I think quite a few of us have negative opinions on Gretna. I don't think I would of called my own wedding tacky but it wasn't really what I expected. Mmmm thinking about maybe it was a bit tacky?

Have you been and had a look? If not then definitely do so! xx

I had a big wedding paid for my parents and it was my dad who was worse than mum, my dad was adding people to list and mum was removing them!!

I wasnt hugely bothered other than venue as i wanted a castle and the one we went to only seated 50 so we had our close family ~&friends and then invited everyone else from the reception onwards. Dad wasnt very pleased but eventually realised i wasnt changing my mind.

we had a lovely day but am sure hubby would rather have run away!

Could you not get married on the banks of a loch or something with your dogs and parents as witnesses ?

Thank you all, no i haven't looked at Gretna, just looked it up on the website really, uh oh! It's great I'm hearing lots of people's experiences, thank you xxx I don't know, will I be upset if I feel the ceremony is a tacky let down, it's hard to know how I'll feel really.

My Dad is furious because it's Gretna and that's where people 'run away from their families' he's taken that as a real kick in the teeth but I've told him, no, it's just because we can do it on our way to Scotland for our little break, and I'd prefer it there to a registry office, that's all!

Aw your suggestion sounds perfect! Can you just do that, get married anywhere? Why aren't more people doing it, Moobli did a similar thing?

Bless your hubby, my poor fella has never really wanted a big do but said from the beginning he would do what I wanted, well, what my parents wanted for me. When the venue went bust Paul said he felt a huge sense of relief I felt awful for him, so that really made me realise we need to do it our way, and things happen for a reason.

My father sent me an awful email last night He is still disappointed and angry (they haven't rung me yet!!!!!!) he made out I was an awful person, and I'm not, I try so hard to be a good person to everybody, I care so much about the things that matter...I can't believe he said what he did. My oh is fuming and wants to ring him later. I told him no, we need to leave it a few days.

Oh I'm sorry to read that, at the beginning of this thread I thought it was your Mum who was the one who wanted a big 'formal' ceremony with all the trimmings.

I guess it is a bit of a problem when both Mum and Dad are being inflexible. Don't really know what else to say. If I was your dad I would be rehersing my speech for the 'party' latter this year and including lots of jokes about Gretna also IMO as long as all the familly and close relatives get together to celebrate you two getting married, lots of photos, and all that stuff, then that is the important thing in my view.

Hope you can get it sorted after a suitable break of a few days to let things cool down. Won't post anymore 'cos it's your family and your decision entirely what to do. Just hope that where ever you get married and whatever the ceremony that you stay married and happy for the rest of your lives.

Yeah, it is my mum, initially she seemed to be emotionally blackmailing me with the whole "How can you upset your father like this" and now, 2 days on my Dad is telling me he is really upset, but honestly, I don't believe him, mum is putting him up to it, he's too soft and has never had the b*lls to go against her - I spoke to him on the phone about it first when I told him the new plans and he sounded shocked and the first thing he said was "your mum will go mad" Hmmmm.

Growing up, my Dad was forever giving us backhanders, cash here and there, "don't tell your mum", ringing us in secret about things he disagreed with mum over.

Really, really, really fed up.

Hey us mums always forgive in the end and sure it work out all ok for you , sometimes we have expectations but in my view my daughters happiness is first and foremost and hope your momma will get to that point too , stick to what you want and convince your mum its what makes you really happy, sure she will get it in the end

Hope you have a fab day , you have a good guy who is going to make you really happy , thats all that matters, live life for you and not for others , if you can sort that one out early in life it will bring lots of happiness !

What a lovely reply, thank you, I do hope I sort it out with mum, I always feel guilty living my life for me and not my mum/dad, but from now on I'm going to have to, and I think I'm beginning to see that you're right when you say if you can sort that one out early in life it will bring lots of happiness, thank you xxxx

The marriage is more important than the wedding, a wedding is just one day.

If I were you I would try to find a compromise with your parents.

I would Joto but they won't talk, they are so angry!



Still no contact all weekend, and just received this email from my Dad, a few mins ago.


"After all the hurtful things you have said about your mum, I don't know how you can even think we would want to be involved in an 'alternative' wedding day. There is no more I want to say.
Dad."

(I only called her controlling -she is!- and said sending me the list of her friends names to phone round when she has been dealing with these 10 poeple off the guest list who I have never met all along was cruel and petty - it was!)

Looks like that's it then, just Paul and I (and my sister god bless her, she's been amazing) Actually i'm not crying, i'm shaking, with anger i think more than anything?

They are being stubborn mules aren't they I don't understand how parents can be so hurtfull sometimes but have had experience .it seems nothing will change certain peoples minds even if it upsets the people they love,it's their way or nothing. I would still hope they will come round in time ,but know some people are to proud to back down.Try and keep calm and if they don't come round to the new plans and you have tried to include them,then they should be ashamed of themselves, a classic case of the parents acting like kids who can't get their own way.