Oh my God, it is disgusting to treat a person that way. I am so angry after reading your post ... how dare they, it is neglect.

I'm so sorry, H, that you are both going through this.

Oh Helena - how awful for your Mum and for you.

I do not subscribe to the general over-worked and under-paid scenario for nurses giving frankly poor service I am afraid. I know that they are often busy - isn't everyone on their jobs these days. Being busy is not an excuse for patients going without food and basic care. If they cannot provide this level of basic care - they really should not be doing the job.

I know there are some wonderful nurses out there who really do make a difference to the patients on the wards, but there are also bad ones (as there are in all professions). I do not believe we should make excuses for bad nurses by saying they are overworked and not paid enough money and that makes it alright.

No excuses for not being good at your job (whatever it may be ...)

Lynne - that stew sounds lovely by the way ...

Hope you find your Mum is good spirits today H.
Gentle hugs from me xxx

Thanks all, I'm glad you agree with me, that it was out of order the way he spoke to me!!! I'm still livid about that!

Anyways, I just rang and nicely asked the receptionists, if she could please ask the sister for me, whether it would be possible (grovel, grovel!Lol!) to come in at lunchtime and feed my mother, because their staff nurse last night was concerned that she hadn't eaten at all yesterday, I couldn't get anything into her either, and she is having an operation tomorrow. She came back with "she's eaten this morning, blah, blah, blah, and it's hospital policy that they like to control the feeding times themselves, they have it all in hand now and would make sure she had TWO nurses to help her at lunchtime!!!! SO, I said, well that's good, because I was getting very concerned that she would have gone without food for 3 days before having her op, and obviously, with a broken arm she could not feed herself, and I thought I would offer to help them out!!! She then, stuttered and stammered upon hearing the fact that I could actually be right in my helping them out bit, and turned very nice and said how kind it was of me to offer, but it was all in hand NOW!!!! Grrrrr!

That's a good idea about the home made food, and I had already thought of this myself, and I'm going to make her a nice chicken casserole, she loves her potatoes and veg, and I'll be taking that up with me tonight in a stew, but you can guess what can't you, she won't be allowed to eat tonight, bet my bottom dollar!!! I will contest that though, because the other night the doctor told me she would have been starved from midnight if she was going to be operated on on Monday, so there, they can take it outta that! Lol!

Thanks guys, tonight will be a very big night for me, I will stay longer and hold her hand and hug her lots!xxxxx

Sorry to hear Helena that you have had more problems they sound so familiar from the times Mum has been in Hospital. I amaze myself sometimes that I manage to keep my mouth shut. Like you say they are the priority so you have too sometimes.

This happened to Dad 11 years ago he was so ill he wasn't going to come home. They left his food on the table at the bottom of the bed he couldn't get it he didn't want or need much but he did want to eat a little. We started to take food in for him and feed him ourselves. when Gill and I get together we make a formidable pair so they didn't dare argue.

(((Hugs))). xx

Hi H - If she is being operated on tomorrow (and as it is planned it won't be before 9am) she can eat up until midnight definitely. If she is on the afternoon list she can also have a light breakfast in the morning too before 8 - but they should plan for that for her and be able to give her a little something before she goes nil by mouth ...

Stew sounds lovely xx

I've seen it myself Lynn when I was once in there. A dear old lady opposite my bed had been rushed in, in the middle of the night with a perforated ulcer so they operated, and the next day, on the doctor's rounds I heard him say that she could have sips of water, BUT, the nurses never gave her ANY all day, so in the evening I took it upon myself to go over to her and give her some sips of water, that she couldn't possibly reach! Even though I had already mentioned it to the nurses that she was thirsty and I saw it on her overhead blackboard, they just put it on her table, and there she was, lying flat out right up the other end, just like your poor old dad was!

I doubt whether I'll be able to keep my big gob shut a 2nd time tonight if he starts on me again though xxxx

Thanks for that Jo, I'll have that one ready then for when they confront me for feeding her this deliscious chicken stew I'm making, I've thrown everything in there, and I might share it with her myself coz it'll be fab! I know she's gonna eat this anyway and it'll give her the strength she needs for tomorrow.xxxx

My trick is because I know it upsets Mum and she thinks they will make her life ten times worse if we say anything, is to wait till outside of the ward and approach someone or the person if they are at the Nursing station then have your say. Must say up until now there have been no repercussions.

Like you I cannot stay quiet for long I mean for goodness sake they are old and frail and it puts to shame the good work the majority of the Nursing Staff hand out.

Good luck. X

so sorry to hear about your mum Helen

and even worse the way she is being treated in the hospital

dont get me started on hospitals when i was in for a month i would have come out a size 6 if it wasnt for my hubby bringing me food in

the food was terrible and if i happened to be outside having a fag or even in another part of the hospital having tests done they would not save my food at all, they would just take it back

and hubby started bringing me food in and they used to make funny comments like "who do you think you are?" aint our food good enough for you and also that food aint good for you

and also there were patients who couldnt feed themselves and their food was just left at the bottom of their bed on their trays to go cold. a couple of times i helped the patient and got really told off by the nurse who i then told there should be someone to help feed them, they didnt like me very much as you can imagine

when i was discharged i went stright to PL and made a complaint about certain nurses and the ward

maybe that is why they wont have me back

Lol! It wouldn't upset my mum Lynn, it will just make her snigger thinking Helen's off again!!! She knows me, she knows I speak my mind (they must have heard me moaning last night anyway, coz the lady in the bed opposite did coz she called me over to tell me she used to be a nurse at the other hospital and said some are good, some are bad, and some are very, very bad, like the girl who tried to palm me off with somebody's half eaten dinner!!!) I realised afterwards, that she had actually gone into the wrong side of that cabinet, i.e. the empty plates v the new meals, of which there was a choice of 2 around that other side where I finally got mine!)

I noticed they've dosed her up on heavy painkillers which of course she needs, but if I hear they've given her that darn Tramadyl again there'll be big trouble tonight! She was slightly confused last night, coz there was a nurse with bright, really bright orange hair, and mum said they wanted her to dye her hair that colour but she said "no"!!!! You can't help but laugh at her ya know! Good job really Lynn, otherwise I'd be all stressed out yet again, but those days are over, I'm like you know, I deal with it as it comes, knowing I having got the whole burden now with the care home doing their bit, and of course, I have Zena and Georgie to take my mind completely off it out in the middle of nowhere!

If she gets through today painfree I'll be well happy, coz tomorrow it will be sorted and hopefully, you never know, she might even be able to actually use it, just like she did with her new hip, without anymore pain. I hate to see her in pain like this looking so thin and frail, and I don't want her getting all depressed again just as she perked right up over the past few weeks.

You're not bovvered though Jackie are you!!!!! That's the last place you want to go back to I'm sure!!!

Terrible isn't it! I was only saying the other night how lovely the nurses all were in the assessment surgical ward where we first saw her and Dave said that's only because they come and go in there, they don't have them for long do they, and he said, wait till they get her in the other ward where they're fed up with them all, then you'll notice a difference, and sadly he was right!

The fact that she's in a care home now, might mean they will discharge her sooner than if she still lived with us, so hopefully, after tomorrow's op, she might get out of there by Saturday if she's lucky. If not, if she spots a zimmer anywhere near her, she'll be discharging herself if I know her!!!