Appropriate ways of disciplining children

So what do you believe to be appropriate ways of disciplining children. Time outs? Removal of favorite items? Grounding? Spankings?

I don't have any children, and I have long since decided that they are not for me... that being said, I'm against physical forms of punishment for kids as much as I'm against it with dogs.

I have seen some parents here be rather "forceful" with their kids and it makes you cringe. I saw a lady backhand a little child rather hard, causing him to fall off of a slide at the park.

When he began to cry, she just winged him up by his arm and trudged off to the car with him. Hate to imagine his punishment once they were home, out of sight.

I will admit, I have seen children swearing at their parents, with the F word and everything. These are small children, too so it's baffling to me. I did NOT swear at such young ages.

I have even seen them kicking and punching their parents in a fit of "tantrum" but don't think knocking the kid down with an open handed blow to the face is appropriate. See it often enough though, in stores, in parks, everywhere.

I have even seen kids laying on the ground in a tantrum lifted by their hair... which is just WAY out of line.

How about this? This is fairly common as well...



Is the reasonable? Or is it over the top? Why can't she just hold his hand? Perhaps as someone with no children... I don't understand how difficult they can be. But it seems unnecessary to me.

Years ago harnesses were a common sight, they progressed to ones that go round the wrist.

There is nothing in that video that seems unnecessary to me, she (the mother) probably knows her child and being in a busy centre knows he will run off, so she making sure he stays put.

Yes parents lose it at times with kids, some go way over the top, but to be honest ask any parent who has had a screaming toddler to deal with, and they will tell you how close they may have come to losing it.

Screaming toddlers can test your patience like nothing else in the world.

In all honesty, he was just being an awkward little tuss by walking backwards, rather than being dragged!

' Reins' were popular when I was little and I have a photo of me somewhere circa very early 70's wearing them. Personally I think they're great, stops little ones running off, but still giving them the independence of free (ish ) walking.

No, kids shouldn't be beaten or abused, but, IMO there are far too many teenagers and young adults these days who clearly could have done with a good spanking in their childhood, one of my own step-children falling well into that category.

As legend as it (...or as my parents tell me) I was nearly kidnapped as a toddler.
Walking through a shopping centre holding mums had, as you do, random person walks past and takes me other hand and leads me away
Real parents rescued me... or maybe thats what they want me to think
Don't think baby leads/harnesses are such a bad idea!

Belting a child... just like with dogs, violence is not the answer. Hit a child and what is stopping that child from thinking such aggression is an ok response in the future?
Catch more flies with honey than with vinegar

Well I think you start as you mean to go on, I'm not adverse to tapping a child on the hand or butt to warn against touching the cooker, plug sockets etc before the child is old enough to understand reason. Once the child is old enough to understand no means no and they still persist I would send them to their room. I have been known to raise my voice but would never be abusive. I did once have a toddler that threw himself on the ground screaming and shouting because he couldn't have his own way. I walked away and watched from a distance, he very rapidly saw sense and came looking for me. I have never believed in getting into arguments with them, I'm the adult and need to be seen as such even if I'm screaming inside. I've got a great relationship with both my kids, (grown men) because I did always listen to them and what they wanted, and if I was going to say no I'd not only explain why but usually offer alternatives that I was happy with.

Well I was never beaten as a child, never got a single spank or anything even though apparently I was a bit naughty but also hyper sensitive. I think I turned out well enough (and so did my siblings) without too much disciplining. I find it more important to have a bond with my family and not do certain things out of love and respect, and not out of fear of being hit.
Also, me and my siblings had to learn things by ourselves. Some people might call my mum irresponsible, but I agree with her that to a point you need to let your kids make mistakes in order to learn in life. And mum's role is then to be there for the kids if they decide they need help (it was just mum for me, but this would apply to dads as well obvs).
We had many accidents as a kids, fell down stairs, touched hot hobs, fell off trees etc. Few broken bones, a couple of stitches but nothing serious. She wouldn't have let us get seriously hurt obviously.
So yeah, in my opinion there's not that much room for telling off and certainly not for being physically violent towards children. To me, it's more important to have the right kind of relationship and encourage them to make the right choices and reward them for achievements rather than telling them off for things they do 'wrong'. And when it comes to safeguarding them: yes to a point but I see people be so overprotective of their kids I feel sorry for them..

I was expecting to see something worse than that from what was being said, to be honest we were reined as children I used them on the children I parented too, I can't see a problem with them. He was being awkward walking backwards and eventually realised he was not getting what he wanted and walked properly. They keep children safe IMO.

I was beaten by my mother quite often, the only thing it did for me was make me hate my mum and lose all respect for her for not being able to deal with me in an adult intelligent manner.

I never hit either of my children, I listened when they needed and loved when they needed but wasn't a soft touch either. We now have a great relationship with no secrets or lies, my kids tell me everything and are not afraid that I will stop talking to them or get angry when they do something I don't like.

I have very strong views on whether people should 'beat' their children or not. (And isn't the UK one of the countries that has made it illegal now?)

For the life of me I do not see how you can teach anything other than 'violence' by dishing out violence. And what seems like a 'deserved slap' to a full grown adult can be a frightening clout to a small child. When do you start? When they are babies? When do you stop? When they are bigger than you?

After all the only thing I can see it demonstrates is that 'I am bigger than you therefore you will do as I say or else'.

I think far more kids that have ended up as 'wrong 'uns' have come from homes where they were beaten and/or abused than from homes where they were pampered and spoilt.

You are not allowed to physically beat or punish criminals in civilised countries - even violent criminals - why should it be allowed where small children are concerned?

I never hit mine I used to bore them into submission explaining why what they did was wrong - even now they are grown one look and it's oh no she is going to TALK to us again

However I was smacked as a child and I know it was done because my gran loved me and was just from a generation who did those things. TBH it didn't do me any harm but I am talking a smack not beating or hitting hard.