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Location: Birmingham UK
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 20,832
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Originally Posted by
Trouble
Well it seems to me that your sister is clear proof that money doesn't buy you happiness and no matter how much she spends she's never going to be as happy as you are. You don't need their approval and tbh they are probably jealous of you and the fact you know what makes you happy and they clearly don't, they're the losers no matter how you look at it.
Oh money doesn't we have said that about her, all it makes is 'her greed' for more, she is a bitter person but has it to a perfected art where she has the capability of making things sound like a 'drama' of course they only ended up with their ''average bungalow, in their average village, because Malcolm couldn't find another job in the
whole of Birmingham after being made redundant 12 years ago........so they had to moved as that was the only place that he could find a job...........in a huge beautiful garden centre and of course that left her lonely so Mom moved there too
and if you believed that you would believe anything....nothing to do with the 4 bank accounts that
ANN is looking after in Moms interest
Originally Posted by
rune
Would you want them in your life if they were not relatives?
I found it helpful with one 'friend' to write and say that I thought our relationship had run its course and wish her luck in the future. It was a weight lifted because the decision was in writing and felt right.
It may work for you.
As for your boys, it must hurt so much for them to be rejected as well but maybe they need to work that out for themselves. They know you love and want them and that is important.
rune
Honestly Rune..........NO. I wouldn't of picked Ann as a sister or Mom as a mother, the boys ignore Ann and Malcolm as their Nan being 90 they feel that they owe it to keep that part of their lives open, I wouldn't want any other way either, they are grown men and free to do as they wish. Both have said though that if Ann has such venom about the will, they will go without too
Originally Posted by
Lynn
Awww Steph sometimes we just cannot live up to the the brothers or sisters that are seemingly in our parent/s eyes the better ones. I have given up this time around with the younger of my two brothers he can have mum and all her troubles which he has opted to do this time around and she most politely put I didn't want you here I want Paul. Fair enough after all the years of running round behind you I will sit back and take a rest from it all he will soon be wanting rid of all the bother and frustration that comes out of these incidents she has.
I go to see her and I ring the hospital and enquire after her and thats it its hard its new to me I have always been the one doing everything but I must say I am enjoying not having all the stress.
The thing is you have so much you have good friends, you have Pat you have a life that probably rankles both your sister and your mum. Most of all like I can you can stand tall and know you have and still do love your children and you have a big enough heart to take in another that needs love and guidance. I am sorry to say I went through an awful change too never once did I beat my boys or make their lives a misery it wasn't their fault. Your mum had no excuses. Maybe I am out of place saying this but she hid behind her problems and blamed and picked on you.
You have ten fold what your mum and sister have and they see it and don't like it and know you are good person and they are not. Jealousy is a terrible thing it is eating away at those two I am sure. They are smarting from your success and happiness.
I know what Mom's problem was/is. She (when younger) had the idyllic dream of being like Dads sister and brother..'one child' all growing up together of near the same age, they had many holidays as a group, having caravans etc., Mom coming from a huge family this was her ideal family unit....then along came me, and I spoilt those Sunday outings and holiday, Dad used to go to theirs on a Sunday without her...taking Ann with him, so I ended up having most of my childhood at my Nans on the farm......TBH those are my treasured memories
See even then they couldn't beat me as I adored my Nan, the farm, the animals etc etc., which my Mom and sister didn't
Originally Posted by
spockky boy
I am sat here thinking my childhood sounds all too familiar, except I am the older one.
I grew up in a house where violence and drink were very much 'normal'. My dad had and has always made me feel like anything I do/did/want to do just isn't good enough. The fact he stole my inheritance money from me since I was 12 when my mum died says it all, but my brother
will get his share when he turns 18 years old. Thankfully I still have a relationship with my little brother but there is 6 years between us, and due to his learning difficulties there is more like 7-8 years between us. Due to this he doesn't fully understand what has gone on. However, he did say he wanted to come live with us once he finishes school because he hates living at home because of my dad.
I left home when I was 16, best thing I ever did. Not spoken to my dad in a few years either He doesn't even recognise my voice anymore, within 3 months of leaving home deleted my number. If it wasn't for my horse and my OH I not sure I would still be here.
Sometimes these things happen for a reason, and even though some these events aren't always pleasant I would not change how things panned out because I know I wouldn't be as happy as I am today (even if I have been landed with a £600 vet bill for my poorly horse!)
Funny when you ask the questions I asked how many people have suffered the same. I was on the streets of London and returned to Birmingham almost 2 years had passed I went to their house...my house where I was brought up....knocked the door my Dad came to open it and was
and
both at the same time.............Mom said, we've got company tell her to go away
so I did, only when her 1st ever grandson came did she so desperately want to build bridges....I should of said the same to her all those years back instead of putting myself right back to where I started