It's been a year

Since the last miscarriage - things went on so long (the loss of the twins was confirmed by scan) and didn't pass naturally so I had to go into hospital - this time last year.

It's no easier - in fact things get worse as time goes on. Worse and worse and worse and worse - life's awful, unbearable, the GP's no help - no antidepresants (which I KNOW I need) because it all stems from fertility issues and miscarriages so he knows I'm having sex (shocker) and might get pregnant (this being despite the chances being higher of winning the lottery on a triple rollover week and there being any number that are ok in pregnancy which I can't get anyway) unless I consent to having a coil fitted and grieve yet again for all hope to be lost - which would push me over the edge completely.

No fertility referral as promised when I lost all the weight I did (I lost about 3 stone - have since put it back on struggling to just exist) - because I got pregnant and miscarried... despite the fact that in the year since I think I've ovulated twice. No help to lose the weight anymore...

There are times I think they'd just be happier if I DID do the deed and topped myself. Seems to be what they're determined to push me into the corner and do.

Yet still, anyone who saw me out in the real world would think I was perfectly OK, with a quick, dark sense of humour about the absurdity of it all - and not someone failing to function and crying themselves to sleep at night.

If this is my life - stop the world I want to get off. Seriously - the only people who'd notice if I did go would be my husband and the dogs when the dog food didn't materialise at feeding time.

Don't worry - I'd never actually do it - I'm too scared of eternal damnation etc etc (Catholic schoolgirl - they did hell and eternal damnation well those nuns)... just venting I guess.

I think you need a very special, very big

I am sorry you are so down.

I lost a baby many years ago and the Dr knew I would be trying again in the future although I said I woudn't at the time.

Can you see another Dr as I was given help medically in the form of pills to help my nerves and boost me up also.


(((Hugs))) I hope you can turn a corner soon.

Dizzi, time to change your GP hun I think.
You need a lot of help, with your depression, with your infertility, with life in general.
I feel certain that there are people out there who would help you, you just need the right referrals.
Kepp your chin up, don't give up, keep banging on until someone sits up and takes notice.
Sending huge hugs xxx

So sorry you feel this way...I agree with Nippy in that you really need to change your GP.

I can't really add anything else, (as I don't have any kiddies so don't really know the emotions you are feeling), other than to send you a (((hug))), and wishes that someone, somewhere will be able to help you have the baby you so long for...the depression will take a back seat then I'm sure xx

Dizzi,

I am so sorry you are feeling sooooo down. You are probably in one of the hardest places at the moment. You need a GP who is a little more understanding of these situations. I have been on anti depressants (and so have half of the universe), for around 12 months now. They do make you feel as if you can cope with outside influences a little better.

Take good care of yourself hun. (((((big hug))))

Debbie x

hay,
im sorry ur going through it over the past year, is your dr a bloke? if it is thye just dont get it, is there a female dr you could see? or what about the practice nurse? some are really good as they can refer and prescribe ect. failing that change
ATD x

Hi, please take Nippys advice and change your gp. You obviously need counselling to help you come to terms with losing your babies. Hate to hear you so unhappy.
Please keep talking to us, or family, friends etc. Do not keep it bottled in.
Sending you lots of hugs from me and Bruce. xxx