Depression...

Depression is really kicking in now....
Over more or less the past 3 years my life has been tipped up side down and shaken very badly.

Moved house to what seems to be a house from h*ll, it's not improved that much but it's getting there.

Lenny had to be p.t.s at the age of 4 due to cancer. I couldn't see him suffer any more. I miss him like h*ll, i've had a constant ache in my heart.

I found i had gall stones so have had to have my gall bladder out.

Max seriously bit some one so... i thought it the safest option was to have him p.t.s (that wasn't the first time he had done that.)

Next i had a miscarrage for the 6th time, two weeks later me and the ex oh split (rather not go in to the gory details, only thing i can say is, i was with him 6 years, 6 years too long!)
He took Jack with him as it was his dog.

The only good constant thing i have had in my life is Tiffany, now 4 years old and i don't know what i would do if she wasn't in my life.

Any suggestions as to what i can do to improve my state of mind please.... I really don't think i could take any more.

well you are so low down think of it this way.... The only way is up.
Had a mate who suffered depression yet wanted to be the life of the party but he never knew, he was always causing mayhem and trouble, then one day after he was sneaking about stalking his mates , one of us had decided to help and took him to one side and explained we knew his angst and day by day he was guided through the mire of NHS system , today he is just one of us, get well soon.

Guiseppe, I am glad your friend changed their state of mind.
It's not just a case of the nhs and what "happy" pills they want me to take. (have been given many different ones and not ashamed to say i still take them.)
I just think there may be an alternative or some thing i need to do... so any advice is greatly received.

Hi Stafford, i'm sorry you are feeling so down. Things have a habit of escalating and sometimes when you are feeling vulnerable it seems a whole lot worse.

I have struggled with depression most of my life, had very bad PND after my first son I had to see a psyciatrist (sorry bad spelling) i was taking anti-depressants for a long time but i did eventually get off them gradually.

Please go to the doctors and get your medication looked at, you may need a stronger AD and have some counselling - things don't feel as bad if you can talk to someone. If you don't fancy talking to a stranger have you a friend you can talk to or your mum maybe ?

Please do not despair - i know it seems as though you will never feel "normal" again but you will.

For you and your daughters sake please go and see your GP

Please pm me if you need a chat anytime

I'm also on the happy pills, but have also opted for counselling, my first session is today, its hard to see any good when you are in that black hole, please go back to your drs and aske if there are other options as well as the pills

I do feel normal just abit low, if that makes any sence...
I have been for counselling but i felt very patronised when the guy i was talking to about having a miscarrage again he said " i compleatly understand ", he may have had a partner lose a baby but how on earth can he understand how it felt to me?
I'm slightly thinking about trying counselling again, so i haven't rulled it out.
Just to put your mind at ease my it is daughter that makes me feel happy and smile.
She is compleatly unaware of how i feel, i could never let her to see me in a low mood. (heaven forbid!)
Maybe i need to find something to focus on and... I get stuck after the and.
I have considered getting another dog but thats not so simple either or to be entered in to lightly!

im sorry you feel down,i think you need to have something to focus on, i have had plenty of happy pills but have been off the for 2 years now ,still get down a bit but not like i was ,i just wanted to get in a car and smash into a brick wall the only thing that stopped me was the thought of my kids.
i didnt go to coucelling as i had that when my mum was ill(bi-polar) and found that they made me worse! my son goes to concelling (he also has bipolar missed me and went to him!) but to be honest they arnt helping him either.
go back to your dr and try and sort you meds out it took a long time to find something that worked for me and NEVER be ashamed i found the more i talked to people the more i realsied i want alone in depression

I am so sorry you are feeling low, I do understand what you are saying about feeling low not depressed. Please go to see someone while you are low the depression creeps up on you as you know.

I have suffered with depression for many years at the moment I am fine and haven't needed my tablets for a couple of years. My youngest son also suffers he had counseling and tablets he is now feeling better. He has decided to do a lot of exercise he does the gym a couple of times a week and sometimes when able goes off on his own to Snowdon.

Not practical for you I know.
Have you any Friends you can catch up with for a coffee while your little girl is on nursery ?

Maybe set yourself some me time if only an hour to read a book or have a good soak in the bath with some lovely bubble bath. Gardening that sometimes helps although I must admit the cold is keeping me indoors at the moment except for walking Ollie.

I hope you feel better soon and there are quite a few of us here you could chat too if you needed and that understand how you are feeling.

Stafford, I am so sorry you are feeling so low. It sounds like you have really been through the ringer lately. I too suffer from depression so I'll throw in my two cents for what its worth.

Counseling, its a mixed bag. I think you MUST have a female counselor for starters, to be able to understand your uniquely female pain of losing a baby and your relationship. There are lots of counselors out there, its a matter of finding the right fit for you. But honestly, I have found that often, having a good friend you can vent your feelings too makes you feel better than working with a professional.

My biggest mood booster is exercise. I;m a lazy slug, but getting up and being active makes me feel better every time without fail. Doesn't have to be anything really vigorous, just a long walk will do the trick.
The next thing I would do is something to take care of you. Do something for yourself that makes you feel cared for, like a nice hot bath and a cup of tea, or a good book, or funny movie, or a girls night out. Self care is vital. I know when you have kids, taking care of you falls to the wayside, but if you make time for it a couple times a week, it makes a world of difference.

Hugs to you!

Oh, my dear - I don`t have any advice. I just want you to know that we are thinking of you and wishing you well.
xxx