I am so sorry you are going through all this by yourself. Please as every one has said, speak to the Macmillan nurses, they are there for you too, I have gone through this with my mum too, the nurses were a godsend.

Cain will survive, but at this rate you will have a breakdown, so try to take time out, very hard and difficult I know. As to relatives, can you organise one phone call to one of them and leave them to ring others? Ask them to come and sit with your mum, they probably think you are doing an amazing job copping and wont even think to offer any help, but ask them to pitch in. What about your brother, can he be more help, after all she's his mum too.

Try to spend some quality time with your mum, just chatting about normal stuff, again very difficult, but it does help.

I really feel for you and my heart and prays are with you.
take care hun
xxxx

My mum died after a long struggle with cancer. It`s very hard. I would sit and talk to her about the kids and the weather - she was mostly unconscious with the medication but apparently people can still hear in that state - because my dad couldn`t bear it.
Be kind to yourself. Don`t make any life-changing decisions. It`s not going to hurt your dog if he gets fewer walks - but personally I think you need the comfort that a good doggy cuddle can give you.
But you do need to see the load is shared. Talk to people.

Sorry you have to do this on your own. Thinking of you.

Don'y worry about Cain not getting the attention he is used to, he will get over it.

Take care.
x

I can't imagine what you are going through at the moment.

You have been given some excellent advice. I hope you get the support you need and I am thinking of you.

I can't offer any advice but just wanted to say I'm sorry you are going through all this xxx

Just a thought, could the Marie Curie nurses help? We had a lovely lady from MC who stayed overnight with Granddad allowing Mum to have a good night's sleep.

Sorry you're going through this.

Can understand a bit of what you are going through as I cared 24/7 for my Mum who was afraid to be left alone.

Have you tried
http://www.crossroads.org.uk/index.p...&submit=Search

They come in to let you have time to yourself even if it's a sleep or time with Cain.

{{{hugs}}}

Thank you everyone for your support, advice and understanding. So many people have replied, I can't quote you all, but I really appreciate every single reply

Cain has actually been a bit less annoying today. I think he's starting to understand that I can't give him attention all of the time. Although he did drop his head on my laptop keyboard earlier and stared at me, which made me laugh A friend dropped in to see mum and I took the opportunity to walk Cain. He only got an hour but he's been settled since we got back and I enjoyed a break out of the house in sun. He might be a pain in the backside but he's such a clown, he does keep humour in the house

Thankfully my work have been very understanding. They said I can drop my targets and extend the training if I need to but I'm trying to avoid it unless I have to as I want my promotion to be made permenant as soon a possible. They have said I can take compassionate leave, but I'm reluctant to take it right now as I don't know how long mum will be ill so it's difficult to plan, I don't want to use it up now then find that I actually need it even more in a month or so.

The MacMillan nurse visited today and we discussed the problems that mum has had. She suggested that mum goes into a hospice for a few days so they can try and sort out her laxative dose and control her symptoms. She said it will probably only be for a few days. Mum doesn't really want to leave home but she has agreed as she knows it's for the best. To be honest I feel so relieved. I want to have mum at home but I have no idea how I can provide 24 hour care and never leave her alone. Even just for a few days, I do feel relieved that she'll be getting better care there. I'll try and go into work for half days and then spend the rest of the day at the hospice. When the nurse asked why she didn't want to go in, mum said she was scared to leave me, it seems that she specifically wants me around. Again, I really don't mind but it's a logistical nightmare

Anyway, we have a few days respite arranged, I don't know what will happen next but hopefully this will all be for the best.

Thats a start. Enjoy your brief rest you and Cain can have some nice relaxing walks and just chilling together.

The respite care will give you time to both recharge your batteries a little and also to take a better view of the whole situation so that maybe you'll be able to see a workable plan of action that will allow you some life whilst at the same time giving your mum the time she needs. Sometimes, a bit of breathing space does wonders.

Big hugs for you and your mum. You are both so very brave and obviously have a wonderful relationship xx