What would you do?

Need to know if I am being insensitive or bit silly?

Ok scenario.
A mother of a little girl who I met through a playgroup, get on quite well with and may be moving into my street in the not too distant future.

Met her today at soft play and she was asking me about my dog, and i was showing her pics of bruno and luca onmy phone etc.

Anyway said to her that we must get together etc, she emailed me this evening to say that she would love to come to my house, but she would not come if i did not either put bruno in the garden or MUZZLE him..... as she is scared of dogs, and acknowledged that even though I say he is a big softy, he doesnt know her or her daughter he might suddenly turn on them????

I tried to reassure her that there is no way I would have a dog that i didnt feel was safe with my own child never mind anybody elses.

Thing is I never put Bruno in the other room if i get visitors, am kind of the opinion that you take me as you find me and deal with the dog, who by the way doesnt jump up, or bark etc and is incredibly gentle with kids especially.

I told her that i would like her to meet him and that if she was still really worried then i would put him in the bedroom but that I would not ever muzzle him as he doesnt need it, and I also said that she should meet him and let her daughter meet as it might help her fear of dogs ( i imagine her daughter is probably scared too as she doesnt sound as if she has ever let her touch one etc)

What would you do, what is expected and I am being a bit oversensitive or would you be offended if someone suggested that your dog would suddenly turn and attack someone and their child?

any opinions appreciated - even if you think I am being silly..

No, I think you are being reasonable.

You have offered to introduce them and if they are still nervous, you will put him in another room.

If that isn't enough for them then I think I would meet somewhere else for coffee

Hi Dani,

I walk my daft two down the road and I have seen mothers with small children walk the other way or cross the road Even though, if I pass anyone in the street I always walk to one side - grass verge side, and both boys have their short lead.

The fear of unknown, as is with this young mum and her child.

I agree, maybe introduce them gradually, but do not think your dog should be muzzled. Maybe a baby gate, so they can all see each other initially ?? Just an idea, i expect many more will come along x

Well (and this is just me) I would be a lttle taken back that someone would suggest that I did either of those things. I think I would of said that unfortunately i wouldn't be willing to muzzle or put him outside, as this would make him feel jealous or that he had done something wrong. As he plays lovely with Luca it hardly suggests that he would suddenly turn, I would therefore suggest that if she would like to come round a see that Bruno is a gent, then she is more than welcome to, but that as you have no wish to upset the happy balance in your home between dog and visitors Bruno would obviously have to be given a chance.

If it was me, Bruno would be coming first. If this lady is not willing to try to meet Bruno (and it sounds like she has passed her fear onto her child, sadly) then that would be the end of it for me. I see no reason to "punish" Bruno when he's such an old softy.......

HTH

x0x

see this is EXACTLY how i feel about it, but was trying to say the right thing, when i actually felt like saying dont be so flaming stupid my dog is a total wuss !!

It kinda made me mad, as she suggested that the kids might end up fighting and the dog would "go" for her child as he would be protective of Luca ( i made the mistake of mentioning that he was protective of the buggy when he was little)

I truly get the impression that if he was a yorkie it would be fine as she asked me specifically "what kind " of dog i had ..... but then i think im being paranoid as i get a bit sensitive to staffy bashing !!

oh i dont know what to do now, i have another friend who used to come round and she drove me mad as she is scared of dogs and used to screech in a higher voice whenever bruno came near her daughter - her daughter is now terrified of bruno and if he so much as comes in the room she goes running to her mum crying !!! meantime Luca and the other wee girl that comes are actively encouraging Bruno to play so he doesnt know what he has done wrong if i then have to put him out the room.....

I think you have done the right thing and although I often get condemned for it I am of a 'love me love my dog' kind of attitude, I will put Maddy out as she barks at stranger - fair enough that's her problem and I can't expect people to be ok with that as it can be quite daunting even for other dog owners.

I had a pal come round not too long ago scared of dogs - to my mums where Sadie is and she is the most placid dog on the planet, she asked me would there be dogs around and I said just one and that I wouldn't shut her out but told her not to worry as she wouldn't bother her at all, she wanted to wait outside if I didn't put the dog out (we were getting ready for a night out!) but myself and my 2 other pals managed to persuade her to come in and Sadie didn't even so much as sniff her. My friend took a while to settle and never touched Sadie or anything but she sat in the same room as her (Sadie just laid down sleeping) and that was the first time in her life she had been so close to a dog for any period of time and she's in her 30's....

Hope it all goes well Dani. x

Pat has a daughter that has spread ''fear'' onto our grandaughter, she screams at the top of her voice, I was asked if I would put the 3 into the kitchen......sorry the answer was NO, as I said to my Step-daughter, they are the ones with the fear and my dogs live with kids (fostered) so I am not breaking that trust just to suit her. So we go to thiers.

It would be interesting to see whether she was scared of all dogs - I think that would change my view slightly.

I think its difficult for any of us to imagine what it must be like to know nothing about dogs and therefore to fear them. As an example, for those who are really scared of spiders, if you went to a house who had a pet one running round the lounge, would you still go if they refused to put it out the way, even though the person had assured you that it woudn't hurt you?

I'm not saying that her fear is rational and I'm definitely not saying that you should agree to muzzle Bruno, but just trying to show how someone who is genuinely scared of dogs might feel.

can totally see your point, i think that she has decided that he is a threat as he is a staffie but dont think she is going to admit that .... and then i thought I was being paranoid.

will wait and see what she says, if she is not willing to meet him at all, even if i then put him in the bedroom - then i am not willing to invite her in my home to be honest...