Update on my sister. (update at post 37)

I went up to London with my sister on Tuesday to get the results of her CT scan which basically was to see if the 3 lots of chemo had worked. She wanted to go and see the team on her own so I waited while she did. She was in with them for an hour and a half and I was really starting to think that it was good news and they were discussing what to do next. When she finally came out I could see straight away that it wasn't. The chemo has worked on 2 of the tumours but the one in her diaphragm has increased and there are new masses in her tummy.

The only option they can give her now is for 2 lots of a different chemo which targets the tumours and is more 'potent'. This treatment has a 10 - 20% chance of working. We spent 8 hours at the hospital while she had another CT scan and an ultrasound. She has multiple small clots on her lungs, caused by the cancer, and they inhibit her breathing. She's been given a different type of medication to help with this too.

I took her to the doctors yesterday as she needed a blood test and her HB is very low again so she is going in for a transfusion on Tuesday.

We had to tell our mum on Wednesday and I can honestly say I don't think I've ever felt or seen such despair, fear and vulnerability in my sister. She completely fell apart and it frightened me so much. She's always been the sensible, strong one out of the 2 of us. I screw up, make mistakes, have to deal with the fallout and she has just picked me up every time. Mum was very strong but I know she was doing this for Sarah. How the hell does a mother deal with that kind of news about their child???

It's so unfair!!!!!! Why has this happened to her! She has never smoked in her life. I'm terrified this next lot won't work but I keep telling her that someone has to be in the 10 - 20 %. I feel so angry and scared.

Oh Claire I don't know what to say, it's so hard, I thought you were going to report good news too, but I do really believe in positive thinking and as you say someone has to be the percentage .

Huge hugs for you and your family. I wish your sister all the luck of beating this, and you must be a valuable support for her.

Claire, my dear dear friend. I was truly devestated for you and Sarah when I heard from you in the week. You're right, its so unfair. The laws of logic say that bad things should only happen to bad people. Sadly, we all know that this isnt always the case. She shouldnt have to go through this, none of you should. But at least they have offered another option. There is still so much to hope for. Like you say, 10-20% is worth fighting for. Someone has to be in that percentage and I hope and pray with every ounce of strength within me that Sarah is one of them. It must have been terrible for you both to tell your Mum. I can only imagine the pain you are all going through. I know you will find the strength winthin yourself to get through what ever the future holds. It will be tough. There will be tears. But know my friend that you are not alone. Me and Stu (ok so Stu's a bit useless) are there for you every step of the way. Anything you want, need or desire, ask. Any time you want to talk, day or night I am there. And if you dont want to talk, you just want to get away for a while and eat cake then I will have a hotline ready to Mr Kipling. Now wipe your eyes, and smile. For you are an amazing woman and I love you to the end of the earth. (not like that, filthy woman! ) I will see you in a couple of hours. I have amazing cupcakes just for you!! xxxx

Oh my love, my heart goes out to you and your sister. But don't give up hope and remain positive. Cancer can be beaten.

My thoughts are with you and I understand the pain you are feeling.

If you ever need to talk - PM me - I don't come on much these days as I have to use the internet at the in laws but I'll get back to you when I can

Hug Hun, they'll beat this, they'll get through it...

Strength does not come from physical capacity.
It comes from an indomitable will.
-Mahatma Gandhi

x x x x

Claire I am so so sorry

I really don't know what to say (sorry not very helpful I know)

Hell how you and your sister nmanged to tell your mum I don't know but that shows the true strength and power you two have and shows that there is a strength so deep within you. This is the strength that will carry you through this. You are right to focus on the percentage that is positive. I like Dani truly believe in the power of being positive and you do often hear that it was someones frame of mind that helps them beat this awful awful disease.
I may be miles away and not on here as much butyou know thatyou have been a friend to me for a while now and if there is anything I can do drop me a message (Iwill even eat cupcakes - just for you hmmm chocolate or raspberry and white choc?)
Seriously love to you all and keep thinking as positively as you can xxxxxx

I can't see through my tears but I want to say how deeply touched by all your words I am. I deliberately have stayed away as I was overwhelmed by people's kindness when I first told you all about Sarah and again, I am completely overwhelmed. Bless every one of you for caring. I don't know if you realise just how much it means. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Sorry to hear this news. Someone has to make up that 10-20% though! My stepdad had a cancer scare last year and it was about a 4% chance of it not being nasty, but we kept saying someone has to be that 4% and he was very lucky that the results came back clear.
Fingers crossed for your sister's treatment, I really hope it works.

Oh Claire I am so sorry.

My Uncle was diagnosed with a very nasty rare form of leukaemia several years back, in the same way, he has always been healthy, not a smoker or heavy drinker. He was one of the ones in that small percentage who came through it. I truly hope your sister is the same.

Huge hugs to you and your family
xxxxxxxxxx

Bless ya! *Hugs*

I hope with all my heart this new treatment works for your sister.....

I am thinking of you all, and I'll keep everything crossed for some good news xx