thanks guys, I know you're trying hard to help me through, but it's worse today than it's been since Tuesday, I just can't stop crying today
The more I dig into my memories, the more it is breaking my heart, and you're right Kirsty, the realisation that I will never see him again has started hitting home, and there I was, so worried for Zena, and she see's me crying, comes over with her tail wagging and presents me with her ball, so I suppose we're both helping each other here.
I did speak to him this morning Azz, when we were up the top of Cissbury, I knew Zena wouldn't hear me, and I wondered if he might be walking behind, or rather lagging behind, as he always was. I remembered the first day he saw rabbits, when I was out on the bike with him and Cassie, and he took off like a bat out of hell, chasing them, but I knew he'd stand no chance of ever catching one! Cassie used to charge over to him and leap on his head and tell him off for that, she knew we didn't do things like that around here, but every time, off he went i hot persuit! It wasn't until we lost Cassie, that one morning his luck was in, off he raced as Dave and I ambled down the side of the bushes, and to our amazement, he had one in his mouth
Dave ran over to him and by the time I got there he said "you take it off him coz he's gonna bite me" lol! Give, give, give I said, no reaction........g-i-v-e Georgie, as he had it firmly in his grasp, right around the middle with both ends sticking out each side of his mouth
he gently surrendered it to me, it was already dead, but this was his prize, and I took it off him
I sooo wish I'd let him carry it back to the car at the very least!
Story of his life really, he wasn't allowed anything
, when he came to us, he had never seen inside a house, let alone a kitchen, and all those goodies that lived behind those doors, head in the fridge everytime I opened it, or in the cupboards everytime I opened them. When you let him out, he'd pee or poo every 5 mins thinking that was the last time he'd be let out for a very long while, because that was the life he was used to, wondering when the next meal was coming or when he'd get let out, it's all so darn sad, and that's what breaks my heart more than anything, I wish I found him sooner. I always felt so darn sorry for Georgie, he did everything I asked, and so quickly too, because I'm sure he worried about repercussions if he didn't. The night I gave him the "wrong" carrot as I stood at the kitchen door waiting for them to come in from their last wee of the evening (it was the smaller one and he always had the biggest!), and as I reached down to grab it back from his mouth, his little face screwed up and he cowered, his eyes clamped tightly shut
, it was then that I knew about his previous life, and as I got down and cuddled him to death to reassure him there was not going to be any pain, I promised him there would never be any more of that here with us. I'm glad I could keep that promise.
Some of you will remember how much he flirted with the girls up on the village green. The little border terrier who absolutely adored him, and would jump up to get her head into his mouth every morning
He was the gigola of Findon Village. The black lab who was his very best friend, until one morning, when he tried something ungentlemanly on old Georgie, and quick as a flash, Georgie had him upside down and flattened on the deck whilst he stood over him growling and snapping like I'd never heard from him before, but he was totally in order doing that and not a mark was left, and just as quickly as he'd done it, he moved away and left him in an embarrassed state! Oh we did laugh me and the lab owner, although I was more than surprised that Georgie actually had it in him to put his point across like this lol!
Knowing this, and looking back to when we first brought Zena home, such a fragile, tiny, furry bundle as she was, him being 55 kgs at the time, he put up with more than you could ever expect from any dog, he'd go out of his way to make sure he never laid on her, or trapped any part of her whilst they played - well, she played, he just laid down and let her do her worst lol! Cassie taught him this though, they were constantly playing, I used to have to stop them most times for fear they would die of sheer exhaustion out in the garden, and initially, his kind of play was to leap on her rear end and splat his great big paws on her back which would obviously hurt her, and she let him know, but instead of fighting, she would let out a yelp, and then walk sedately back indoors, turning her head back to him with that look of disdain that only a shepherd can quite pull off, and then she'd ignore him, until he managed to creep his way back in later, much, much later. From then on, as they raced out there to play, down he'd go, upside down, as if to say, ok, ok, if this is how you want to play I'll do it!!! Sooooo funny was old Georgie. I guess it kind of stuck, so he knew with Zena (being a female) that this is how you're supposed to play with the girls!
Now I feel better, I do have some lovely, lovely memories which I can cherish forever!xxxxxxxxxxxxx
Thankyou for the poems, the tributes, the hugs, the sad memories you have yourselves that I've managed to dig up for you, thankyou for just about everything really, I'm gonna be alright now, the tears have all dried up!xxxxxxx