Real nerves or becoming aggressive

Hello everyone. Its been a while since I posted anything (ooh feels like I'm starting a confession!!). Sorry this is quire a long question as I wanted to give a little background. Reuben my miniature poodle is now 2 years old. He has been a joy and was housetrained in less than a week, was socialised way before he could even go on the ground (he was carried to the pub, saw live bands in the pub, village fete, met strangers, people with hats, glasses etc) he has been to puppy training and also gun dog training and has the whistle command for the emergency stop and return. So what's the problem you ask? Well late last year he started to act like he was really nervous of me (lip licking and showing the whites of his eyes). Because he has been so good I have never even shouted at him so he shouldn't be scared of me? I do the feeding, walking and training and was advised to hand feed him his food - which is no problem. He won't mind if I try to take his food bowl from him or move his bone BUT he hates being fussed and cuddled and sometimes if I go to stroke his body he growls at me and has snarled. I confess I am getting a bit nervous of him. Yet he can be bathed and groomed by me after long muddy walks and I brush his teeth - all without a fuss. Its just at times he's all over me and at others he's nervous and semi warning. Why would this be? He is terrified of gun shots (glad pheasant shooting is over) but was ok with fireworks. My husband reached out to stroke his leg at Christmas (Reuben was laying under a foot stool) and he lashed out and caught my husbands hand. It drew blood and we were all shocked and upset - even Reuben seemed upset and, when he was allowed back in the room, was trying to lick my husbands hand. It wasn't bad just a graze but still unacceptable. He seems to love us all equally but is maybe a bit more for my husband. We understand now he hides under the footstool when he wants to be left alone. What should we do.

Leave him alone, it seems to me he's giving clear signals, he wants attention and fuss on his terms, so do I lol but seriously why fuss him and cuddle him when he doesn't want it? You might also be taking him by surprise try telling him your intentions before carrying them out.

Agree you should leave him alone and let him come to you when he is ready.

Thanks Trouble and SusieL. I do agree and I don't pick him up and cuddle him and crowd him, but he could be sat next to me on the sofa and I'll stroke his ear and then if I touch his flank he emits a low growl. There is no injury there as we can comb and groom his body. When people have asked to stroke him we say no now as he is a little nervous. There have been times he would have his face touched by strangers and then growl at them. Its just a shame as (a) he is obviously a little unhappy in these totally non threatening situations and (b) its a bit worrying. I would never tell him off for growling as he can't say "do you mind backing off - I'm not in the mood" so he has to growl to let me know but then I wonder if he has too much attitude as he should just get off the sofa without giving me backchat ! When I come in after being out he jumps around like a looney pleased to see me, then sits at me feet to be touched as I don't give him attention when he jumps so he is obedient - just a little unpredictable.

Was there no problem at all before late last year?

If not, it could well be that he needs a thorough check up by a vet. If you decide to take him, make sure you tell the vet about the change in behaviour.

Medical problems are always the first to rule in or out when changes in behaviour crop up

I would get a vet look at him too. It's possible he has an underlying health condition as what you describe doesn't seem normal to me, particularly when you take into account you seem to have done everything right in terms of how you brought him up.

Perhaps you could video the behaviour and upload it to YouTube?

Hi - I am grateful for your help with this. My adult daughter works with animals and is also a qualified dog groomer. She has recently groomed him and his body is fine. We think it could be nerves? His tail was wagging at me in the kitchen this morning but when I bent over to rub his chin he turned his head away and the whites of his eyes were showing. My daughter said don't bend over him its intimidating him so I went away and came back and squatted at his level and he was ok and tail wagging again. He sleeps at the end of the bed and stays at your feet - no calling can persuade him to lie next to you - but in the morning he has moved up and his chin is on my tummy. He wags his tail happy in the morning - but only gives you his time on his terms ? He was very aloof last night and wouldn't interact at all - staying by the front door. My husband had been away for 2 days working. When he came home last night he totally changed and was wagging his tail, jumping on the furniture and laying on his lap. Do you really think he could only be happy if we are BOTH in the house as Tony says he mopes about when I'm away ? Its just unpredictable and I don't want him feeling insecure - its not a nice way to be. A friend said she thought he was "top dog" but I feed him after we have eaten and I go through doors first etc. He seems to respect us and accepts a light scold with good grace. Do you think the plug in things that are meant to give calming pheromones (or something like that) work? I think I will search for a good dog behaviourist.

Feeding him after you have eaten and going through doors first does not denote you are 'higher'than he is, total fallacy. In fact the leader is always protected by the rest of the pack and would never go anywhere first, that is for the lower status ones to make sure it is safe, also the leader eats last not first. I feed alll my girls before myself, because it is more convenient, sometimes they go through doors first, sometimes I do, matter of what is going on at the time, and with 5 of them I am sure that there would be trouble at t'mill if they thought for one minute they could do what they wanted.
Spending time 'proving' to your dog that you are of a higher status is a total waste, if you have to prove anything by going to the trouble of proving it, then you are showing by these very actions that you are not confident of your abilities to lead

Oh thats a bit harsh ? I only meant to show that he has manners and does wait - which is why his tolerance to some situations is so different to others. I do not do it to "show" I am leader, I do it because I want a well behaved dog who doesn't rush through doors and gates as soon as he sees they are open.

I thought Tawneys post was spot on tbh, maybe you took it a bit personally. Seriously we all want well mannered well behaved dogs that follow commands when necessary. The top dog thing is a load of nonsense, top dogs are usually pretty laid back and rule in a benevolent manner. With your dog I think he's just telling you he wants to be left alone at times, he wants fuss on his terms and that's not such a bad thing.