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1cutedog
Dogsey Senior
1cutedog is offline  
Location: Fife, Scotland
Joined: Feb 2010
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Female 
 
19-05-2010, 02:14 PM

Separation Anxiety. Desperately need help

Sorry this is a duplicate subject thread but I didn't want to take over Bitkins thread and I really need some help with this.

My dog suffers seperation anxiety and barks loudly when I'm out and works herself up into a right old state. She's not normally very destructive, chews up tissues or carrier bags or the mail if it comes when I'm out.

Because her barking is loud and echoes up the stairwell in the flats I live in I decided today to close the livingroom door when I went out, had to tie it to another one as the hasp doesn't work so doesn't close properly. Came home 45 minutes later to torn up door and surrounds, presumably done while she was trying to get out.

One of the chairs was wet, leather suite so I saw the drips, don't know if she'd had a drink and still had a mouthful when jumping about on the chair or she had weed a bit with anxiety.

I live on my own so do have to go out sometimes to the shops or something, although often I'll take her with me and tie her up outside depending which shop I'm going to which I don't like doing but don't feel I have any option.

I've had her 6 months now and it's not getting any better I can't even nip out to the shops for 10 minutes without either the worry of leaving her or the worry of tieing her up outside although I know it's not her fault. I now get my shopping delivered, hooray for internet shopping but do need to get milk or bread in between times and apart from that never go anywhere or do anything without her. I can leave toys or treats for her but she won't touch them until I come back.

I take her to the park in the morning for not less than an hour and same again in the afternoon, sometimes we're out for 2 hours at a time depending if there are lots of other dogs for her to play with. We might then go out again to walk to the local shop while I nip in for bread or milk, and then into the garden for 10 minutes or so at night. Luckily I have a couple of friends I can take her to when I visit but have no one to leave her with or sit with her when I go out.

She's a dog who likes to be outside the whole time and never gets tired so I have the worry that I'm not the right owner for her and that she would be better with someone who has a huge garden and lots of other dogs to play with. That's not an I am looking for a reason to get rid of her paragraph I really do wonder if she would be better of elsewhere, that maybe the life I give her is too quiet and boring for her.

Her bed is next to mine but often she comes through to the livingroom to sleep on her couch here during the night or goes to the bedroom during the day when I'm in the livingroom so it's not as if she feels she has to be in the same room as me all the time I am at home.

Someone gave me a crate a while ago which she used to sleep in. Tried leaving her in it but she ripped the bedding at the door end as though she was trying to dig herself out of it when I went out and I reckoned she was more distressed so haven't left her in it again when going out.

I don't know if this is why she ended up being in rescue, she looked as though she had been well looked after, well trained, could sit, give a paw and come back when called, didn't mess in the house and normally isn't destructive when left.

She was of course all exited when I came back today and I was rotten for the first time as I just ordered her to her bed without making any fuss of her.

Is there any hope for us. Is it seperation anxiety or just she loves being outside and resents me when I got out alone?
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montysmum
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19-05-2010, 03:07 PM
I am in no way an expert so I am just trying to think what I would do in this situation - it may well all be rubbish so bear that in mind when reading!

I would get another crate for her, have it in the living room, and leave the door open. Start to introduce her to it slowly - put some really tasty treats in it for her to find. Do that every hour for a day or so so that she gets to know that there is something good in there.

When she is doing that ok, repeat, but shut the door, with you next to her. If she starts to whine, scratch, see if you can distract her with food and asking her to sit, then reward her when she does. Let her out, and then repeat every hour.

Next step, do the above but go into the kitchen for a few mins, and then keep building up the time she is on her own.

Maybe putting something of yours in the crate with her so she has your scent will help? When I leave Bobby in his crate when I go out I give him a carrot to chew on, or a Kong filled with various tasty bits to keep him occupied for a while

I wonder if it would be better for her to have a designated sleeping area rather than free movement in the house of a night - maybe that would make her feel more secure?

As I say, this is all guesswork on my part, but hopefully a doggy exert will be able to help you with it soon.
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ClaireandDaisy
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19-05-2010, 03:51 PM
The advice given to me (which seems to work with most dogs) was to desensitise the dog slowly.
You walk out of the door, not giving any signal at all that you`re going (don`t put your coat on etc.). Return immediately, ignoring dog. Continue to do this at odd moments.
When the dog seems OK with this, stay out there for a few seconds. Increase slowly.
This does take a long time, but it does work with most dogs. You can also add a DAP diffuser in the house and look at other ways to calm the dog. (long lead walks etc.)
I`ve never used a crate, but I would be a bit wprried that this masks the anxiety rather than curing it and the dog may well exhibit other stress behaviours - self harm etc..
The last dog I had with very bad SA was OK if left with other dogs. You could maybe borrow a friend`s dog to see if this works? (Provided they get on of course)
ps - 6 months is early days in the life of a rescue dog. Hang on in there.
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angied
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19-05-2010, 03:54 PM
my neighbours dog was exactly the same he house was shredded and he howled for hours, she got an enoumous crae and put him in that hes happy there and feels safe when she goes out now
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IsoChick
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19-05-2010, 04:25 PM
I would start as if you were training a young puppy to be left alone...

So, as above. Leave your dog for mere seconds/minutes, without warning, but also without putting coat/shoes on etc.

Dogs are incredibly adept at realising what you're doing. My two can recognise the difference in me putting on work shoes and coat, to 'mucking around' shoes and coat and will act accordingly.

You need to very slowly lengthen the amount of time you can leave your dog for, and it will be only minutes at first. You could even put your coat and shoes on etc and then do jobs round the house, so she doesn't get anxious thinking you're going out etc.

If you do want to start using a crate again, you don't have to lock her in it, just make it a lovely, cosy, warm place that she can go in, with no pressure to be shut in there.

Hang on in there, it'll be OK!
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Helena54
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19-05-2010, 06:10 PM
All excellent advice above, but if this is an older dog, as opposed to a puppy, and it's possible that you can take her with you until she's settled in more at home, then I'd be inclined to do that quite honestly, along with all of the advice above, I'd be doing all that at home too! Oh it must be a nightmare, and you could have the neighbours complaining next which won't help. Keep practicing all of the above at home, but take her with you if/when you can and tie her up outside a shop if she's happy with that as well for the time being. Some rescues take a very long time to trust anybody again, and what must go through their head when their new owner disappears like that God only knows, so she has to know that you will always come back, so little by little does it. Good luck with her, I'd hate for you to have to send her back just yet.
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1cutedog
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19-05-2010, 06:10 PM
Thanks very much for the replies. We moved out of a house with a garden and glass doors which she looked out of about 4 weeks ago and moved into this upper flat. I thought watching people passing by the other house encouraged her to bark and the first couple of times I left her here on her own, full wood doors, about 10 days ago she didn't bark, just tore up some tissues and carrier bags. I thought she was 'cured' in a way

I was thinking of getting the crate out again and using it but maybe keep it in the livingroom and thinking of moving 'her' couch into the spare room so she has to lie in the crate instead. She always slept in the crate at night in our last place although she slept on the couch in the livingroom when I was in there on the pc. I thought it was good news that she was moving into the livingroom during the night to sleep on 'her' couch as that showed she didn't mind being away from me.

I'm not sure if using a crate when I go out is a good idea or not. When I first got her and left her I put her in the bedroom, she was in her crate but it wasn't shut and she ripped the draught excluder from the bedroom door and got the door open. The time I left her in the crate she was in an awful state when I came back so I thought she maybe doesn't like small spaces. Today was quite bad as she's either bitten or used her claws to try and open the livingroom door. The door's in a right state with the wood really badly clawed or chewed so it looks as though she doesn't like being shut in anywhere but it could just be she likes to be near the front door where I am going to come back in again.

I'll start from the very beginning of nipping out the door and straight back in and I'll give the crate a go as she seemed happy enough sleeping in it before. I'll maybe move the crate to the bedroom at night so that it's her bed and after a while will try shutting the door and see how she is and I'll also get some DAP.

She often lies stretched out when she's sleeping and can't do that in the crate so should I be looking for a bigger one for her?

I had been considering getting another dog for company for her before I was chucked out of my last house. Not sure how the landlords would feel about me getting another dog, I'm the first tenant with a dog but they have fallen in love with her. What if the other dog copied her and started all the barking and howling as well. I also don't know if I could get another dog, the rescue places would probably not give me one as I live in a flat now and not a house with a garden.

I'll try all these things with her. I've explained to her that if I was going to leave her for good I could have just moved house without her but it's like she's still not convinced.
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Bitkin
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19-05-2010, 06:35 PM
Hi, and I do really feel for you as you can imagine as I am going through a similar thing myself with a rescue dog. It's strange isn't it, because many dogs with SA follow their owners absolutely everywhere all day long, but ours don't - they are quite happy just as long as they know you are somewhere in the house!
Obviously I cannot offer advice, because I am seeking it myself but if you read my latest post on my thread you will see the progress being made, and it may help.

Don't give up, and take heart from some of the experiences and advice from the people on here.
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1cutedog
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19-05-2010, 07:09 PM
Helena54 thanks, she's only just over a year I think, the kennels told me she was over 2 but no older than 3 ha ha but she's definitely not. She barks when she's tied up outside the shops but in one way I don't mind that because on the few occasions she's quietened down I've rushed out in case someone has stolen her, then again it's very stressful listening to her. Sometimes I want to shout at the people to hurry up

I doubt I'll be sending her back. I believe that when you adopt a dog it's like adopting a child and they are yours for life but I admit to thinking the past few days that my life would be so much easier without her.

Most of the neighbours here work all day and if I do go out and leave her it's not every day and usually only for 1/2 an hour or so so I'm hoping no one will say anything.

Bitkin, I'll reply on your thread. I was almost posting about mine on yours but once I started typing I couldn't stop and would have taken over from you.
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Bitkin
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19-05-2010, 07:12 PM
Hehe 1cutedog.....I would not mind you taking over the thread because it's all in the same cause
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