Another Rant - my selfish mother!

As some of you know, I like an afternoon nap for 40 mins. I don't ask for anymore than that, but I'm up at 6.00 am. I don't have a carer on a Sunday, so I'm up and down the stairs like a yo yo most of the day on a Sunday. Now this morning, I had to get up at 5.30 coz my husband had 5 of his mates coming round for an early breakfast before they went off to Brands Hatch. Yesterday, I didn't stop all day long, and Dave said I was to do nothing today and make sure I had a nap this afternoon (coz I'm old and ill myself!). I did a pile of ironing this morning, cooked a roast lunch for me and mum, swept all the leaves in the garden, bathed Georgie and attended to his crusty bits etc. plus I did everything for my Mum not having a carer today. We had an early lunch, 12 o'clock coz SHE gets tired and needs it early, and when I put her to bed at 12.30 I told her she's NOT to wake me at 3pm. when I only get to nod off at 2.45 ish and she assured me she wouldn't!!!

I have set her telly, so that she can't do this, it will come on at 4.00pm unless I'm up earlier to turn it on, but I left the remote there anyway. What happens?????? SHE wakes up at 3.15 pm. when I went upstairs for MY nap at 2.45, and decides because SHE's up and awake, she can turn the telly on as loud as SHE wants it!!!! Grrrrrrrr and wake me up in the process, when she knows, I don't get a chance to have a nap until after 2.30 or even 3 o'clock!!!!

I've told her in no uncertain terms, that in future our lunch will be 1 or 1.30 and NOT 12 or 12.30, so that she doesn't go to bed so early in the day and disturb me when I want a nap. She sleeps all blooming morning and nods off even when she gets UP in the afternoon!!! She knows how tired I was last night after a very busy day doing stuff, and she knows I got up at 5.30 thismorning and it's SUNDAY!!!!

I've put Dave's big telly on right underneath her room full pelt playing dance music, plus the one in the kitchen and I hope she can't hear her telly for the racket, and I'm sure to hell she won't be able to nod off either!!!!

Why oh why oh why, are old people so bl@@dy selfish then????!!!!! I have to lie in bed at night until her telly goes off (because I'VE set it to go off!!!) at 11.00pm when I would like to actually go to sleep at 10.30, and when I go in there sometimes to turn it off before 11.00pm she's snoring her head off, whilst I'm TRYING to get to sleep???!!!! Grrrrrrr.

I think things are gonna change around here and after my little rant to her, I told her I wouldn't be surprised if Dave actually goes up to have a quiet word with her about the fact that I need an afternoon nap too with all I have to do for her on top of everything else and because I'm up so early!!!! Oh boy, am I cheesed off!!! I'm enjoying my loud music though 'bout time it was ME who made a racket!!!!!!

Oh helena,
We need to start a club and all dissapear together

i sometimes wonder if johns father is on the saME PLANET AS US I got the Dr in cos he was back to his normal, not getting up, not eating ,drinking very little and just lying in bed,and he agreed with every thing the Dr said about eating , drinking, getting up etc, and has he changed at all since she was here has he hell.
Things will change big time when me move, apparentley he is "too busy2 to do any sorting out!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
He has all the utility bills back to the 30's.
The word skips comes to mind.
my rant over too, join me in a large one tonight Helena,
"the commode Queen"aka Jeanette

x x x

Helena Helena Helena....you know putting dance music on that loud will only start her jiving and then you joining in......................

PS Just thought she may jut ring a few friends and start line dancing then you'll be sorry.....................

Yes, this is our cross to bear isn't it Jeanette Like you probably have, I have turned my life around to accommodate her back at OUR home, I've given up sooooooo much, especially most of my time too, just like you!!! This is the thanks we get for it, coz all they think about is themselves!!! I've NEVER been like that, and nor has Dave, we are always considerate of each other in everything we do, but not her, oh no, she can just do what she likes!! Well, we'll see about that coz there's a number of things I can do to MAKE her fit in around my schedule!!! For one thing, I will take BOTH remotes away when she's snoring her head off in the afternoons and I want to lie down, and that way she can't turn her telly on until 4 o'clock or earlier if I'M UP!!! My carer has already told her about this and she just laughs and then my carer tells her what a norty girl she is in waking me up and again she just laughs!!!!!!! Not on is it!! I'm not emptying that commode this afternoon either, or making her bed, or a nice cup of lemon tea with a piece of cake, she can sit and stew!!!

I went in there earlier after I finished my rant on here, and guess what? Yes, you got it, she was snoring her head off with cartoons on the telly LOUD, so it's not as if she had something she wanted to actually WATCH is it!!! Anyway, I told her I'm going out, so she'd be left on her own. I turned off the loud dance music which I was pleased to hear was thumping away upstairs (snigger, snigger!!! ) Now she knows I never go out in the afternoon after 4, but of course I don't have Dave to worry about today, he's gone out with his mates and won't be back till 8pm. I took Georgie up on the green (I had to wake him up too!!! ), and we played with his ball, and then I gave him a lovely groom, and he was upside down groaning away, loving every minute of his new found attention in the afternoon, and I think I will do that every single day now, s*d it!!!! This also helped to calm me down and stop my heart from going haywire which of course I really don't need with a heart condition do I!!!

I even have to MAKE her go to bed at 9.30 ish at night, so that I myself can get into bed with my feet up and watch the telly, and don't have to get back up to do HER when she happens to be ready to go!!!! Anyone would think I was asking her to run an errand for me or something! She's only blooming sleeping on the sofa anyway, so what's the problem if I want to put her into bed to watch telly then??? Then, when I'm in the middle of doing everything that I could do with my eyes shut coz I do it so often, she panics about something, either the sky remote, her water, anything So I had to have a go at her about that the other night, and say I never forget anything do I???? I have a routine of how I do it, and if she interrupts it, it can go haywire and I would forget something, and the only time she can "DEMAND" (she's very good at demanding!!!) something, is when I've actually finished and about to head out the door!!!! Then she can ask me to do whatever, but not in the middle of it when I'm going to do it anyway!!!

So that's demanding and selfish so far, and I have neither of these traits!!! Well, I might, but I don't think so!!!!! When Dave hears me having a pop at her at night, I call down the stairs "make sure you shoot me won't you" and he normally replies with "what, now?"!!!!!!!

I'm not going up there, she can stew!!!!

No fear of that Kazz!!! I could though!!!

Awww Helena unlike you and Jenaette I do not have Mum living with me which is a good thing by the sounds of it.
But I get what you are saying about the selfish attitude as you know all my hard work in May setting up carers to go in and do her lunch and that was all wrong. She is now only taking her tablet for her ulcer every other day again Gill told me this, I rang her Dr earlier this year to check if she should have it every day which I was told she must and then told her she should but as it was causing her to have an upset tummy the Dr changed it to a different one.
Now she is saying this one is causing her to have an upset tummy so is now on it every other day and she knows to ring her Dr to sort this out, well I am not mentioning it anymore but who has to keep taking her to the Hospital for this that and the other, when she keeps feeling so ill.
Like Jeanette says we should have a club and all have a weekend away together.
Chin up and make time for yourself. XX

Hugs darling......... x0x0x

Hugs for you. Now get a spoon and a tub of Ben and jerrys and lose yourself in heaven
Sue

Hi Lynn, from what you've said in the past, I think both your mum and my mum are one of a kind! I know we both adore them, but jeeeze they can test your patience sometimes can't they!!! We don't give up though do we I expect by the time we're old and grey and in need of care ourselves, they'll still be bossing everyone around, demanding this and that, and will probably outlive all of us! I'm a great believer in only the good die young, and I now know why she has lived to this ripe old age, she hasn't learned how to be considerate of others and think of THEM before herself like we all have, and it's things like this that make me realise just how true that is, and my carer told me only the other day "they're all like that H" Well, I for one, won't be like that!!!

Thanks Vicki, it's not easy mate!

Well, I left her until a short while ago, which is unheard of for me, and she obviously heard what I said when I woke her up to tell her I was going out, and as I walked in there without uttering a word (again sooooo unlike me!!) did the commode, did her bed, took her some tea and juice etc. she quietly said "did you meet anybody when you went out earlier?" and I just answered in a similar quiet voice "no, I took Georgie up the green"! I said no more either! Oh how I wish I had said "yes, actually, I met a young, tall, dark, hadsome millionnaire, and he asked me why I was crying and when I told him, he said I shouldn't have to be doing all that, and he would take me to his penthouse in Paris and I could live in the lap of luxury with him forever more and forget about my c*ap life here, neglecting myself, so I'm off to pack my bags, have a nice life"!!!!! I should have done shouldn't I!!!!!

I think she knows she's upset me, she's gone very quiet, and she also knows not to apologise coz she'll get my reasons as to WHY I don't want to be woken up with her telly either 11 o'clock at night when I want to be asleep, or 3 o'clock in the afternoon when I've just nodded off!!!

When Dave comes in, if he's not too tired, I will ask him nicely if he would go up there and explain to her why it's so important I have my nap, and also why it's so important I don't stress myself out, coz if it's the end of me, then it's definitely the end of her cushy life here!!!! He won't want to do it coz he'd rather not get involved, but if he sees I'm upset or stressed he just might.

Hey bl@@dy ho then!!! Off we go again ladies!!!! No doubt June (Tawneywolf) will be adding her woes in here shortly I hope, she can destress too!

Btw, she fell over again Wednesday afternoon, and I've been caring for her even more, pandering to her every need along with it, but that'll all stop now that's for sure!!!! She didn't bruise, break or damage anything, she was just being stupid again, turning around too quickly and fell on her ass!

Just read this now, after waking up from MY nap after having the girlies at their new dog training class, 2 hours in the boiling hot sun, left Lona in the jeep for the first time ever on her own whilst I took Cariad into the Bronze class as we are starting from scratch with her, her recall with other dogs is rubbish. Lona was good as gold, I put a sunscreen on the window and a sheet over the side the sun was on, parked in the shade, sliding side windows left open, front windows open a couple of inches,left her with some toys etc etc. Absolutely no problem. I was taking Lona in the Silver class at 3pm so swopped them over and left Cariad in the jeep, same deal, windows left open etc.
Well I had just walked Lona around to download and stuff and was sat waiting for my class to begin, when this dog appeared, Oh that looks like Cariad I thought, then.... It Is Cariad she had squeezed through the sliding windows and come to find me, little madam, perish the thought she should be left on her own.My first thought was thank goodness it wasn't my Roxy, she would have had all her paintwork scratched So back into the jeep she went, side windows closed this time, felt guilty, but front windows still open and in the shade etc. That dog is like Genghis Khan I tell you, she would cause problems in an empty house
Just thought I would give you a giggle anyway, at least you haven't got Cariad there as well Helena The trainer was impressed with Lona and commented on how good she was.
Had a massive argument with MY Mum on Wednesday when I took the shopping over and took her for her pension, of course it was after these tasks had been completed. She won't let things rest, and one day she will be told exactly how I feel about everything, she is very lucky I am doing the things I do considering all the oceans of water that have gone under my particular bridge. I just said, I give up I am going, and I went there and then. If not I would have said things best left unsaid. I am lucky she is not in the same house, or rather SHE is lucky she is not in the same house, I doubt if I could have kept my hands off her for all this time. AAAAAGGGGGHHHHH!!!!!!!
Soooo tomorrow will be ringing her to remind her to have her shopping list ready for Tuesday night when I ring her for it, you can bet there will be some sarky remark waiting for me, I just know there will be. Deep breaths everyone, we will survive this, somehow...................

Lol at you June, and how very lucky you were that Cariad managed to find you!!!! I once had a dog like that, she wouldn't be left on her own either, and no matter where I was hiding, guaranteed, she would find me too!!! Oh you have cheered me up with your escapades!!!

See? We have yet another one, who we do everything for and get abused in this way! Why do they do that to us then??? I suppose coz we're the closest and they know we can take it!

On top of it all, my carer has just rung me to tell me she can't do the 3 hours tomorrow (so no escape for me yet again then, she's only just come back from her 10 day holiday!!! grrrrr!) She will pop in for one hour to bath mum and see to her and then she'll be flying off for a boiler service back at home! Don't mind me then, I'll do it all again then!! She could tell I was upset, and when I told her why, and told her you could cut the atmosphere with a knife upstairs, she sort of laughed!!!! So I did too then!!!! She'll have words with Mum for me tomorrow, she's on my side coz she's seen it all with her own mother caring for her grandma, so she knows just what we're going through my carer!

I'm still lying low, and she says she doesn't want anything to eat tonight, but then of course that's just to worry me isn't it, but I never asked WHY, I just said ok then!!!!! I bought her some lovely warm soft nighties from M & S on Friday and she loves them so much, that I've just ordered another four so that I can wash them on a daily basis and she'll always have enough, and then I spotted a nice warm fleecy bedjacket which they never had in the store, so I've ordered that too! I never even looked at anything for myself, but hopefully, I'll be able to escape out of here by Tuesday, my carer will be back to normal doing her usual 3 1/2 hours! Heeeeeeeeelp, lemme out!!!!!!