( or not) through my partner. If I went to these events I am almost certain I would be on oneside of the room with friends and he'd be on the other with her. Thats what has stopped me just "turning up anyway".

I can see though, as the hormones get more and more out of control I will have her head on a block.
Mmmm, sorry, but your guy sounds horrible, but I guess he has his redeeming points or you wouldn't be posting.

At these social events, does the woman's partner go along? I'm just wondering what would happen if you talked to the partner all night??
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coventrycatfish
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30-09-2012, 09:25 PM
I've just seen this thread and read through it. It made me want to bang their heads together, and that's all I can say because what I'd like to follow that up with isn't printable.

My other half has Asperger’s Syndrome and REALLY does not make friends easily. When we first got together, a female friend of his (who is married to his best mate) wasn't happy about our relationship and tried to drive a wedge between us. Jon (who hates confrontation of any sort) stepped up to the mark and told her she was out of order. She was really annoyed with him for a while, but things calmed down and they are still friends. I have no problems with her, as far as I know, she has none with me.

You've recently had an operation and he wasn't there for you when you needed him.

You are expecting his child, and guess what? He's not there for you when you need/want him to be there.

He needs to grow up, get his head from up his a*se, and tell his clingy friend to respect you and your feelings or get lost. (Part of the reason I do not speak to my own father is because of some horrible things he said about Jon that made it back to me).

I had never been in a situation where everyone else I worked with was bringing their partners to a works do, but my partner wasn't welcome. However, if the situation had arisen, I wouldn't have bloody gone myself!

As someone else said (sorry, can't remember who it was) do you really want to be in this same situation in a year? In ten years? In 25 years, when your child has grown up and left home?

Staying together for the sake of your baby is a noble sentiment, but it's not always the best thing to do if you want to bring up your child in a secure and loving home. Children know when things aren't right between their parents. Trust me. I can't EVER remember my parents being happy together, but they didn't split up until after I left home because I couldn’t stand living with that atmosphere anymore.
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Jet&Copper
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01-10-2012, 07:20 PM
How you doing Dalmoda? X
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Dalmonda
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01-10-2012, 07:21 PM
Hanging in there, very difficult couple of days

Looking for somewhere (anywhere!) to live with the dogs.
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Jet&Copper
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01-10-2012, 07:56 PM
If you need to vent, or need a virtual *hug* you know where we are

Good luck with the search - if you need help with anything I can do from here let me know xx
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