Night night everyone - I've just read on the BBC website that Mel Smith died today That's sad.

See all you lovely people tomorrow - sleep well.

Goodnight Jenny

TW,you and your ex?

Ah right. OK I am NOT upset over ex - I walked away from that over 2 years ago, I used to go over there a lot, but then came to the conclusion after 13 years that he was more than likely doing things with his cleaner and other things weren't floating my boat either, no ties apart from emotional ones, which weren't really there anymore.
Recent upset is Eldest Son, who has been here with me off and on for 4 years after splitting with gf. He used to come here on a Tuesday and go again on a Thursday. He disappeared suddenly at the end of April. However the reason he disappeared was because he owes thousands of pounds to various people, he also owes me thousands of pounds as well. Other things began to come to light, it got to the stage where I was dreading waking up. I think last week topped it all, but I don't know, it is like peeling an onion, you think you've finished and there's another layer just waiting to make you cry again. As I said to someone the other week, I feel so naive and stupid, can't believe I didn't realise what was going on, but there you go, I'm a fool.

Love is blind maybe. Really sorry,that most be really hard for you,as a mother especially.You don't deserve any of it

yeah, his friends are appalled about what has gone on and have said to me they can't believe what he has done to his own mother. It is like he is waging a vendetta against me and I have done him harm, all I have done is tried to help him. Like I said, I am a fool.

Don't think you're a fool, just a really good person

I try to be a decent person and treat people as I would want to be treated, but it seems in these times it is taken as a sign of weakness. So I doubt very much if I will carry on it that vein. Other stuff has happened as well which makes me realise that my values are not realistic anymore and I need to change my perceptions and stop looking for the good in everyone and trying to encourage decent behaviour.

I understand what you mean, sometimes the better you are to some people the worse you are treated.Total insult coming from someone so close

Yes it has been horrid. Am now sorting my house so it is in Joint Tenants with youngest son and it will go straight to him and that overides everything, because there is no way that there is anything of mine going to finance the sort of lifestyle he is living. By the way he went back with gf - of course - there was only me that didn't know!!! I have found some very illuminating bank statements shall we say.
Sorting all the stuff out has been very stressful, I feel like I am going through the belongings of someone that has died, but there is no body for me to grieve over.
He is certainly dead to me now