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mjfromga
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Location: Atlanta, GA, USA
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09-04-2014, 05:51 PM
Thanks for the comments, everyone. I've had a child who kept snatching on my dog before and would not stop when I asked him to. His mother seemed to think it was OKAY for the child to get his pleasure from pulling on a dog.

I had to physically grab his hand to get him to stop, so I suppose that sometimes there is no alternative to physically reprimanding a child, but the severity of it is in question to me.

Snatching his hand off or tapping it lightly is okay... but backhanding him to the ground? Not so much. I was not beaten by my parents, and so I really do not know if it would have helped or harmed me.

As for the child, he was walking backwards on his own accord, but I really don't see how that is more convenient than holding his hand?

This woman went to jail for abusing the child harnesses:



AWFUL!!
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Lacey10
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09-04-2014, 06:19 PM
OMG,dragging that poor wee child Deserved the punishment she got
First video all I can see is a responsible parent in a crowded place making sure her child is safe.Worst nightmare for any parent I imagine for their child to go missing in a crowded place like that or anywhere for that matter.Maybe that gorgeous little boy is full of beans,easily distracted and the parent has learned by experience that this is the best way to keep him safe...good for her
I never smacked my kids,but they were brought up to have respect and manners.Can't say their dad or myself have ever had to raise our voices either,except maybe to call them downstairs for their tea
Saddens me to see children throwing tantrums and parents dancing to their tune.Sometimes I really have to bite my tongue because I so want to say something,then I think if they chose to make a rod for their back that's there decision.I could have always taken my children anywhere when they were younger and I'm so proud of them both.
Have absolutely nothing against a parent who believes a light smack is acceptable.Its how I was brought up and I have nothing but the utmost respect for my parents( just mum smacked not dad )Just wasn't the way my OH and I chose to go with regards discipline and for us it was the right decision
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Tang
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09-04-2014, 06:30 PM
Having worked for many years with children from what the Soc Services called 'families in crisis' I can say that the 'light smack' is interpreted very differently depending on WHO is administering it.

A light smack on the back resulting in a child falling down onto the floor and breaking their nose.

A light smack to the back of the head causing a serious nose bleed.

A light smack to the bum resulting in a livid purple HAND PRINT on the buttock of a five year old.

Better NOT TO SMACK at all IMHO. After all, if the 'light' smack doesn't work? What's next?

Every child care pro knows what to look out for regarding child abuse and some of those pointers are bruises to the BACKS of legs and knees etc. Kids don't often 'fall over' and get bruised on the BACK of any part of their lower anatomy.

And tiny 'spots' resulting from impact on kids who don't bruise easily (or black children).

I've seen ROPE BURNS and CIGARETTE BURNS on a baby. And the parents explain them away by saying a sibling dragged the baby round on a rope. Or that the burns to the buttocks were caused by the sticky plasters on Pamper nappies.

If SMACKING or BEATING in any form is proscribed none of these BULLSHITE excuses will hold.
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Lacey10
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09-04-2014, 06:44 PM
I got a "light smack" as a child.I was never left marked or injured and don't consider how my parents chose to discipline me as "abuse" of any kind.I don't recall ever hurting from it or crying,even so it didn't leave a mark on me or scar me in any way physiologically.
As I said already I didn't smack mine and that was my choice.Wasn't that long ago that being slapped by a teacher was acceptable.Things have changed so much since then.
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Tang
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09-04-2014, 08:26 PM
Not just smacked Lacey but CANED by teachers. And hit with rulers etc.

If it's NOT allowed there is no room for interpretation about what constitutes a 'light smack' or not. That'll do me. No questions.

Why is it done? It is done for punishment. If it doesn't HURT it isn't punishment is it? If it doesn't hurt at all - emotionally or physically does no harm. Why not just give them a little pat on the head instead?

Of COURSE it's meant to either scare or hurt. It's designed to make the child think they better 'not do that again' or they'll get the same. If they child wasn't bothered by it - it would be no use at all.

Child does something parent doesn't want them to do. Parent hits child. Child thinks twice about doing it again - NOT BECAUSE THEY KNOW IT'S WRONG - but because they know what will happen if they do and they don't want to get hit again! And more so when it involves children below the 'age of reason'.

Bit like the debate about shock collars really. Oh of course they don't hurt no not at all. They just 'TEACH' yeah right.
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mjfromga
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10-04-2014, 05:08 AM
I feel the need to say this. Though I am against spankings etc. I can understand how being too scared to do something can be better than allowed to do it. As a parent, your job is to look out for your children and help them along the right path.

This is a lot harder for some parents than others, depending on where you live, how easily influenced your kids are, and even your kids mental and physical capabilities. Kids act out for different reasons and actions that might reach one kid might not reach another.

Am not condoning spankings because I never got them, and I'm law abiding etc. I'm just saying why some parents feel the need to do them. Words will not reach all children. For children I see using the F word towards their parents and kicking them etc. I really am not sure what to say either way.

Even though I'd never spank a child, I cannot say how I'd react if my child called me a bitch and kicked me in my shin (rather hard) after I told him he could not have something, but I have a feeling it would be physical ATM... if not a conscious thought, then by instinct.
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Lacey10
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10-04-2014, 11:19 AM
Myra,to me a child that would disrespect a parent by using the F work or kicking them ( using your example) has not been given boundaries and rules( no discipline).The parents most likely smack out of frustration,certainly not instinct. By not giving a child discipline,teaching them what is acceptable and unacceptable behaviour,a child will often times rebell.They need to learn that their are rules in all walks of life,no matter how old we are,we all have to abide by rules.
I taught my children without smacking,it does work,we don't need to physically use our hands to get a message across,in my opinion.
Unfortunately children don't come with a handbook,you learn,you make mistakes sometimes but its a scarey thought to think,as parents we help shape our children into the adults they will become..That's a huge responsibility and one that should NEVER be taken lightly.To be a good parent takes patience.You are their teacher,friend,shoulder,provider etc etc the list goes on Being a mum is the best thing I've ever done,to me its a joy Had I not brought my girls up the way I did,its possible I may not feel so joyful Thank God I did,I say
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Dogloverlou
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10-04-2014, 02:25 PM
I was smacked a few times growing up. I always saw it for what it was - discipline for doing something wrong! I knew the difference between my mum smacking me and my dad's way of disciplining me, which resulted in years of emotional abuse, manipulation and overall bullying By far, he damaged me more then my mum's physical discipline and he's left life long scars with me mentally.
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Lacey10
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10-04-2014, 02:42 PM
Originally Posted by Dogloverlou View Post
I was smacked a few times growing up. I always saw it for what it was - discipline for doing something wrong! I knew the difference between my mum smacking me and my dad's way of disciplining me, which resulted in years of emotional abuse, manipulation and overall bullying By far, he damaged me more then my mum's physical discipline and he's left life long scars with me mentally.
So sorry
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mjfromga
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10-04-2014, 06:55 PM
Yes, Eileen... suppose you're right. Children who swear at their parents or kick them are probably on "too long a leash".
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