I say this.

• To prepare for the Stafford, go to the local Veterinary Surgeon. Tip the contents of your purse/ wallet onto his counter and tell him to help himself. Then go to the pet shop. Arrange to have your wages paid directly to their accountant. Go home and read the paper in peace for the last time.

• Before you finally get a Stafford, find a couple who already have one and berate them about their methods of discipline, lack of patience, appallingly low tolerance levels, and how they have allowed their dog to run riot. Suggest ways in which they might improve their dog’s sleeping habits, toilet training, table manners and overall behaviour. Enjoy it – it’ll be the last time in your life that you will have all the answers.

• To discover how the night feels, go to bed at 10pm. Set the alarm for midnight, wake up and throw yourself violently onto the floor. Place a 56lb bag of potatoes on the duvet and attempt to get back under the covers. Reset the alarm for 5.30am and, just as you are waking up, slap yourself in the face with a large wet sponge. Get up, make breakfast, keep this up for 14 years, try to look cheerful.

• Can you stand the mess that dogs make? To find out first throw 2 gallons of mud onto a newly mopped kitchen floor, smear the excess up the sides of the cooker and kitchen units. Tread a little into the hall and living room carpets. Stick your fingers in the flower-beds and rub them on the clean walls. Now, how does that look?

• Walk down the road with one arm fully extended, break into a jog extending the arm even further. Say ‘heel’ nicely, several times. Shout ‘heel’ several more. Scream ‘stop pulling damn you’. Ignore looks from passers-by.

• Forget the BMW and buy a Ford Sierra. Buy a rawhide chew, a packet of dog biscuits and a large bone. Mash them down the back of the rear seats. Go to the hairdressers and obtain a week’s floor sweepings. Distribute liberally on the seats and carpets. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car. There, perfect!

• Get ready to go out, try to sneak out of the door without making a sound. Go halfway down the garden path, come back. Five minutes later try again. Come back. Put on the stereo and make soothing noises. Try again. Come back. Ring friends and tell them to come round to see you instead.

• Practice sitting on not more that 1/8th of the sofa and try different methods of balancing a hot cup on your knees. When, if ever, you perfect this, try eating a packet of crisps/ biscuits silently whilst keeping the packet totally out of sight. Give up and sprinkles crumbly residue down back of sofa.

• Tie 2 dinner forks together and put a dog lead on a door hook. Rehe**** picking up the dog lead silently. When it rattles scratch yourself very hard down the shins with the forks while shouting "Get down damn you". Repeat procedure several times. Go to the sports shop and obtain a pair of goalkeeper’s shin pads. Be prepared for them to last mere seconds

•Now for a final tip start practicing even trying to see your computer screen while balancing 40 odd lb's of Stafford on you lap. IMPOSSIBLE.....Nah you just need to start practising when they are tiny Now using the keyboard is an artform.

• Always repeat everything you say at least five times. Always repeat everything you say…Always repeat everything you say.....Always.....Get the picture

The "highlights" of living with the breed I love....Staffords.

Karen

LOL Kazz...sounds exactly the same living with my dogs...maybe different breeds arn't so different....lol

I think if they have crazy owners then the dogs are very similar.

i had a couple ring last week, who had heard about my puppies and were interested in seeing them, i replied that the pups were too young and that i'd sooner they see the adults to get a better picture of the N.I and see what they would be letting themselves in for. they duely came to my house and straight away were greeted by loki who is a very big 1 year old, who proceeded to jump all over them and non stop sniff. they were a pleasant couple, if rather staid, and the instant loki jumped on the furniture they were tut tutting. i then introduced them to inca and timber, 2 bitches, who are very well behaved and just lay on their backs with their legs in the air waiting for the obligatory tummy tickle. then i let all 7 in together, bearing in mind i have 2 dogs and 5 bitches, 2 of which were in season, so to say they saw them in the worst circumstances possible is an understatement. the boys were jumping around like loonies and the girls got over excited , and i think its safe to say, i put them off northern inuits for life. i did tell them that having 1 N.I is a whole different kettle of fish than having a pack, but they definitly arent for the faint hearted, if left alone, they will destroy the house,and suffer from seperation anxiety...they said thats ok we work form home, but wouldnt have a lot of time to exercise or do any kind of training and would an N.I be happy to lie around for hours under a desk while they work. i told them they like being walked and will happily walk as far as you are prepared to go and as for training, they really need a firm hand so they know where they stand in the pecking order, or they will take the mick. these people really werent cut out for an inuit, and i told them so, but i think they had already sussed that.

that should be a poster loved it thanks kazz!

lol I think so too...I know my dogs sure are a reflection on me, so I can't blame them!!

:smt042 :smt042 :smt042 :smt043

Well done Sue - wish all N.I. owners were like you. I tell anyone interested all the worst these dogs can do and let them meet my pack (not for the feinthearted - although I know they are harmless its an experience they will never forget!). Some people are besotted with them and want one - others leave with haste! lol

4 things i say:

Do you think you can handle a 2 engined 4X4 armourplated Ferrari?

They have 2 speeds Sleep and overdrive

The only possible way between 2 points is a straight one and this with disregard of what someone hase desided to place on this way, I remember the way the china flew last year on a BBQ

Do you mind working with your dog untill you drop?

if so yuou might consider a Malinois

Greetings


Johan

I always ask peeps would they like to come round & meet my lot but warn them to wear old clothes, usually their idea of old clothes is different to mine & the first thing they notice is my unusual *ankle* wellies with the strange serated pattern on the top, I explain they used to be knee length but over the yrs when the adults were pups they`ve been chewed down then we all go out on the front lawn, dogs as well Glens got a real cute trick, he has a little swim in the pool, comes running up to you close as he can get then shakes himself all over the nearest person he can find
Tillys little trick is to have a little dip, run to the nearest soil she can find, have a good roll in it then run back & rub herself round the nearest legs
Then the others always love to dig up & find a bone to show how clever they are & insist on being noticed by nudging visitors legs, bums hands (well just anywhere they can reach really) with them

Seriously tho I always point the things poeple might not like about them first.