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Vicki
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Location: In a land far, far away
Joined: Sep 2005
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25-05-2007, 05:46 AM

Good morning everyone !

Morning all,

Not too sure what today is going to bring, weatherwise. Currently, it’s a bit grey, but fairly warm. I did check the weather forecast last night, but the daily forecast for today and today’s weather on the five-day forecast said different things. Perhaps this is just the BBC covering their ar*e

Yesterday was spent running around trying to buy a digital volt-meter and four 10mm nut spinners. Believe it or not, I had to order these and they’ll be in today. Mind you, I don’t mind getting out of the office regularly, so I shan’t moan…..

Friday’s finally here folks, and it’s a long weekend – I don’t even care if it rains!

Have a great day everyone, and stay safe

Today’s gem – long but sooo worth it :

Making a Baby
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and decided to use a surrogate father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now. The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in, embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you really?" said the photographer. "Well, that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped. Please come in and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is fun. You can really spread out there."
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, Ma'am, none of us can guarantee a good one every time. But if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes, but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well - when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with."
"She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
"Yes, I'm afraid so. I finally had to take her to the park to get the job done right. People were crowding around four and five deep to get a good look"
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes wide with amazement.
“Yes", the photographer replied, "and for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling - I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my equipment, I just had to pack it all in"
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes. Well, if you're ready, I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted
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mj
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25-05-2007, 06:04 AM
Morning Vick, morning all,

well just posted the builders are here well now they've gone did the grand total of half an hours no idea when they will be back!!! its driving me loopy. Quiet day today not much on usual washing etc!!

have a good day all.
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Phil
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25-05-2007, 06:10 AM
Really sunny here (just now) so the sunglasses are out for drive up to Aberdeen !
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Vicki
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25-05-2007, 06:11 AM
Morning Mel
Morning Phil
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Deccy
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25-05-2007, 06:31 AM
Morning all,
@ today's gem....
Having my TV aerial fitted toay, we'll see if they actually turn up, better not start the plastering until they've been
No bank holiday here until next weekend when we have our version of Crufts, big do this year as we move to FCI fully and Dalmatians go into Group 6, scent Hounds.... Deccy has been practising by keeping his head on the ground and sniffing with great enthusiasm, I keep telling him he has to show like before, not imitate a hound in the traditional manner - so, quiet weekend working on the house, no shows for a change.
Weather - can't decide, the sun has just peeped out but there are some cloudy bits as well. Hoping it stays dry so I can put another coat of paint on the front door.....
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Vicki
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25-05-2007, 06:32 AM
Morning Gill
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Vodka Vixen
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25-05-2007, 06:35 AM
Morning Vicki, morning all

Feels really warm but looks like rain, just in time for the bank holiday as usual but at least i have no work, got caught up in the mess when they shut London Bridge the other day, took me 2 hours to get home and made me 45mins late picking Mia up from school, i was not a happy bunny.

Have a great day all xx
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Lynn
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25-05-2007, 06:37 AM
Morning Vicki,morning all sun out here for now don't know if it will be out all day they have threatend spots of rain later.
Might colour my hair today and going to watch my video of Hustle I missed lastnight.Aswell as the housework

at todays gem.
Have a good day everyone.
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Toby
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25-05-2007, 06:38 AM
Morning all, it's quite nice weather wise here today Mind I have just watched bbc weather and tomorrow is going to be ok, but Sunday & Monday is a total wash out, unless you are in the far north west of Scotland. Thats where we are off to in July by which time, i expect the weather situation to be in total reverse
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Sweep
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25-05-2007, 06:48 AM
Morning Vicki - Sunny here, not quite as warm, nice breeze, much more comfortable then yesterday Think we are due Showers throughout day
Have a good day

Morning All
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