Family Pets.

It is possibly a strange co-incidence, possibly fate, that my sister has a dog called Willow too.
Willow in this case is a Bloodhound. Soulful of face, dour of temperament, yet remarkably laid back. Indeed, laid back to the point of frequently being horizontal.

Now, Willow has a friend. Of this I was totally unaware, the first time I met both Willow and *friend*. My sister had handed me a plate of custard creams and a mug of coffee, and I was was attempting to take a seat on her sofa, with coffee in one hand and plate in the other. I was actually in the semi-crouched position seen adopted by ski-jumpers about to hurl themselves off the end of the jump and into god knows where, and was nearly sat comfortably on the sheepskin cushions, when a piece of fur trim detatched itself from the cushion in question and launched itself at my head.

Sister intoduced it, as it made itself comfortable in what little hair I have, as *Ferret*, a ferret. She has, or at least, her offspring have, another ferret, named, in the same manner, as Notferret.

I don't know whether you have ever tried to remain calm, and drink coffee, when every so often something that looks like it has been extruded through an icing bag nozzle and left to grow mouldy slides down your face and tries to nibble at your biscuit?

Willow likes dog biscuits, but *loves* catfood. So every day Sister leaves him a large bowl of bikkits, and a kitten-sized portion of catfood.

Ferret also likes catfood. And Ferret is smart in a way that astounds. And Willow is either remarkably astute and forgiving, or as dumb as a box of hot frogs.

As Sis puts down the plate of food, Willow perks up. She clambers to her feet, and heads towards the bowl. At the same moment, a movement on the sofa......Willow wanders past, and *Pyoing* Ferret becomes the latest Milinary accessory for Bloodhounds.

At the bowl, Willow lowers her head to eat, and Ferret toboggans down her nose. Simultaneous communal munching then occurs...and when the eating is finished (and I swear this is true) Willow lies down, and *Ferret cleans her teeth*

Sister also has a menagerie outside. T'other ferret lives in a cage in the garden, as does a hamster and four rabbits. (Different cages, obviously, otherwise they'd just have one ruddy enormous ferret with a smile on it's face)

She used to have a Guinea-Pig as well. But it got out of the cage in March, and has *gone back to its roots* in the garden.
And very ferocious roots they are too. Yesterday she put Notferret in the rabbit run (again, without the rabbits) and within seconds this *thing* arrived.

How to describe it? It's......okay. Imagine, if you will, that Zebedee from The Magic Roundabout had gotten written into the script of the Star Trek episode *The trouble with Tribbles* as love interest for the Tribbles. The result of the menage a deux would be this thing. It arrived, (and here my imagination has it clad in a loincloth and bearing a bow and arrow, but I am fairly certain that wasn't the case. Not so sure about the bandanna ) and it commenced to jump up and down in the air, to a height of maybe ten inches, making the sort of noise you associate with standing on an old squeaky toy that's been left out in the garden in the rain.

Quite...hypnotising. Geeps should not be feral.

My sister informs me that a few weeks ago her neigbour's Boxer dog got in her garden. Boxer (for that is her name) is quite placid, but got the scent of Geep, and went a'huntin'. Sadly for Boxer, her hunting instincts were sharp, and she found Geep. A short while later, neigbour avows, she found that her survival instincts were also sharp, as were her suddenly acquired abilities to climb fences.

I don't think anyone in my family has a sane animal.

..and I bet you wouldn't have it any other way Gaz !!!

lol Gaz your mad and your stories are even madder!

lol you remind me of someone else on here for some strange reason

Absolutely crazy your stories are fab!!

great story .. it really made me laugh... for sharing such a wonderfull tale

He he Gaz, you really make me laugh

Great stories

Oh my god, this has had the whole I.T. Department at work howling! You need to be writing for a living!

Thank you for the fab story, the children hav just come rushing in to find what mummy was laughing at, great fun, cheered me up a big thank you.

:smt005 :smt043 :smt042 lol gaz, was wondering when you would post another of your crazy and absolutely hilarious stories

thanx for making me giggle lol, i have tears streaming down my face at the thought of you being attacked by *ferret* with custard creams in one hand and coffee in the other hope ya didnt burn yourself lol


keep em coming x x x x x x