Can Anyone Please Help With Advice? (Residential Care)

My mum is very ill, currently in hospital and has been in and out of there for the last few months. Her health has rapidly deterioriated recently and we had to call ambulance and she was re-admitted yesterday afternoon.

Without going into too much depth, she has lucid moments and then 'goes' again, we tried to get her to agree to having home-help to allieviate the strain of us (brother, sister and myself) trying to cope. She refused at the time stating she didn't want anyone in her house.

The situation has worsened and even if she did agree to home help (which she can't as she cannot speak now and isn't lucid at all) - now it would not be sufficient, I don't honestly know if she will get out of hospital this time, but if she does she will require constant care. It took my brother and me all day just to get her to the point where she'd been washed, dressed, get to loo and try and get her to eat. We were there from 8.30am to 5.00 yesterday and neither of us ate anything as we were so exhausted and upset. My mum just kept breaking down weeping all the time, she couldn't see, walk, move her limbs nothing.

Does anyone know how Residential Homes work out who has to pay for residential care, if they cannot afford it do the family have to fund it? My mum has her own home and a little savings but isn't rich, nor are we.

I am not being un-caring as we would all be happy to pay as much as we could of course, but none of us have an unending budget we can draw from.

We are all so worried as to what is going to happen.

I really feel for you, it's an awful situation to be in.

I think the amount of money which is available for care is dependent on a number of factors such as income/savings and the illness etc which the person is suffering from.

I'm doing a placement on an elderly rehab ward at the mo, some of the patients who are discharged get care, and some don't.

The best people to talk to about this are social services. Physiotherapists and OTs who may be involved in care can also give advice etc. but social services would be able to advise you best.

Hope things go well for you.

Thank you for your kind reply.

We will have to get in touch with Social Services this week and see what they can advise.

Your response is much appreciated xx

This might be of help
http://www.helptheaged.org.uk/en-gb/...me/default.htm

leaving hospital for residential care.

Oh Anne-Marie, how awful for you all, including your dear Mum. I have a feeling that the Govt are making elderly people needing long-term care, pay for it by selling their properties. An outrageous thing to do to the stalwarts of this country, IMO. I hope this is not the case in your area.

As you say, Mum may not get out of hospital and IMO is in the best place at the moment. You and the rest of your family need to stay strong for each other at this difficult time, and that means giving each other breaks where possible, and most certainly eating properly. None of you will be any good to your Mum if you break down with exhaustion.

Loads of hugs and love coming your way A-M...... xoxox

First thing for you to do is contact the Social Services Department & discuss Residential/Nursing home Care Placement

Then if she doesn't already claim Attendance Allowance claim it now(she might never actually receive it if she doesn't get home but you should claim it anyway)

If your mum cannot act for herself you need to contact the Pensions Agency @ the Dept for Work & Pensions regarding appointee action so you can sort out her benefits

Then you also need to consider getting a Joint & Severally Enduring Power of Attorney with at least one of your relatives this is so you can sort out her private money. If you leave it until she is completely unable to understand you would have to apply to the Court of Protection for Receivership & that is mega expensive

If your mum is discharged from hospital into permanent Residential/Nursing Care then her home will have eventually to be put up for sale-This has been the law for many many years(over 30 !)
& not as many people erroneously believe implemented by this government
The inital funding will be from Social Services & if there is any medical care needs that will come from the NHS & then there will be an element that comes from your mums benefits. It's quite complicated, I've just gone through this with my father's wife(although their home does not have to be sold as my Father still lives there)
Just a warning be careful regarding "top up fees"as these can be met by the SSD & it is illegal(there is actually a law stating this)to use a persons own savings to pay the top up fees(i had a social worker tell me to put my father's wife's savings in my name & then use them !! not only is that illegal, I could have be charged with theft !!)

It's not simple & I used to work for the DWP !!

Hi Anne Marie

You have been given some very good advice here - and I really feel for you - its a terrible situation to be in. The only thing that I would add is be prepared to fight tooth and nail for what you feel is right for your mum as social services etc can be very lax depending on areas/budget etc. We have had many a battle with both my little brother who is now in permanent residential care as is mentally and physically disabled and has cerebral palsy and from birth my mum and dad have been back and forth trying to get him a good placement etc. And secondly with my Nonna who had a severe stroke last year and is only now getting back to her old self.

Its very hard but make sure all the family have agreed to what they feel is best for your mum and be prepareed to make sure you get it for her.

Good luck and hope everything goes ok - its a very sad situation especially when its your mum.

I'm so sorry to hear this. We went through the same with my dad. he couldn't be released form hospital because he was not lucid anymore etc and no-one could care for him at home, so the hospital said he needed a residential place. i think they gave my mum a list of places, but ultimately she had to pay...they had money form selling their house in the bank. I think they will ask you to use the money tied up in your mums house to pay for the care. Joedees advice is fantastic.
You have to be strong and don't allow them to let her out without a proper care plan in place if she is to return home. Keep questioning and keep hassling is the best advice I can give.
i'm sorry you've found yourself in this situation, I know how it feels. Big hugs.

My heart goes out to you and your family at this time. I think things are different in Scotland from England , so I daren't try to advise in case I am wrong.
I am my elderly mother's carer now and get a carer's allowance, but it is 24/7 for me, and sometimes I really do feel the strain. Hopefully your own mum's situation will soon be resolved to everyone's satisfaction, but I think it can be a legal minefield. My thoughts are with you.

So sad to hear this news Anne Marie, and my thoughts are with you at this very difficult and distressing time.

you may find this of some use:
http://www.helptheaged.org.uk/en-gb/...t/BeingACarer/

(just realised that trouble already gave you a link to there..soz)

try the carers website too:
http://www.carersuk.org/Home