thats horrible!!! you shoudlnt let her control you like that...

can you not go live with a friend/relative close by???


i wouldnt stand for anything like that - off anyone - ever!

Oh Lorna

You are such a sweet gal and I really feel for you xx

I would take one day at a time and see where it takes you xx

Aw hun you not having the best of times... I hope you can sort something out asap, for your sake.... I have to agree with the other posts that I believe you would be better off without and have time to lick your wounds and be your own woman and finally get your ex wife out of your heart and head (sorry if this is out of turn btw) I feel from your posts that you still love her....?
I hope in time you can find someone to love you for WHO you are and not give a damn if you want every inch of your skin pierced and tattooed..as that would be your choice!!
Thinking of you, take care hun

I have two piercings, one on my belly button, {had it done before the tummy rolled over the top of my jeans lol,,,well the other we wont mention, but if she cared she wouldnt bother, its just an excuse to get out,, hun your well rid, dont waist time over people like that, there is someone who will love you for you waiting out there,,,just a case of finding them, ps have fun searching, xxx

Had to think very carefully before replying to this.

I know that some people love tattoos and piercings but I particularly find facial piercings and tongue, mouth etc a major turnoff. I just hate them and think they are vile. Also feel the same about excessive amounts of tattooing. I also think that tongue piercings can make people sound vocally rather stupid.

Obviously there are many that don't feel this way, and can see why some people would want them. Whilst I think that your partner dumping you over it is a bit extreme, you should have perhaps discussed it as it is just a point of vanity and not everyone would share your enthusiasm.

There is of course more to a relationship than just 'window dressing' or lack of it as the case maybe, but really altering your appearance in a way that may repel your partner just shows a lack of respect for them, to do something that you want with scant regard to their needs and wants is just plain selfish.

I know this is probably not what you want to hear just now, and all the posts here are supportive whereas this one is not. Its not meant as a flame or to upset you so don't get me wrong, just trying to point out that there is another side to your relationship and maybe you are reading the message from your partner as being negative rather than the fact you may have upset her too.

It takes two to Tango.

if she had a face full of metal, then fair enough.. It's a 3mm ball....hardly a massive alteration in her appearance.

Honey, you're not the lodger, or something she can cast out when she feels like it. I personally think the piercing is just another excuse for her to have some leverage when she's fed up with you

Honey, tell her to get stuffed and walk away. Your much better than this..

Yes, she wants a doormat whom she can control.

So why are you with her, what self worth does that show?

Yes, because you are being that controlled person and it will escalate.

Yes, she forgets sometimes and hits you.
You never want to hurt her yet she is hurting you physically, emotionally and mentally and do you really want to wait through ten years of pain to see this when you know it already?

Lorna! If I could I'd blooming come and get you and drag you away from there now. If I had the room (and a dog that wouldn't eat yours) I'd have you here except it is yards from your ex and I don't think that would be a good idea at all.
You need to get out.
You need to get some time to find you, and I don't just mean 'me time' as in time to read a good book, relax. I mean really find YOU.

I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels this way.
You are a creative, caring, loving person and it is killing your spirit to stay in a relationship like this.
I thought you had already split, but were staying there until you could find somewhere else to go?
You need to do that.
A lot of people on here care about you and worry about you, and I hope you're not upset at me talking like this, but I worry. If you never speak to me again that would be ok if one iota of this gets through to you.
I've spoken to you before about being in a similar situation.
Trust me, you need space and time to get your head round a lot of things in your life and it's not going to happen whilst you are with people who control and put you down.

Be you Lorna, please, for us.

:smt038 :smt038 :smt038 :smt038

Agree completely