How Would You Feel?

My sister has two kids (well one 6yrs and one 16yrs going on 50!!).

Since birth I've always spent quite a lot on presents and always split birthdays and christmas pressies separately as theirs fall quite close to one another.

My sister can be quite strange at times and this year when I wanted to give my nephew his presents she said she would collect them from me the following week as she was 'busy' that day.

I was a bit affronted however I wrapped them and gave them to her today.

Tonight she phones me asking if I would take them back to the shop as the Art set I bought him she said someone had used the crayons and the pens had hardly any ink left AND that someone else had bought him the other gift I gave so could I swop them! I cannot see that anybody would use the pens in an art set and I did check it was a full set though admittedly didn't try each pen to see if it was okay!

I told her I didn't have the receipts (bought them at christmas and it was through at Carlisle which is 50miles from here0 - but said if she was unhappy she could try and take them back.

She then said she didn't go there much and could I take them back for her!

Am I being sensitive here or do you think that is rude? Please be honest because at the moment I am on the verge of phoning her back and telling her so!

I think thats ignorant

I wouldnt even tell someone if they had given me a present and i didnt like it

What happened to "its the thought that counts"

i am probably the wrong person to answer as me and my sister...well best to not go there.
I think she is being really ignorant to be honest. Put it this way, if that was my son...he would be on the phone to you saying thanks.:smt002 If the art set was damaged as she said, I may quietly ask if you still have the receipt and where you got it and explain why, but that would be it, especially if where you got them was so far away. As for duplicate pressies..you smile and say thanks and give the duplicate as a birthday pressie for one of his friends, saying nothing. My son is being taught it's very much the fact that someone has been out and thought about him that counts, not the gift. :smt002

So it isn't just me then!

The thing is I don't actually believe her that the crayons and pens were used as I bought it from a very nice shop and even checked the contents before buying were intact. I would have noticed. It was at Thomas The Tank art set, really cute and he loves drawing.

The other gift was a Spirograph-type of set - again I knew he'd like it but she said someone else had bought him one similar

I agree, I think that is rude. You should tell her how you feel and try to straighten it out. And if it is a problem with someone else buying the gift maybe ask her what they want for their birthdays, Christmas etc. so that it saves you the aggravation of being put down.

honestly............cant she send them back to the manufactor and ask for a replacement?
or exchange for some thing else the shop isnt going to deal with it without a proof of purchase and then because you brought in dec i think would said its your nephew thats used them.

i always ask my sister what the girls want for birthdays etc so it gets them some thing they have choosen or no double gifts.
short of that give them the cash and let her go with them to a shop and buy the present.
but yeah i would take that the wrong way as well and would say something.

I agree wholeheartedly with Ramble. Its not you at all just let it lie now and yes I would give the other gift away as a birthday present or other to another person at a different date, I would not hurt their feelings by saying they had already received one so ignore her. I get fed up by family not saying thank you, its so appreciated a few kind words yet why do they just atke and never say thanks, thought I had taught my Son good manners but now hes married to a spoilt lady he is not teaching his own children to say thanks, I do it for them all!!! I just feel the world getting too greedy and forgetting about caring love and kind words

No it's not just you!

I would be very insulted if I had brought someone a present and they said that to me.

As Ramble has said, you discreetly give duplicate presents to someone else. I recieved 2 copies of Pirates of the Carribbean 2 for Christmas, so rather than offend anyone I have given the second copy to my sister.

As for saying the art set had been used, I suppose it's possible that a child had drawn with the crayons while in the shop. My niece picks up any crayon she sees - she is art crazy! But then I would have thought it was unlikey that they would have put them all back in the box so neatly that you never realised when you looked at the present.

I think she has a bit of a cheek, personally if I was in her position, I would not have the nerve to ask you to take them back I would be too embarrassed.

No wonder I always stick to gift tokens and cash, funny they never complain they got two lots of dosh.