Wow, thanks guys for all your support. Things haven't really got any better, I'm due to leave this weekend - with 5 dogs!! - to mums (she's been great but really doesn't have the room for us all!). I did seek legal advice, which terrified me initially but was quite a positive experience. She made me realise how unreasonably he had behaved during our time together (threatening to shoot himself for starters) which I was starting to try to forget about as I was more desperately worried about my future to the point I felt as though I'd stay and put up with no matter what. He's always had a major problem with me being more sociable than him, especially in the evenings and is very very jealous. I was very sociable and happy-go-lucky when we first got together, but young and naive so gave up my social life for him which destroyed my self-confidence, then I married him - was v low at the time, then a year on from that, my confidence grew, I was doing well with the dogs and he started acting ridiculously again to the point it destroyed us, he blames me for the breakdown though as I have had to lie on occasion just to meet up with girlfriends. It got to the point I was scared to go out because of his reaction but never wanted to be in because I felt so 'possessed'. Anyway now I feel totally wretched as I am the one having to leave the home that I love, being blamed for the breakdown (although I have had my suspicions confirmed he's having 'communications' with another woman, but I can't prove it) and he won't seek any proper advice himself so is denying me what I'm entitled to (none of it's enough to run a huge solicitors bill up for though). The next few weeks are going to be a complete nightmare and he's giving me a hard time for not getting gone quick enough at the same time suggesting it may be just what we need and that it's poss we may get back together one day!!!! (He has tried it on in the last week or so - you can imagine the range of emotions all this makes you feel!). I have a possible solution to my housing prob but I won't be able to go about it yet because I know exactly what he'll think to it... A friend of both of ours, (male) but more mine, has offered to put me up (& dogs). I won't take him up on it because I know how it will look. I'm fed up of looking the bad one. Thank gawd for my wonderful dogs... Sorry to rant on!

Thats the best advice shadowboxer hope she takes it been through it myself

I real feel for you, and i truly hope everything goes well for you, let us know if you can that you are settled with ya mom, it'll take time, but you'll get there. xxxxxx

Hey guys!
Well moved in with mum, I'm angry because it is chaos here with all the dogs and no kennels but I have no choice at the moment there really is no where else for me to go at the moment and he doesn't care one jot or if he is, he's not showing it (he's got a 4 bedroomed house all to himself). I left last night whilst he was out (poor dogs must have wandered what on earth was going on!) but during the day, in-between me packing, he was being very over-affectionate ( ) at the same time telling me I couldn't take this or that and that he loves me, just can't trust me (and I'm the one who's found out about him messing about) and how lonely he is going to be and that I'm the lucky one because I'll be surrounded by people (understatement of the century!!). He said he's going to really struggle without me and wishes it hadn't come to this but blames me for not trying to sort it out before so it gives me so much false hope. I've gone now and when I rang him to see if the dogs I'd had to leave behind were okay, he had a right barney at me for 'going on' at him. Feel really lost, I know that if he had said he wanted to try again we needed to have a break first anyway but right now I feel have nowhere to call home. I just hope that he will realise that we have too much to lose and he will come round, or am I wasting my time??!! Made one start, have applied for job! Just feel utterly guilty towards mum and the dogs for all the hassle and upheaval!!

So sorry. :smt052 I hope you get things sorted out. Maybe after a bit of cooling distance between you, you might be able to talk.

I'm so sorry Raccoon You seem to be caught between your head and your heart

I hope everything works out for the best, what ever route you go down. Sometimes cutting your losses is the best thing but when you love a person, it's very hard to be able to do that.

hi
glad you all got to your mums safely,,
you are in a horrible situation and i know how it feels to love someone so much you cant bear to be without them, maybe after some time apart things may work themselves out, but dont let yourself get treated like dirt hun, no matter how much you love him,
i hope everythig works out for you x x x x x