I have a dilemma

Some of you may remember late last year a friend of mine had a black lab called Paddy who use to play with Ollie he was just turned 7 and had cancer and sadly had to be pts towards the end of last year.

Anne and her partner Bob were devastated.

Anne has had to go back to work full time so Bob took over the walking of Paddy he is elderly and very unsteady on his feet and we all use to worry about him.. I often offered to walk Paddy but he preferred to do it himself.

At the beginning of the year Natalie who does a lot of rehoming mentioned about a chocolate lab bitch around 9 months old that Anne was interested in I asked how Bob felt as he had always said when Paddy went he couldn't manage another dog he never let Paddy off over the field as he knew if he run off which he did sometimes he could not run after him, Anne was often over the field with him off lead till she had to go back to work, so it was down to their Neighbour to give Paddy a run with their dogs when they had the time, I hasten to add they didn't mind doing this.

I saw Anne this morning on her way to work coming back with Ollie from our walk. She has asked if I will have a look for black labs, she hasn't a lot of money not sure if she wants rescue as she wants to train it her way and obviously the bigger the dog the more pulling power it has and poor Bob will struggle.

Personally I feel this is all wrong. Anne will walk the dog weekends. I know when Paddy turned up Ann's daughter bought him after they lost their elderly lab and Bob said he would not want another one after Paddy.

I agreed with Natalie when she told me about the rescue lab that Anne is a fair weather walker which wasn't a fair comment as before she had to return to work she was always out walking him often we walked together. I meant to say she does not have the time now and I worry about Bob. I did see him yesterday walking down the lane as it is the first decent day we have had in along time. Maybe they are now thinking they can manage another lab.

I am not sure whether to say I cannot find any to fit their criteria. My views are they should buy from a good breeder or rescue but if money is tight and they don't want to go down the rescue route maybe that is my get out clause that I can't find anything suitable.

I feel really bad as I know the emptiness a beloved dog leaves and I truly feel sorry but I really feel this is not right and I am not even sure if Bob will know till it turns up on the door step.

I know in my heart that I am going to make the excuse I cannot find a pup within their budget and my beliefs in dog breeding will not allow me to direct them to the local papers or free ads. I did ask Anne how much she had and she said not a lot as little as possible.

I am interested to know what you would do ? Do you think I am doing the right thing or am I being mean ?

Sorry for the long and rambling post.

Hi i would just tell her what you think, obviously in a tactful way. If you know the lady quite well that should be not too much of a problem.

Its not fair on the dog or the old man, if he can't cope now how will he cope with a puppy ?! possibly an older dog that wouldn't need much exercise would be more suitable if they are adamant about having another dog ? maybe you could steer them round to this idea ?

Also i know its not very nice but if they are elderly, what are the chances of the puppy out living them ? what would happen to the dog then ?

Good luck

I think you are doing the right thing, it sounds to me a young boisterous Lab in that household will be a disaster.

If the majority of walking is going to be left for the husband to do.

I understand completely your thinking, and I feel the same about telling them, "you cant find anything" but the danger is then, they will go ahead and get one anyway.

Do you think you can talk them out of a Lab full stop, and try and make them see a smaller easier breed may be better.

The other thing you or they could do, is contact some Lab breeders to see if they have any "retired" dogs they may be willing to re home..

But if they are set on a puppy that may be difficult.

The ideal thing for them to do really is to go to a rescue centre and give a home to an elderly small dog, but then people have their mind set on one thing.

Hope you can help them see its not a good idea, but to be honest, not sure you will.

Frustrating for you I know, its always easier to see clearly from the outside.

I think that I would try to talk them round to rehoming an older lab rather than a pup.

Thanks for the input. Bob is older than Anne and I do know Anne has had her 60th birthday and that was when we use to walk together, so yes there is that aspect of things too.

Bob is also suffering from some form of dementure.(sp)

I know I should probably tell her exactly what I am thinking but she is so hurt over the loss of Paddy that I really feel I do not want to upset her anymore so feel if I just say I had a look and cannot find anything suitable I haven't actually helped with the hair brain idea.

I do know if she wants something she will move heaven and earth to get it, so if I don't do it someone else will but my conscience will be clear that I have not contributed to Bobs problems and a rescue or puppy not getting the attention it needs.

I did mention my concerns about Bob walking a dog this morning but she says he is up to it.

I agree an oldie rescue that just needs a fireside will be the better option. I will tell her I have been unsuccessful in my search and mention this to her after that my hands are tied as to what she actually ends up doing.


Thanks JB I am going to tell her I cannot find a lab to fit their requirements. I will mention about an oldie rescue that will not need the walking or training and would be happy and content to lay by the fireside and be a companion for Bob while she is working and a trot round the block if he felt up to it.

I have a feeling though she will dig her heels in and say she wants a lab and a pup. I also have a feeling she will get it by hook or by crook, but at least I will not have done the deed.

If you can get her to at least look at other, more suitable, dogs I'm sure she will see one she can't resist!

I will try.

I am sure she will I would be prepared to go to some rescue centres with her as they no longer have a car.

You sound like a caring person,you can only do so much. At then end of the day if she won't listen then she will learn by her mistakes but of course that won't help the dog if she insists on getting a pup. Also as i said, what will happen if they pop off before the dog does ?

I think an older lab is a good idea - a pup would be very hard work....

Thank you I try to be caring.

That is the million dollar question what happens if they pop off before the dog, or Bob does and Anne is left on her own and having to work still. So many questions and no answers that I can see that will be useful to them or a new puppy.

As you say I can only do so much. I will try my hardest to get her too see about an older rescue but I don't hold out much hope.

You are right Lorna a pup will be too much hard work Bob will have to house train apart from everything else. He is a frail old man.