This post for men only...repeat men only!!!!!

Remember, in the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman
happy. Do something she likes, and you get points. Do something she
dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing
something she expects. Sorry, that's the way the game is played. Here is a
guide to the points system:

SIMPLE DUTIES
You make the bed..............................................+ 1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows....-1
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets...................-2
You leave the toilet seat up..................................-5
You replace the toilet paper roll when it is empty............+5
When the toilet paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex...-1
You go out to buy her extra-light panty liners with wings.....+5
in the rain.............................................. .....+8
but return with beer..........................................-1
and no panty liners...........................................-25
You check out a suspicious noise at night.....................+1
You check out a suspicious noise and it is nothing.............0
You check out a suspicious noise and it is something..........+5
You pummel it with a six iron.................................+10
It's her cat............................................... ...-40

AT THE PARTY
You stay by her side the entire party..........................0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat
with a school drinking buddy..................................-2
Named Tiffany........................................... ......-5
Tiffany is a dancer...........................................-10
With breast implants..........................................-20

HER BIRTHDAY
You remember her birthday.....................................+1
You buy a card and flowers....................................+2
You take her out to dinner....................................+5
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar..........+10
Okay, it is a sports bar......................................-10
And it's all-you-can-eat night................................-20
It's a sports bar, its all-you-can-eat night, and your face
is painted the colours of your favourite team.................-30

A NIGHT OUT WITH THE BOYS
Go with a pal............................................... ...0
The pal is happily married....................................+1
The pal is single............................................ .-10
He drives a Ferrari...........................................-20
With a personalized license plate (GR8 NBED)..................-30

A NIGHT OUT WITH HER
You take ! her to a movie.....................................+2
You take her to a movie she likes.............................+5
You take her to a movie you hate..............................+8
You take her to a movie you like..............................-5
It's called Death Cop III.....................................-10
Which features Cyborgs that eat humans........................-20
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans.........-30

YOUR PHYSIQUE
You develop a noticeable pot belly............................-5
You develop a pot belly & exercise to get rid of it...........+10
You develop a pot belly and resort to loose jeans and baggy
Hawaiian shirts............................................ ...-30
You say, "It doesn't matter, you have one too."...............-100

THE BIG QUESTION
She asks, "Does this dress make me look fat?"
You hesitate in responding....................................-10
You reply, "Where?".......................................... .-35
You reply, "No, I think it's your arse".......................-100

COMMUNICATION
When she wants to talk about a problem:
You listen, displaying a concerned expression.................+1
You listen, for over 30 minutes...............................+5
You relate to her problem and share a similar experience......+50
You have fallen asleep........................................-200

And here's the clincher.

ITS THAT TIME OF THE MONTH.......
You talk.............................................. ........-100
You don't talk.............................................. ..-100
You spend time with her.......................................-100
You don't spend time with her.................................-100
You are seen enjoying yourself................................-100


Geoff

that is funny geoff

:smt044

Not bad at all, but you left one out......

You breathe................................ - a zillion

Snorri

No G3off ,I am not a man and I am looking but then you knew we all would didn't you cos we gals on here are all norty mmmm :smt017 all I can say is some men must have very strange wives

:smt044 @Mini

G30ff - That's a good one and yes, I had to look too

Only -100 points on that one!!!!

Cummon Geoff more like -1000 U need to spend more time around us women

Ooooh thats the best offer I've had all day Staffy ....

Geoff u couldn't cope with me mate