I know, I'm just so sad without her, I'm trying to get my life on track but everytime I do something bad happens - got my house, and new job, which I despise! I'm supposed to be going to Uni, but I don't know if I can afford it, as the new job doesn't necessarily pay overtime for any hours I work, I only get commision after i hit targets Its sucky, and the basic wage is 5 grand lower than what I was on.....

Just seem to mess everything up! But if this doesn't work, I'm opening a bar abroad, I've had it with Britain, Britain SUCKS!

Hi Lorna, just read all through this.
I cannot agree more strongly with Becky and Sam. Please, please take the advice they are offering - it is good and it is right.

I know you are feeling low at the moment, but it is still early days, the job is new and you are still finding your feet there.
The thing to bear in mind is that it is a job - give it a chance but if you find you really aren't going to like it then start looking around - I think it is always easier to find a job when you have a job, plus the pressure is off to a degree financially too.

You will come through this hun - but you need to close the door to your ex - it will do you no good at all.
Take care xx

But were you not sad with her? You say you totally adore her and yet then say you wouldn't have minded her seeing someone else too when you were married? Firstly, I bet you would've. Secondly, what does that say about the way you think about yourself? Thirdly, what would Finn have made of all that?

Now I do remember that when you were first on Dogsey you were a law student, and that is what you want to do again?
You seem to be hurtling through life from one thing to another, relationships, jobs, plans without stopping to smell the roses as they say.
I remember the thread where you were going to foster your dogs out and both of you were going to, was it Saudi, for you to sing?
Then you were going to do photography.
Then wedding singing etc here.
Now I know you are good at both of those, so you could do both to earn more in your spare time but you can't have it all.
I remember you saying that Tracy wasn't too keen on moving abroad, leaving the dogs and taking Finn away too, and I can understand that.

You need to get some stability, some realistic plans, and stick to them.
You're a singer, ok so is that a viable means of making a living?
Same with photgraphy?
Law? Is that what you really, really want to do, as you have given it up before, and as someone else on here has said you will need a tougher skin than you have now to do it well.

I'm not saying any of this to try and tell you what to do, just because I care and because I can see things from a different angle.... and of course I have more years on you!
I could sit here and type away 'Oh yes Lorna that'll be great, good luck' but I think you actually deserve more than that and need a realistic look at your life.
You are a great girl, you don't need to be with someone to be happy, give it a try!

God, I feel like a life coach!

But excellent advice- perhaps you should be thinking of a career change Becky?

lorna you know my feelings!

you need to cut all contact with her, grab yourself and give yourself a big shake and work out what you want to actually do!!

then take time apart and be single...you say you cant move on as there is no one else!!

well yes there is

there is you!

so for gods sake, do yourself a favour and stop pining for someone who doesnt want you...

i know its harsh and ive said harsher to you on the phone/msn

but you really do need to!

Listen to becky and the other advice
you cant see the wood for the trees until you actually step back and look at the bigger picture.

you have given me the same advice over the past week or so but wont listen to it yourself!

Lol There's money in that you know Bec

OK, when I was with Tracy we went to Egypt on hols and I sang when I was out there and got offered a job, I was all set to take it when Tracy changed her mind, I know why now (we spoke about it the other night) as she wasn't sure about us, and didn't want to be over there and have no where to come home to if she had to leave.....

Singing around here, isn't viable, I don't do it as much anymore, but do it as a sideline with my friend Thom for weddings etc.
Photography, is great, but again, there are a LOT of photographers around her....so really its only viable part time, which again I am doing.....

As for Law, I was doing it, and I was doing really really well, but I fell down the stairs and had the cyst on my brain discovered, I was paralysed for a bit and couldn't get to uni - missed loads and decided I'd rather leave and potentially return than get a **** grade for my first year.....asfor having thick skin yes I agree with you there, but I have three years to work on that - and if I decide its not for me, I have a degree in Law and will have more options open to me....

BUT if it doesn't work, as in if I can't financially do it, then I'm out of here lol! I hate the UK, the second I can leave I'll be gone! I can't stand all the memories, I want to be somewhere new - a completely blank canvas, start over, and that will either happen when I finish my law degree, or when I can't afford uni......

I know you're all right, I need to move on. Ok, shoulders back, head high.....

x

Right, who's for popping round Lorna's and giving her a jolly good talking to!

Coz I would if I thought she'd blooming well listen!

As for me being a Life Coach.... there was one who started doing my French lessons with me, he said he was a Life Coach and well all looked at each other until my friend Julie piped up 'Just exactly what do you do?'.
Must've been a pants one as he only lasted two lessons.

I couldn't charge people good money for what is just common sense.

You know Lorna, that's very good but you managed to answer everything without actually admitting Tracy is a cow.
Sorry, but you should be angry at her, not keep going on how things were your fault, YOU were difficult to live with, YOU were smothering her, etc etc etc.
SHE was the one who should've said at the time that she was unsure, BEFORE she went with anyone else behind YOUR back!
You can be civil, if you ever needed to speak to her and I don't see a reason why you'd need to, but stop making excuses for someone who really, really hurt you, and will continue to hurt you if you can't let go.

Move along please.

Becky you do make me smile!

That's great, but are you listening, and not just to me?

Do you know how many secret reppies I get from threads like this, coz this isn't the first time I and others, have tried to talk some sense into you?
Secret reppies from people who read and agree but just don't post.
Comments like 'great advice, let's hope she listens', etc etc.
So a lot of people care, and would LOVE you to leave Tracy in your past and move on. People who don't know you personally but can see from you posts it is the ONE thing that HAS to happen before you can sort things out.