today i put her ashes in the ocean where she loved to play and then sit in my front seat of the car soaking wet. she always used to sit under the dinner table while we ate. when she was a puppy i used to get her to sit with us so i knew she wasn't chewing up something else and the habit stuck. every dinner under the table she would go and sit on my feet. tonight my feet had room under the table and it made me cry. dinner isn't the same