my eldest will be 16 next june but i dont think hed ever ask for a girlfriend to stay over night cos he share a room with a younger brother so ilol be ok1!!!!

I have a fifteen year old Daughter and there is no way she'll be having any males over to sleep in the next few years - I can tell you!!!!!

When I lived with my first boyfriend (I was 19 and he 25)and used to stay with him at my Mum's some weekends, I used to sleep in my old room and my then boyfriend slept in a different room. I never expected anything else - all a case of "respect" in my eyes.

I know that a lot of people view that if they are doing "it" then they may as well be doing "it" where you know they are - but I do not agree, at all! Only when one of my children has been with their other half for a couple of years and are in a steady relationship, would I ever allow them to sleep together in my house. I hope that my view would encourage my children to see that intimacy with another person is a serious thing and that it shouldn't be taken lightly.

It appears that several people seem to feel teenage sex equals irresponsibility or a lack of respect I was a very mature teenager, knew about contraceptives and although I had sex in my parents house, I avoided being obnoxious about it and I understand that intimacy with another person is not something to take lightly. I'm almost twenty-four now, and have been involved in four serious relationships (i.e. which lasted longer than a few months), including a marriage, since I became sexually active aged sixteen. I have never had a one-night stand or had an STD, and I feel that because my mum wasn't embarrassed at the idea of me having sex, I was able to talk to her about contraceptives and feel that I was respected as a young adult.

It's true, there are some teenagers who are not emotionally mature enough to have a real understanding of what intimacy is when they are sixteen (or even seventeen and older), but some teens are quite clued up and don't think of sex as a game of "oneupmanship" against their friends.
Just my opinion, but ultimately, you parents know your kids best and should do what you feel is in their best interests.

I think if you treat your children like adults they tend to behave like adults. Obviously we have ground rules in place and they have always been observed. I have never had any problems with my childrens behaviour in my home. They know the rules and they stick to them. They're all individuals and should be treated as such, no one should feel uncomfortable with the situation.

I was talking about this recently as my friends son has his girlfriend round to stay the night. They are both 16. He said it was really wierd and he was woken by strange sounds in the night (lol).

He said that he didn't call her parents but trusted them to have spoken to them, after all they are passed the age of consent and showing them that you trust them is important. He also said he was rather they were having sex under his roof than on a park bench or in a bush somewhere.

Not sure what i would do though, i think if i was the girls mother i would want to know where she was staying and have at least spoken to one of the parents.

At 15 and a half (don't know why the half seems important). I was in a steady relationship.

My step dad is danish and they seem to be more "open" with these things.

I remember him at 16 pulling my boyfriend aside and thrusting a shoe box full of condoms in his hands. He was so embarressed bless him...he was 17.

By 16 he was allowed to sleep over with me. Although him being 17, we were not allowed in his home. His father would sternly say it was "not to happen under his roof"

My families thoughts were that they new we were serious, we where both taking precautions and he explained to my mum that we were going to do it anyway, best that we were safe...

I was with the lad for 5 years and we did buy a house togeather eventually. But never ever where we allowed to sleep togeather at his parents house.

The funny thing is we did do it at there house, they just never new....

I now have 2 kids, boy and girl and i think i would let them have people over at 16, but only when i new they were sensible enough and hopefully steady in a relationship.

hmm tough one...

i can see it from your side -your house your rules

but

at his age i would rebel as my folks wouldnt let boys stay over.....(or me at theirs)

slo when my mum goes away i had my bf stay...... rebelling really

so he may accept your rules and be good about it like i am now -
but as soon as your backs turned she may be staying over lol!

Our daughter was just 16 when she started seeing her boyfriend, he's stayed over (here) and she's stayed at his, same room same bed. Daughter is on the pill and I would rather they were in a warm bed then in a field or back of his car.

Eldest daughter doesn't have a boyfriend, but has quite a few 'boy' friends, they sleep over in her room too.

Just because it's not happening under your roof doesn't mean it's not happening, that's like sticking your head in the sand.

Can't agree that it's like sticking your head in the sand. To me, to say that a boy can sleep over and stay in the same bed is like saying it's okay to go ahead and do whatever. In my opinion, it is not okay so I would not allow it to happen. If my Daughter chose to do "it" in the back of a car or a field, then she has grown up way different to her mother and the values that we have brought her up with so, if that's what she chooses then so be it but I will have nothing to do with it, as in allowing it in my house! I appreciate that young ones have a different set of values than the ones we were brought up with but that doesn't mean to say it's right and I hope my Daughters value themselves and only become intimate with boys that they have a very steady relationship with.

But if they have no where else to go they 'may' just resort to this, this is what I'm saying. If they are already having sex, which you know about, why is it so wrong to allow them to do it at home? It's not like you're giving them the green light as they are already doing it anyway.

And just to add to your comment, my daughter is now 18 and still with the same boy. So she is in a steady relationship.