my thoughts are with you hun, praying for you all xx

That's a lovely memorial to your parents and really nice that you were able to tell her about it.
Sorry to hear Cain is struggling too, hopefully he'll enjoy the quality time together later.
Xxx

Only just saw this thread and just wanted to say I really empathise and I know just how hard it is: my father died from malignant melanoma (skin cancer) and we were in the exact same situation as you. A constant round of Macmillan nurses, carers, etc. It was utterly exhausting. I really do feel for you Amanda.

Sending you a cyber-hug and also a huge hug for Cain.

Tabitha x

I can't believe I've missed this thread. My heart truly goes out to you.
On 10th March last year my dad was diagnosed with lung cancer, he was given months to live. Within 2 weeks of diagnosis he had deteriorated beyond all our expectations.
3 weeks and 3 days after his diagnosis, as I was helping mum change his pyjamas, he collapsed in my arms and died within a couple of minutes. As I cradled him I was talking to him constantly, reassuring him that we'd be ok. We think it was a heart attack that took him in the end (he had a history of heart problems inc a quadruple bypass)

We were blessed that my dad was spared anymore suffering.

Dig deep, take all the help that's offered and off-load your feelings whenever possible.

I didn't follow my own advice, I became very unwell and almost had a nervous breakdown which resulted in 6 months sick leave from work.

Please grab any opportunity you can to protect your own well-being and treasure every moment you have left with your mum.

My thoughts, empathy and best wishes are with you all x

Thank you everyone for your kind wishes and sharing your experiences. It thoroughly depressing how wide spread cancer is and how many people have been affected

Had a bad night last night. Finally got to sleep about 12.30am then got a call from my SIL at 2.30am to say "the nurses think this is it". Jumped in the car, leaving a confused Cain home alone. Mum's breathing had got very rattley and her pulse dropped. Long night, none of us have slept and SIL ended up making an emergency dash to the 24 McDonalds at 5am to get food and coffee to attempt to keep us all going! All walking around like zombies right now

Mum's still with us, we're all hoping she won't need to suffer much longer

The hospice had a rough night. We had one relative come flying up the corridor crying "I knew I shouldn't have gone home", I don't know if she got there before her mum died or not Also a new guy who came in yesterday took a turn for the worse and his entire family (20+ people) have been flooding in since 7am. They gave all clearly had a huge shock as they are scattered all over the corridors crying it's very upsetting to see the upset.

Mum's still sedated so we're hopeful that's she's not in any pain or distress.

No idea what to say but ......"I am here"

Huge hugs, hon. Stay strong x

awful time for you all. Every time I read this thread I descend into tears so so hard for everyone. Thinking of you and your Mum, hopefully she isn't knowingly suffering any more. x

Oh you poor thing.

In my experience, it wasn't that important to me to be with Daddy right at the very last breath. As someone else on here said, they basically drift off as if they're asleep. The last moments I treasure with my father where when he was still interacting with me...no longer speaking, but still responding with a twitch or a sigh. I told my sister not to call me to try and make it for his last moments, and I don't regret that I wasn't there.

I don't know if that helps you, but I thought I'd let you know.

Thoughts and hugs for you all xx

some of the posts retelling their own experience with the loss of a parent have me welling up in tears here.

I agree with you - I was so lucky to have that last hour or so with my mum on the afternoon before she died. Knowing she COULD hear me and understand and respond.

Only one of the six of us stayed all night every night (hosp. provided a big comfy armchair right outside her door). Some of my younger sisters were very upset that they were not there at the end. (Insanely even 'jealous' of the sis who was?)

I was GLAD I wasn't. I hold the memory I have of her a few hours previously when she was still 'with it'.