Dogs and those struggling with memory.

Hi all,

For those who don't know I have spaniels, very VERY lively spaniels.

I am currently having a problem having the dogs around my grandfather, he is starting to show his age. Experiencing dramatic memory loss, confusion and after being a very passive man he has started Shouting, swearing and losing his temper. So much so even the members of the family who are children REFUSE to be left alone with him.

We are around my grandparents all the ttime at the moment as my Grandmother requires help with odd jobs, cleaning and general cooking after losing the feeling in her hands.

They have always been dog people - GSD owners for many years but my Grandfather is becoming impossible to deal with. He screams and charges at the dogs - so much so they pee in fear. I crate them in the kitchen so they are happy, safe and I can supervise (as thats where I usually am) but as soon as my back is turned he is letting them out of the crates "as its cruel" ...but only so he can yell at them.

I am explained "my rules" regarding the dogs, tool him he can't scream at them and it has no effect. Other members of the family have also tried to explain

Tbh, I am thinking I will have to stop visiting to assist my grandmother as the dogs aren't safe there.

regardless I would like to hear from anyone who has experience with this kind of thing!

quite simply you will have to make alternative arrangements for your dogs as you cannot give up on your Grandmother who must be distressed, i have been through this recently and as you can imagine your Grandfather requires help, is he on any meds as they can help initially and what was his diagnosis in terms of dementia.
Your rules mean nothing to someone with dementia he needs help and he may need respite care so as your Grandmother can rest, it is the effect on all of you that is devastating and will get worse as your Grandfather will more than likely not have a clue as to what is going on.
We had this for around 5 years and it was to be honest a time of mayhem and eventually he had to go into full time care and things returned to some normality. I hope your Grandfather is just having a blip but i would prepare yourself for a bumpy road, as for the dogs they need to be kept away as they do not understand the situation and it must be quite upsetting, i wish you the best.

Not had any direct experience but I once had an owner and dog in my class that was SUPER bright (it was a miniature poodle and I would have loved to compete in trials with it) and I was puzzled by its erratic and aggressive behaviour.

Basically, although the owner was unskilled, (but came on in leaps and bounds and was really a changed handler when I stopped teaching) her husband had dementia and would lash out at the dog.

As dogs like predictability and some control this was, understandably having a marked effect on its behaviour, so much so that I could not put her forward for Silver GCDS as the dog would have bitten the examiner.

Is it possible to leave your dogs in the car whilst you are in the house?

Put padlocks on the crates and keep the key on a lanyard round your neck.

Although I have never experienced this, I can imagine the heartache you must be suffering. TBH I would try to find alternative arrangements for your pups, your Grandmother still needs yours and your family's help. Can you imagine living all the time like that?!

Try to find an alternative for your dogs is the only suggestion I have. I do however send hugs and best wishes.

When something similar happened in our family I just had to leave the dogs home and visit alone, it's the only safe sensible thing to do as your help is still very much needed because living with a person exhibiting these symptoms is exhausting and scary.

The problem is, Help can be an all day thing. I have had to "give up" helping my grandmother. Another member of the family will look in on her every day instead and I will take her out rather than stay in.