Well it is Health & Relationship related!

Didn't want to take over the daily thread with my ramblings about this.

Have now heard from no.1 son - he fwded me the email from surgeon confirming 16 Oct for his spinal surgery. And their confirmation that he can go straight back to Bath afterwards and not have to be closer to the clinic.

So .... contacted sis who lives by the clinic. Told her the update and went to look at flights. Gave son a quick call to ask whether he wanted me to accompany him to the hospital or shall I just get there the same day and go straight to hospital - maximising time I can spend waiting on him hand and foot when he gets out. And asked HOW he was planning to travel from Bath to Winchester for the op.

He replies saying 'big problem now mum - it is actually KILLING ME and I don't know if I can last another 3wks like this' (oh gawd) now wishes he had done as I advised and taken the FIRST appointment available which is on the 2nd Oct.

He is going to call surgeon's office and see if they can pull it forward to then.

So I am still waiting to book flights and still don't know if I should go straight to Bath to him or to my sis near the clinic or indeed whether to tell him to get over to my sis the day before admission so it isn't such a long journey on the day.

Plus I feel wobbly and sick thinking about him having this major op. (Naturally I am a MUM!) One of those times when it really brings it home to you that however much, as their mum, you want to 'fix all their problems' you just can't - also brings it home that however well off you are (Mart is very comfortable and is paying for this op privately) it doesn't make a damn bit of difference when it comes to your health. (Apart from him being able to choose a surgeon and get it done more quickly - tho he has now been told he is eligible for this fancy op on the NHS because of the state he is in and how long he has waited and all that - but they estimated 18 months wait 6 months ago and he just cannot plan his work round that sort of timescale).

Titanium disk replacement - they go in through the abdomen to operate on the spine. Minimises scar tissue on the spine and associated problems with that. But it is quite 'new' and not enough results really to make a good assessment of success rates unlike the older solutions.

He's been in touch with people who've had it done with success. Given it a lot of thought. I'm still worried sick of course (and I bet he is too if the truth be known).

Bella would REALLY cheer him up but I can't subject her to the stress of the rigmarole of flying and all that it entails knowing that I am going to have to leave her on her own most of the time when I arrive coz I will be at the hospital.

Emailing right now back and forth with my darling sister. She would do ANYTHING for me and any of my kids and the same goes for me with her. Jen even offered to take time out of Uni to come and help care for her husband when he had his near fatal bike accident.

Wish I was sat down with her right now. She doesn't drink much but I could drink enough for both of us and have a bluddy good cry and a good old moan and let it all out!

Since typing that I've been thinking. I think I should go straight to his in Bath. Just to make sure he has left the place all OK and locked up and everything - he is hopeless at all that. Unless the Bulgarian lady he has had coming in to clean since Monny has been in Poland could come in and check it all out. I might suggest that to him. Give her a key. Will be nice to get back to a sparkling clean pad once he is out anyway!

And of course will save me the job of making sure it is!

Oh Pat I would be worried sick too. Yes we do want to fix all their problems and it does nothing for our blood pressure does it ?
I am sure it will all be fine in the end but I bet you are wishing you could fast forward the whole episode.

I am sure if you had put this on the daily thread no one would of minded, its pretty open and is after there for all the good and bad in our life.

No wonder you are worried sick, this sounds like a really major op he's having is it down the lower end Pat or higher where the chord is involved? They do such wonders nowadays, I'm sure you have nothing to worry about especially as it's private!

I think it would be a great idea for him to get himself over to your sister's as near to the op as possible, even maybe a couple of days would eliminate anything going wrong during the journey, hold ups waddever, and he can relax and psyche himself up for the big day.

You are a wonderful mum wanting to be everywhere for him, but you need to sort yourself out with exactly what your plans are before you leave for the UK so that you don't end up going round in circles, or headless chicken mode don't you. Taking Bella would only be an added worry, so you are wise to leave her in the place she knows so well and is happy to be left there.

I hope everything goes well, and I am sure you're going to do everything you can to eliviate any stress for you son, he's going through enough isn't he. I do hope they can pull that appointment forward for him too he sounds in absolute agony

thanks Lynn he has just emailed again and still waiting to hear if can be brought fwd. That will be one week tomorrow if they can.

He told me the Bella updates on bookface are the highlight of his life these days awwww!

And my sis has just emailed me to say she is going to give me a big CUDDLE when I get there!

In the mean time you will have to have (((hugs)) from us.

Lynn is right Pat,you have all of us,same way you'd be there for other members in stressful situations Be much better to be brought forward,bless him being in that much pain Of course you're worried but things are always so much worse when there's distance.Once you're home and with him you'll feel so much better I reckon.You have a great family and you're a wonderful mum (( hugs)) Pat xx

Pat lots of love and hugs from us all here. I can only echo what has already been said, we're all here to give you Moral Support and just to be talked to.
I'm sure he is scared, but he's not going to let anyone else see that is he, so you'll have to be strong for him, just like Mum's all over the world are.

I can only agree with what everyone else has said. The waiting must be the worst part for both of you especially with you being so far away. ((((Hugs)))

Thanks so much girls. Thing is, if it wasn't for Bella I'd be on a flight today and wouldn't matter which date he has it done and of course stay as long as needed.

I'm planning to leave her for two weeks. And that should be enough to see him well back working (even from home) but obviously do not want to spend a week hanging about before he has it done.

I didn't think I'd be flying Bella ANYWHERE anytime soon - not unless I relocated myself. Not after the last fiasco. So her rabies jab is now 6 months out of date and if she has it done again she has to wait before allowed in and all that. There is no requirement for her to have boosters here in Cyprus no more than there is in the UK - only if she is flying to UK or other country that insists on it.

I know that if the worst came to the worst Petstop my boardings are exporters and they'd see to it all. We use the same vet too. But no one has died! That's the plan for if I drop dead or heaven forbid anything crops up more serious than this episode and I want to be gone much longer.

Well no email or further phone call yet. Don't want to bug him as he is at work right now. I think I will check out the flights for around the 1st and see what's available and talk to him later. Tell him if he does want me there in advance bluddy SAY SO! Don't be thinking it sounds wimpish to want your mum to hold your hand before you go in! Geez it is a big op. and the titanium disc replacement is quite new.

This is the guy who will be doing it
http://www.spirehealthcare.com/south...her-john-dare/