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Ripsnorterthe2nd
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16-05-2009, 08:22 PM

Is It In Us, Or Do We Develop These Behaviours?

Sorry about the bizarre title, I just didn't want to put up a title that might offend.

The question relates to paedophiles. I found out today that a young lad I used to babysit as a teenager has been put in prison for being a paedophile. This has got me thinking about how such things develop.

I'm pretty shocked tbh. I always felt that such behaviours were genetically "in" people and that I'd be able to tell instinctively that someone was "different" if you know what I mean? The truth is this lad was always very happy and friendly, he was no different to other children I was babysitting at that time.

So what is everyone elses opinons? Are people born this way, or does it develop due to bad experiences etc?
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Lionhound
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16-05-2009, 08:24 PM
I personally think it is something they are born with.

Sorry hun, I can imagine how this has effected you x
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Ripsnorterthe2nd
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16-05-2009, 08:30 PM
Originally Posted by Lionhound View Post
I personally think it is something they are born with.

Sorry hun, I can imagine how this has effected you x
I'm ok, it's just bizarre tbh.

I tend to go along the lines of people being born with these things, but I just wonder when it starts? I baby sat him when he was about 10-12 and I never saw any behaviour that made me go "Oh, that's a bit strange...". He was just your average 10 year old boy. I guess I'm just a bit freaked out that someone who has this behaiour can appear so "normal".....
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Donny dog
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16-05-2009, 08:41 PM
To put a different slant on it, and I hope I'm not going to get slated here, but evidence would suggest that anyone who displays inappropriate sexualised behaviour, has either suffered or witnessed it themselves.

Now I'm no expert on it, and only have my training to back this up, but I'm not sure I agree with any child being born with any negativity. I think it's to do with how a child is nurtured and the life experiences they have even as a very young baby.

I've worked with children who have been abused at a very young age, who you would think have no recollection, but their attachement issues vary greatly from displaying similar behaviour, to total withdrawal from society.

It must be such an awful time for you having known him, but hopefully, wherever he's been placed, will have suitable intervention packages to stop this happening again.
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Ripsnorterthe2nd
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16-05-2009, 08:43 PM
Originally Posted by Donny dog View Post
To put a different slant on it, and I hope I'm not going to get slated here, but evidence would suggest that anyone who displays inappropriate sexualised behaviour, has either suffered or witnessed it themselves.

Now I'm no expert on it, and only have my training to back this up, but I'm not sure I agree with any child being born with any negativity. I think it's to do with how a child is nurtured and the life experiences they have even as a very young baby.

I've worked with children who have been abused at a very young age, who you would think have no recollection, but their attachement issues vary greatly from displaying similar behaviour, to total withdrawal from society.

It must be such an awful time for you having known him, but hopefully, wherever he's been placed, will have suitable intervention packages to stop this happening again.
So you think it's more than likely he was abused by his parents?
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greyhoundk
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16-05-2009, 08:43 PM
I don't know what causes this - i've heard it said that this often happens in people who have been victims of abuse themselves but would think this is not always the case, a difficult one and a very emotive and controversial one - methinks you may have opened up a can of worms here.....

I would imagine you feel quite sad if you had known this person since he was a young boy - it is very sad
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Reisu
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16-05-2009, 08:43 PM
Both, I think. For paedophilia anyway. If I remember rightly those that have been abused are more likely to go on to abuse, but at the same time it could be influenced by a whacked out response to children's pheromones, or a genetic predisposition, a mental illness, or whatever.
You probably wouldn't know them from Larry though, the media makes it out like they've all got pointy little horns on their head! If you think about it, there must be thousands of paedophiles out there who live their lives without abusing children, because they know it's wrong but can't help their feelings (for lack of a better word). I feel quite sorry for them tbh, imagine feeling like that and not being able to do a damn thing about it, not being able to trust yourself, and it's not like you can go and get therapy for it either unless you want to risk it all coming out and ruining your life. Though, I think most child abusers do so for the feeling of power rather than anything sexual (again, if I remember correctly) so I guess they would be even harder to spot.
Disclaimer: when I say paedophiles, I mean people that have an attraction to children but don't abuse them.. Child abusers can, well, you know
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Lionhound
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16-05-2009, 08:45 PM
I do think upbringing an events may lead to someone acting out but I do believe that there has to be something there initially to be triggered as not everyone who is abused becomes an abuser.
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Shona
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16-05-2009, 08:49 PM
I think both. I think some people are born that way, others go through life and events /the way they live, the people they are round, drugs, can change the path someone is on,
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Dale's mum
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16-05-2009, 08:52 PM
A good question. I suspect there's more than one answer.
A few years ago I knew the aunt of a man who'd started offending in his teens. They were a very average family, if there's such a thing and were totally devastated by his behaviour. His aunt said he'd been a lovely little boy and she'd thought a normal teenager. If it was down to life experiences she certainly had no idea what they were.
On the other hand I've also come across a 10 year old who assaulted a 5 year old in the school toilets. He came from a horrible background and had been abused himself and seen a lot of violence at home.
The scary thing is they seem to need to go further and further to get the same satisfaction so it makes them very dangerous individuals IMO and no one seems to have an answer.
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