That would be what I would do....after all why is someone he has known for all of 5 mins all that important??? xx

+1 on all this. HOWEVER, before you consider that the only course of action is to go undercover do have a GOOD think first if you're ready for all outcomes.

I know this sounds daft, but I've been in a similar situation with an ex (we too had a long term relationship, engaged etc). When I found out she was playing away with one of her managers, I could handle it. Finding out that she'd played more away games than Manchester United with at least 8 other people who I was supposedly friends with was a real bitter pill to swallow.

Lets just say that police were involved and I did have to go to court, and im very lucky indeed to be here at home typing this and not passing the soap to some grease monkey called 'tiny'.

Having hindsight is a wonderful thing, and I do sincerely agree with trusting instincts, but is it insecurity rather than guilt you're identifying? It might be worthwhile asking if you can sit in one of his conversations and/or talk to her directly without him being present. This would give you a good idea as to how founded your instincts are based on his reactions. Similarly, you can use tactics such as 'i've brought you a cuppa' and having a quick look at the screen. If he hides it, you can simply ask to have a look. Again, a few candid questions such as 'what've you got to hide?' may prompt a few responses to confirm or deny.

If, after all this, you do feel like there is something going on, you are quite in your rights to sit down and simply explain that you dont enjoy the fact that he's using messaging software to talk to ladies and that you'd appreciate it if he would stop, especially to this particular woman. If he argues the toss, you can offer suggestions such as letting you in on the conversations, reading logs of conversations etc.

Everyone admittedly may be interested in talking to people, and some readily welcome interest from male/female parties, but without sound evidence and reasoning you're giving up 6 years+ of essentially fine relations.

Its a fine line to play, but if he really does love you, he will stop doing whatever in order to keep relations sweet with you.

Good luck!

I'm so sorry, just caught up with this and have read all through. So pleased that you had it out with your OH.
I agree with everything everyone has said on here.

He must now end all contact with her, after all you have been together a long time and he has "known" (if that is the right word because you can never really know anyone you meet on MSN I imagine) her for such a short while.

Insist that he does not meet her on Monday. If he says he is going to, then say you would like to go along to meet her too, so she can see how the land lies.

I am glad you are feeling better about things, but you are going to have to stay one step ahead of her, she sounds a real manipulator.

Take care xx

Pleased you talked to him Hun...not going to say anything as I think all the others have made the oint to you.....just wishing you both all the very best and hope you get things back on track

ps........take time to go out more with each other

You can't let him still go and meet her on Monday can you! Can you??? I couldn't!!! Not after you've now had a good discussion about things surely? That wouldn't be right at all if he still went.

Having a friend of the opposite sex is one thing, maybe someone you've known from childhood, or other times, maybe someone you both know together, BUT, having a NEW friend of the opposite sex that you choose to keep private from your existing o/h, who you've met on the internet, someone who persists in turning off the camera when you walk into the room is definitely a big no-no in my view! You should be his friend as well as his fiance, unless it's an old acquaintance, end of! This is far too risky if he's still thinking he's going on Monday!!! He wouldn't if it were me, coz he'd have his bags packed after his little day out! Please don't let him go, you'll be asking for trouble. He's seen her on the webcam, he might/might not be attracted to her, but don't believe him if he says he's not either! He's held long conversations with her too, what more do you need to start up a relationship with the opposite sex??? If there's more then please tell me coz I obviously missed a lot in my previous life!!!!

Take the better option, get him to send her that e-mail with you standing behind him, get rid of her, she's trouble, I can smell it from here!

All men can't help but satisfy their curiosity, unlike us we can take it or leave it, we don't have that "lust" thing going on that's built into us as much as them (mind you, I see my memory's still working ok!!!)If you let him go on Monday whether you follow him or not, you'll regret it, I can see it from here!

Just enjoy each other now that you've kind of got back on track and try and make it like it was before all this happened, which I'm sure you can and he'll want that too if he's worth it!

Agree with all of the above.

He must end this "friendship" NOW!! I got all that "shes just a friend" crap, he may see it that way but doesnt sound like she does, if he still insists on going to meet her and still insists its totally innocent then there is no reason why you cant both meet her (not that i would want to) if he values your relationship at all he will do what makes YOU happy, which is to end it.

Good luck I hope he does the right thing and big hugs to you for being so brave xxxx

Hun, are you ok? xxxx

I met my OH on the net, and used to have a lot of friends of the opposite sex who were just friends.
I can remember one who was telling me about this lady he had 'met' on the net... boy was he sucked in! He ended up leaving his wife and children to go and see her.
Did it last? nope
Was I right? yep
I told him all along to stop being a silly infatuatde fool, first bit of flattery from another woman and he was besotted.
It was a big mistake, in the reality of daylight she was NOT for him, and luckily he went back to his family. I told him he was lucky his wife would have him back esp after doing that to his little girl who was 7 and so upset.

So there you go, that man had me, another woman trying to talk sense to him and he still let his dinkle rule his head!

Do not let him go on Monday. Get him to write that e-mail and block her from his msn. Also get him to turn off his 'record history' button if he is still going to chat online.
Tbh, I'd try and get him to take a break from it for a while. Try and have some time together, no matter what it costs have a weekend together, a meal out and remind what it is that got you together in the first place. You both need 'couple' time.

We're all here for you, there's a lot of sense in our experiences, believe it or not!

Hi hun, have just caught up with the rest of this thread hope you are ok??? Im glad you managed to talk to him and get some things in the openm...but he MUST end the wierd relationship he has with this'woman' now.....if he doesnt then he isnt being true to you......dont let her ruin your relationship, as it certainly appears that she is trying her best to do that xxxxxx

Hi everyone, sorry if I have cause anyone any worry about not being around the past day or so, have just been so tired and busy, managed to get on to read some of your replies but haven't had a second to sit and write a reply.

I have asked him not to go on Monday and he has promised me that he won't go and I have also explained that I'm not very happy about him talking to her again, he has now blocked her on messenger and showed me that he has.

It's still hard knowing that he was prepared to lie to me about where he was going, whether he was doing it to protect my feelings or not, they're more hurt now than they would have been had he just told the truth. I guess that's something I now need to get over and move up and on.

Thanks so much to all of you again x x x x x x