just "Off "topic......have you ever seen / heard of those women who like to breast feed adults, or men that like to wear nappies?

Oh! Kel sorry this is just not on hun, its too weird I foster kids and I'd be well and truly warning them if anything like this happened, whichever way it is grooming, she is preying on him and using her powers... love. Sorry but thats IMO.

Some years ago my eldest worked with a much older woman, and she lavished him, at the time I knew nothing about it, me being divorced with both sons still with me, I was working alot as my youngest was in college.

My eldest had mentioned this to the older woman....nothing bad just saying as you do....it turned out that she interpreted this as ''he was unwanted'' which she invented more in her mind as he is gay and that his younger brother was the blue eyed boy. Every week she was giving my eldest money which he kept trying to give back, £60 here and there, then she started sending him gifts at work, but when he politly refused them she started sending them to our home.....thats how I found out.
She was 58 had a husband that was bedbound with illness and like with your BF talked about sex.
I went to his place of work and had a word with her....she told me that I was unfit to be a mother and that she ''was his mother now'' My son left the job and she stalked him for a long time,and sent me hate mail, we had to get the police involved in the end. OK she was no serial killer but she did have mental health probs and gave us a bit of a shock to be honest.

Im not suggesting this lady is like that but the bf needs to grow up before he gets in too deep, he sounds too innocent or (sorry to say this) loving it, but whatever it is he needs to be honest with you and you with him...well thats my thoughts

Hmmm, does sound rather strange!

Has this woman definitely got an OH, have either you or your OH met him? Sorry if this has been covered already!

I'm totally confused as to why on earth he would accept the offer of going to stay with this woman for 2 weeks??

I just spoke to him, apparently he's known her 2 years...

Yes it's Sark, no cars but they are allowed mobiles he says.

I trust him completely that he would not knowlingly do anything detrimental to our relationship but the fact he is there when I really didn't want him to be is enough for me to deal with, he said it was all decided before we were together so it was a choice he had already made which is why I didn't really push him into not going, I think that would have made things worse and i'd have been shot down by his friends and family for being over controlling...?

They have no tv over there or anything, he's going to be bored in a couple of days I have no idea why he's there for 10, he said she mentioned that 10 days would be better, they could do more walks and sightseeing, he can't even walk round tesco and he's shattered....

I'm becoming more concerned as this thread goes on and after speaking to him just now on the phone he's just brushed it all off as 'it's too late now for all this'...

Very briefly Mish but he's not that bad

Thanks Steph, no don't be sorry it totally makes sense and sounds all so familiar, she's deff not all their this woman, anyone can see that. And he is too innocent, he doesn't realise and he is too trusting, there's noway i'd have gone anywhere with anyone like that no least a remote island in the middle of nowhere with limited outside contact eh?

I think when he gets back i'll need to make it clear i'm totally not happy about him going again. I asked him why I was never invited and he just kept changing the subject so I wonder if he'd asked and she'd said no?!?!?!

So am I to be fair and he's my b/f!...

Oh God no no one has met him but Dan has spoken to him on the phone...

She actually sounds a lot like my Nan... VERY free with money, mysterious partner, talks about her sex life... So it doesn't sound so odd to me. I think he should be very careful not to get in too deep with the friendship if it makes him uncomfortable, but it does sound more likely to me that she's lonely and shows her appreciation for him spending time with her through expensive stuff, and perhaps wants somebody to look after in lieu of her own kids (rather than a slave or murder victim )