its so sad to think theres children out there who think their dads dont love them - and they just arent getting the chance to

well.. thanks to my parents im against marriage completely. They made that one mistake.. and even tho my dad wasnt stopped from seeing me and brothers.. theyd continuously slag each other off to us sayin how bad the other one was etc. Which is really sad.. cos my bros hate my mum now

I think parents shud always be able to see their kids.. unless its for their own protection.
Like my bro has a kid now.. and he has nearly split from his gf so many times, but at least she has always said he can see her.
U have to make it easy on the kids.. cos its jus not fair

yep i agree the kids have no choice you have to make the right ones for them! thats part of parenting and its not always easy

It's back down to control again. No parent should ever slag of the other one to thier kids. Children should be able to make up thier own minds, without the influence of parents

I don't agree that children have the right to make up their own mind in relation to any contact they may have with their absent parent until such time as the child is able to demonstrate a maturity and understanding of what is going on around them.

I accept that there are a number of parents who play games and unfortunately the child/ren are in the middle. Is this the case for all and sundry. We listen to fathers who want justice but the question is do we ever know what has gone on between the parents to make a mother feel that the best course of action is for the children to have little or no contact with their father or vice versa if children are with dad.

Tessa

but surely all kids have a right to know both of their parents so they can make their own minds up? I agree their is some circumastances where one or both parents are definitley not good for their kids but a lot of these fathers just have jealous or controlling ex wives who punish the kids for their fathers mistakes towards the wife. If my hubby had an affai then he would be out of the door beofre he could try to apologise and my heart would want to punish him by keeping the kids he adores away from him but would never do this.

KatyB

In an ideal world the answer has to be yes the children have a right to a relationship with both parents.

Hyperthetically lets say parents split as dad has found a new partner in his life. Mum feels betrayed hurt annoyed and her emotions run high. Dad is now living with new lady in his life. Children have right to have relationship with him. Not a problem here.

However, dad is dad loves his children but wants two weeks after separation to introduce children to new lady. Cracks start appearing. Is it in the best interests of the children for their to be contact when dad is dictating pace so quickly. Mum tries to explain to dad that children just want some time with him and that not only is it hard for her to cope with a new woman in his life the children are finding it hard. Dad does not understand this because he loves his children and they love him. Result children dont see dad.

One of the difficulties I feel in respect of contact between children and their absent parent is that as adults we fail to see what is going on through the eyes of a child who at the end of the day this little individual is a child not a mini adult. In some cases I suspect that if the parents were able to let the dust settle and were able to take ten steps back and view matters for what they really are with the help of people trained in the area of dealing with adults/children then there would be prospect for contact being re-introduced without the need for parents to instigate proceedings.

Tessa

Tessa I totally agree with you.

yes tessa i do agree as well! i just hope and pray that if my hubby and i ever split we would both act like responsible parents and if not i would just smack him in the gob!

kay I don't ever want to upset u, I might get smacked in the gob!