You have been Too Long online if you answer more than 50% with

It is True That

Tech Support calls "YOU" for help.

Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL".

You watch TV with the closed captioning turned on.

You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out".

You've even gotten on an airplane just to meet some folks face-to-
face.

You have to get a 2d phone line just so you can call Pizza Hut.

You go into labor and you stop to type a special e-mail to let everyone
know you're going to be away.

You no longer type with proper capitalization, punctuation, or
complete sentences.

You have met over 100 AOLers.

You begin to say "heh heh heh" instead of laughing.
When someone says "What did you say?" you reply "Scroll up!"

You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the
night when your spouse is asleep.

You know more about your AOL friends' daily routines than you do
your own spouses.

You have an identity crisis if someone is using a screen name close to
your own.

You would rather tell people that your bloodshot eyes are from
partying too much than the truth (online all night).

You change your screen names so much that you have to look at your
own profile to see who you are.

You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at
the same time.

You won't work at a job that doesn't have a modem involved.

Your dog leaves you.

You have to ask what year it is.

You write a letter like this.. "dear tom, hiyas! how r u doin well I gotta
go bbl!"

You smile sideways...

You sign on & immediately get 10 IMs from people who have you on
their buddy list.

You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore
button handy.

You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer.

You have withdrawals if you are away from the computer for more
than a few hours.

You use AOL lingo in everyday life (if you still have one he he he).

You take a speed reading course to keep up with the scrolling.

Your buddy list has over 100 people on it.

Your worse comeback to a bully is "I'll slap ya w/a rubber chicken!"

You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get online
before you have your first cup of coffee.

You have your computer set so it goes directly into AOL's welcome
screen.

You don't know where the time has gone.

You end sentences with 3 (or more) periods while writing letters by
hand.

You get up at 2am to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer
instead.

You enter a room & 23 people greet you w/((hugs)) or **kisses**.

You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl, dunno and
lemme.

Your voicemail/answering machine message is "BRB, leave your s/n &
I will TTYL".

You type faster than you think.

You got your psychiatrist addicted to AOL too & are now undergoing
therapy in private rooms instead of at his office.

You want to be buried with your computer when it dies or vice versa.

You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted.

You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up

your TV screen at the end of a movie.
People say, "If it weren't for your super reflexes in your eyes &
fingers, you would have been classified as a vegetable!"

You dream in "text".
Being called a Newbie is a "MAJOR" insult.

You don't want to leave in case you miss something.

You double click your TV remote.

You think about starting a 12-step recovery group for AOL junkies.

You are on the phone a minute & need to do something else &
say "BRB" or "BBL".

You spend at least 30 minutes making sure you say goodbye to
everyone in a room.

You stop speaking in full sentences.

You have to be pried from your computer by the "Jaws of Life".

You set your kitchen on fire while cooking dinner because you wanted
to check your mail" & while there you "just wanted to see who was
online".