Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but accidents do happen. You have learned from your mistake and rectified your fences etc. You have apologized, accepted responsibility and paid their vet bill. I don't see what else you can do.

I can understand that I would be very shocked and angry if one of my dogs was attacked when I was out for a walk minding my own business, but I think most reasonable people would start to calm down a bit after the first shock had worn off.

I think I would be polite but distant, and let them come round in their own time if they want to.

How long ago did these two incidents happen?

I would be inclined to not make any more effort towards the couple, hopefully after some time when their dog is healed and the anger has faded things may be more amicable.

You're right - although just a technical point. We sold a piece of land to a builder, who built a house, and sold it to our neighbours. We were fully aware of what we could potentially be letting ourselves in for, which is why we have always bent over backwards to be amenable, welcoming and such good friends. We always make sure that the driveway is kept clean, clear of weeds, cut back any overhanging plants very regularly, never ever block the drive even for a second, and generally do everything we can to keep the wheels turning as it were.

There is absolutely no way that the dogs can get out now, the fence is now nearly 6 foot, the gates are that height plus, there is a gap underneath the dividing fence of just one inch, so there is no way that any dog can hurt another - but it is wide enough for Her to ram a broomstick or whatever it was under the fence and hurt Ben's muzzle.

True, the fence before was only about 4' 6" with a drop down the other side of about 6 foot or more. But that has been sufficient for 15 years to keep in a dog almost twice as tall as Ben, who could jump like a gazelle, plus next door's GSP who we all know are very athletic and good jumpers, plus Tai who is almost as tall as the aforesaid gazelle and himself can jump impressive heights. However, clearly I was wrong to assume that was sufficient, as was demonstrated by Ben.

Believe me, there is no way in a million years she is regretting the breakdown in our friendship! Would you go round your village and call someone an f'ing come up next Tuesday? I think not. It is disgusting and tantamount to slander. However, I am prepared to put all that behind me and shake hands and agree to live in peace and harmony, but every time I have made an approach, I just get abuse hurled in my face - the latest being that I am f'ing arrogant!! As I say, her husband I think we could shake hands with, but with her it is impossible. I am very sad as I say because of all the good times we have had together. It is so unnecessary, dogs fight all the time, no damage was done, although the poor boy must have been absolutely scared witless, the injury was paltry and certainly did not justify "the bill of 700£ and rising!". Ridiculous fuss over a skin scrape, which nonetheless would have required suturing, ab's etc., but certainly not daily visits back and forth. I am at a loss as to understand why she hates us so much, and why she should want poor Ben destroyed. it is totally over the top, but I do concede it must have been very scarey indeed for all concerned.

Mmm, quite a gap, about 4 months I would say. Clearly Ben had been waiting for a chance to get what he saw as his own back. I hate to anthropomorphise, but Ben's body language said everything. His target was the BL, he was not interested at all in the golden retriever, or the humans, despite the fact one beat him so hard over the back with a walking stick that the skin was broken and clearly he was bruised. Their dog would have healed a long time ago, I would even go so far as to say by now the hair would have grown back and I doubt there is even a scar. It really was an enormous amount of fuss over a very small wound, although doubtless painful at the time. I feel totally dreadful about it, as I adore this dog, he and his friend are absolutely gorgeous dogs and I am devastated that this happened. I have decided I will leave things be until christmas, and then I will make a gesture of Peace & Goodwill towards them at that appropriate time. Too much has been said to be able to forgive or put the clock back, but I truly hope we can shake hands and behave like the civilised human beings we are. I can't see her anger ever fading though - this incident took place about 4 or 5 weeks ago, and she is still hurling 4 letter words over the fence and ramming broomsticks under the gap at the bottom of the fence as hard as she possibly could with no idea of which dog she might be hurting - presumably she means no harm towards Tai, he wouldn't hurt a fly - so Ben is her target, but there is no way she can see what she was doing, it was just pure blind rage and hatred towards my dog. I just don't understand it. Next door's GSD on the other side attacked Hal several times, virtually scalped him on one occasion, and on another occasion Hal bit through his foot in an attempt to stop him biting through his throat. Never did we fall out, we had words, then shook hands, kissed and made up. We agreed we should be extra vigilant at keeping the GSD and Hal apart, and our friendship continued unabated. Expensive vet bills were incurred on both sides, but the sensible owners that we were we agreed this is 2 entire males fighting over possession of a bitch, the kennel mate of next door's GSD. On each occasion the trouble was sparked by the bitch making overtures to Hal. All perfectly understandable and reasonable.

What an awful situation - it must have been really horrible for you and I sympathise. As others have said; I understand how they must have felt - the fear, the worry, etc. Even if the wound isn't life-threatening, Ben did inflict an injury and leaping over the fence like that would have been shocking. I feel now this lady is determined to take things to the nth degree . I wouldn't try to placate her - I'd just be cool and 'businesslike' - but if it were me, I would make sure the garden is 3000% secure and keep Ben on a lead when out if he is prone to being dog aggressive.

I know you probably won't like that but you've unfortunately seen that you can't tell if or when he might have a go and it seems this lady is gunning for him, so waiting for him to "step out of line" - it isn't worth the risk.

I really don't think you should underestimate how upset someone else might be about an injury to their beloved dog. I would not airily dismiss as 'just a skin scrape' any injury to any dog of mine that required vet treatment and stitching. She might have been really scared by all this. And I don't subscribe to the view that 'dogs fight all the time'.

Have you thought there might be an element of them now thinking you consider 'you still own the place and can do what you like'?

I really really hope you can get it sorted amicably. I guess you are aware that, nowadays, if you want to sell your house, you are obliged to come clean about any disputes with neighbours especially over shared boundaries, access and drives etc. and can be sued in future if you fail to do so.

I'd just hate to live in the situation you now find yourself in, I'd dread meeting them on the 'shared' bit or even having to cross paths.

Am I right in assuming you didn't have Ben when they moved in and/or when you had the 'good' relationship with them? And or that the dogs they have now are not dogs they had at first?

You know sometimes all it takes is to REALLY put yourself in the other person's place and try hard to imagine how they feel. Your dogs were loose on property these neighbours had a perfect right to be on without fearing for their safety or that of their leashed dogs. It's no different than if your dog ran onto another neighbours drive and had a go at their dog on their property really. It's their drive too and they don't have the option NOT to use it.

If it had ended after that incident it might have returned to normal. But, for another, even nastier, incident involving the same problem (your dogs) to occur a few months later - well - I know how I'd be feeling if I was your neighbour. And now this nonsense with them being able to get their snouts under the fence.

If I was you I'd just be feeling VERY guilty very 'could kick myself' for not keeping my dogs leashed. Very daft for assuming anything less than a 6ft fence represented secure fencing for big dogs (hell, my GSD could easily get over even a 6ft fence).

Must be hell to keep hearing bits and bobs of what she is saying about you to others when you are out and about and just throwing the blame back at her doesn't help. I think your original attitude of not retaliating in kind to taunts and insults and taking the higher ground was the right one. Easier said than done tho.

I'm still concerned about this gap UNDER your fencing? Why on earth do you need it? It's obviously caused yet another THIRD incident really. With your dog getting injured this time. She is hardly likely to ever relax and just 'forget about your dogs' when she can see them and actually get to them - it's probably just serving as a permanent reminder of the nastiness.

If you were to suggest some sort of mediation meeting on neutral ground (local pub?) or to do what is usually advised when there is too much hostility for face to face discussion and WRITE to her - and she then still basically told you to eff off and die - well you would at least have the satisfaction of knowing you'd done all you could.

You sound very unhappy about it (isn't easy to forget about it when the problem is next door and on shared bits too) and let's face it, she too must be very unhappy about it - happy people do not go around cursing and shouting and poring over the same problem to everyone they meet and vowing revenge and retribution.

I can understand them being upset about the incident and it must have been very frightening.
However I personally can't understand her reaction towards you because you say you were friends before the incident.
If I was walking kaya on lead and an off lead aggressive dog came over and savagely attacked her I would be furious with the person responsible. But if it was my friend or a stranger for that matter and a genuine mistake especially in the case where the dog was behind fence and they were unaware the dog could get out plus they offered to pay vet bills I would be more than understanding. Obviously I'd be upset over my dog but I wouldn't blame anyone or hold a grudge for a genuine mistake. I'd sure as hell want to talk about how we would prevent it from happening again though.
That's just me anyway, everyone reacts different. I'd just leave her to it and get on with my own business

Not only do I like it LS, I'm doing it!! The garden is TOTALLY secure and Ben is always on the lead except where we can see for miles that it is safe to let him off. There is no way that a repeat of what has happened will happen again, she can see into our garden from her house and can see for herself the extraordinary and very expensive lengths that we have gone to to keep Ben in ... there is far more to this than meets the eye, but as you say, best we keep our relationship strictly business, ie totally ignore her!

Good for you; don't give her any excuse.

I know, I totally agree, I just cannot understand it. My dogs - both present and past - have all suffered worse injuries than that inflicted on her lab, believe me when I say it was really a very trivial skin wound which had the dog been mine, I certainly would n ot have gone to the vet. I would have bathed it with tea tree oil, and left it to nature to heal. But it was her right to take her dog to a vet, and understandably because it was a Sunday the call out fee was high, but I believe the vet milked the situation, having been told that we had insurance, and I don't like that. I am not a mug, and I do not like being taken for one. It was not necessary to repeatedly take the dog back to the vet for such a trivial wound, but of course the vet would n ot turn away business, you cannot blame them for that!

Were things the opposite way round, I would be extremely annoyed about what had happened, but would accept that these things sometimes happen between entire males - especially bearing in mind the stupidity of walking across someone's drive in full knowledge that 2 dogs were loose on it! The sensible thing would have been to call out "I'm here, please could you put Ben and Tai in the house before I walk across". This is just pure commonsense, dogs are territorial and they do not understand about legal rights of way. Owning dogs is about responsibility, and we were in the wrong for not having the dogs properly under control on our drive, and she was in the wrong for walking across the drive in full knowledge that our dogs were not properly under control. But instead of accepting all this, she just has gone totally over the top to the point where we cannot speak without her using the f word. At high volume. As far as I am concerned, enough's enough. I will just ignore them from now on.