could she be trying to make amends? no matter what you do you may feel guilty or that it was the wrong choice, but i would go just to see you nan, but it only you can make that decision, you can always make an early dart saying you are tired and not sleeping well ect
ATD x

Yeah i really think she could be.

But my hubby says it's not right, she's doing it on her terms, as usual she's in control, in her territory etc and it will just be like the last time i went home trying to make amends - the nasty remarks about my pregnancy, she made 3 in total, won't go into them, then she cried, then she shouted, and we swiftly left, I was actually expecting an apology, silly me! We were on our way to our god daughters christening and was in bits when that was my attempt to make amends, and I vowed never again.

your stuck between a rock and a hard place becuase not sorting it is obviously causing you upset.
could you meet up for a drink/meal on your terms prior to you nan coming? or suggest you take your nan for a meal rather than going to your mums??
ATD x

My hubby suggested this, even just to the local pub for lunch would be better than being in mums house, i might ask her

I agree with the meeting on neutral territory if you feel your mum may be trying to make amends. That way you will see how things pan out and if it is causing you all this stress it may help. I know how ill I felt so had to make the first move so being pregnant in that position is really what you odn't need.

Have a think and put that option across although I have a feeling I know what the answer may be. If you do decide to go to your mums have your excuses ready why you can't stay as long as she may be expecting and if it starts to kick off just calmly walk away. (Hard I know) but the best way.

You will then know other attempts she may make will not work and she is not prepared to back down on how she feels. Fair enough but neither should you be expected too.

Good luck whatever you decide. X

could always say be nice for your nan to go out if she doesnt get out a lot at home? either way good luck
ATD x

I've asked if we are taking Nanna out for sunday dinner to the oak, the local. For all i know it might be the original plan, very possible. Via text, yes we don't talk on the phone since .

My sisters fella has suggested we pick them up from the train station so I arrive with them, and leave with them. If we're going to the pub, we'll just head straight there. Perfect.




Another thing, if I do go, should i take my lovely wedding photos? (the wedding they didn't want to hear anything about, nor have even asked how it went, they don't even know if it has happened for definate in fact!)........ Well i'm sure my nanna would really like to see them.....*whistles*

Oh, well that's that. She says, No, it's easier if we eat here, time wise, your Dads doing a 200 miles round trip to get your nanna here.

bonkers.

In other words she expects you there on her terms. Hmmmm.

I am sorry that you are still having problems, I replied on the wedding thread back then and was really sorry to hear that they never did make it to your perfect wedding (and let's face it, the day was about you and your hubby, not your parents and great Aunt Maude twice removed etc etc)

If it was me, I would not go. I understand what Brierley and Jackbox are saying and it is true, she may be trying to make amends and you will never find out if you don't go. But, you are already very stressed about this, it will be totally on your mother's territory and she will therefore be more in charge of the situation. A neutral venue would be easier I think.

I don't think I would take the wedding photos, you will only feel snubbed if they refuse to look at them, if they are trying to build bridges and ask if they can see some photos, you can always post / email them.

At the end of the day it is your decision, you don't want to go and the person who knows you best, your hubbie, obviously has serious doubts. I can see it being a very tense meeting, tense isn't what you need right now.

Good luck with whatever you decide.