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toryd132
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toryd132 is offline  
Location: London, UK
Joined: Dec 2017
Posts: 1
Male 
 
29-12-2017, 04:22 PM

Training a dog that's scared of me.

Hi,

First a little background:

—Occupants of the house:

Myself (20 years old), my father, Abbey (younger sister, 18 years old) and JJ, our cat.

—Onyx and Abbey

From the start, we wanted to adopt a dog for Abbey, as she always wanted one and was also slightly depressed so we figured that getting her a dog would help.

About a year and 2 months ago we adopted a very scared and anxious puppy, Onyx, who was at the time about a year old. According to the adoption centre, Onyx was abused, they don’t know how but apparently by men because he is very scared and anxious about men, not so much women.

When he first arrived he showed the classic signs of a scared dog in distress and we heeded the advice given to us and as time passed he slowly bonded *only* with my younger sister, Abbey.

As the months passed the connection between Abbey and Onyx strengthened drastically, to the point where they are now both extremely attached to one another.

In addition, Abbey has been able to train Onyx to the point where they can go on walks together without him having a lead on him and running away. On her command, he sits, lays down, comes to her and can sometimes jump.

It is worth noting that now Onyx sleeps with Abbey in her room.

—One more snippet of information

I don't live at home but return most weekends (Thursday until Sunday morning). That means that Abbey and my father are the only people at home during most of the week and I don't interact with Onyx that much.

—Difficulties

Right from the start my father and I were having trouble bonding with Onyx. No matter what we tried, he would always bark at us, growl at us, run away from us, run to Abbey and so on.

We invited at least 4 different dog trainers over the past year, each one advising us to do different things:

- One trainer advised us to stop allowing Onyx to sleep with Abbey as that is only strengthening the bond between them and hindering progress with myself and my father.

- Another advised us to throw spoons at him every time he barks or growls at us, something we all now think was very stupid and hindered any progress we had.

- A third said that it seems that the only way to move forward is to put Onyx on medication - anti-depressants - so for the past 3 months he's been taking Prozak. It doesn't seem to have made any difference.

—My father and Onyx

When one looks at it from the outside, it seems that Onyx has a dual personality disorder:

When Abbey is at school, Onyx and my father stay home and there are no problems - Onyx stays on her bed and actually sometimes comes to sit with my father. When my dad calls Onyx to go on walks he instantly comes to the door and on the walks, Onyx has his tail up and seems to enjoy himself. It all seems very promising.

*However*, the second Abbey steps through the door there seems to be a switch in Onyx's brain and he instantly turns on my dad, barking, growling, sometimes jumping at him and twice almost almost biting him.

So it seems that Onyx thinks we pose a threat to Abbey and he must protect her.

—Myself and Onyx

As mentioned above, I'm out most of the week. When I return home, I experience the same problems as my dad - Onyx is with Abbey and the second he sees or smells me he starts growling or barking.

Sometimes when Abbey isn't home I try petting him but most of the time he runs out of the room before I even have a chance to touch him.

I've tried giving him treats, going on walks with him, sitting with him and Abbey together and so on.

As time passes I feel our relationship gets worse and worse to the point where I actually dislike Onyx. Imagine - every time you return home or walk passed

him to get to the fridge or walk passed your sister's bedroom into yours or stare at Onyx one second too long - he starts growling and barking at you. It's not nice at all and at one point I actually wanted to take him back but that's not an option anymore as he has bonded too deeply with Abbey and such a thing would hurt her.

—The problem

Onyx is Abbey's responsibility - she wanted a dog and she got one. Having said that, we all contribute our time to him. Because he is Abbey's dog, she has done all the research herself about how to train him.

We've got to the point where I think Abbey has sort of given up hope. When Onyx barks at me, instead of doing something about it she just tells him to be quiet. When I ask her why she doesn't do something like putting him outside, she starts making excuses that putting him outside won't help bla bla bla.

When I offer to try and do things that may help she also makes excuses.

My father and I both think that if we put in the right amount of effort, we can achieve our goal of bonding with Onyx and "fix" him.

So I've taken things into my own hands and I'm writing this long post hoping somebody out there will be able to help.

I forgot to mention that Abbey tried on a number of different occasions to use food as a means of getting Onyx to bond with us but for some odd reason Onyx doesn't like to eat. Not food and not treats. Even Abbey has to coax him now and then to eat his food. All the trainers have tried different foods and different treats but they just don't help.

Thanks,

Tory
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COBAR5
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Location: Australia
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30-12-2017, 03:41 AM
What has a vet said about this strange behavior
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Ptolemy82
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Location: Lancashire, UK
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03-01-2018, 12:40 PM
Well, you've not had much luck with your trainers.

As a caveat, I've not seen your dog, family setup, interactions with yourself, others, Abbey, etc. To do this in anything like a detailed way, I'd need to visit. Not possible.

This is off the top of my head.

Leaving aside the moral aspects and any other immediate "no-no" aspects of the following, try a different scenario.

Let's say that Abbey brings home a boyfriend to live with her and he thinks the world of her and vice versa. When she's not around, he's OK (tolerable), but when she's around, he's a nightmare and won't let anybody near her, threatening violence if you persist.

Whether he sleeps with Abbey or not doesn't, of itself, hinder progress with yourself or your father.

If you throw spoons at him, how much good would that do? Is it likely to improve things?

If he was prescribed anti-depressants, it might make him a bit less anxious, but unless you look at his anger/anxiety issues as well, how much progress are you likely to make?

From https://www.vetinfo.com/canine-behavior-prozac.html

"Medication should never be used alone as the solution for a behavior problem. Medication such as Prozac should be used in conjunction with a behavior modification program that gets to the root of the problem."

I'm surprised that your vet didn't make this point when initially prescribing.

Meanwhile, back to Onyx.

My recommendation would be that you ask your vet for a referral to an animal behaviourist who is well versed in resource guarding, desensitisation and counter-conditioning as it would appear that's what's happening here (Abbey is the resource).

To give you an idea of what may be involved, have a look at http://www.patriciamcconnell.com/the...ding-revisited

Abbey needs to be convinced that this situation is not acceptable and that it's likely that she'll have to do a fair bit of work for this to be resolved.
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Chris
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Location: Lincolnshire
Joined: Jun 2006
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03-01-2018, 01:30 PM
I agree that it's impossible to make valid suggestions without knowing your dog and your family set-up first-hand.

However, just a little thought - has Abbey tried walking out of the room whenever Onyx barks, growls or jumps up at someone? No commands, no contact (including looking at him), just basically walking out of the room then coming back in again when he has stopped his displays.

Might be worth trying if only to gauge his reaction, but, as said, this really is one for someone who can get to know him and your family to see what may and may not work.

My first port of call would be to check out the local behaviourists on the APBC list
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