A tricky dilema

I have a dilema which has kept me awake most of the night. My boyfriend and I are very good mates with another couple (have been for around 7 years).

On the past two occasions we have seen them, I've felt that the guy has been getting a bit too close. Not obviously but quietly when we're sitting on the sofa, putting his foot on top of mine and squeezing my toes and also letting his hand slip to my leg and stroking it. The first time this happened I put it down to he'd had a bit too much to drink and decided to think nothing of it.

We all went out last night and it was as if he turned it up a bit. He actually got up close behind me when I was at the bar and was stroking my lower back and bum.

I didn't want to cause a scene so just moved away and kept my distance the rest of the night but he kept looking at me (sounds daft but it was really uncomforatble). All the while he's been doing these things its why we're sitting with our partners and I just freeze - not wanting to cause an upset and row or for them to accuse me of anything when I haven't done a thing.

I don't know what to do, I tend to be a head in the sand kind of girl when it comes to confrontation and I don't want to tell my boyfriend or his girlfriend because I don't want to cause trouble in his relationship or ruin any friendships.

What would you do? I feel dishonest not telling them but don't want to cause a scene.

Should I just keep my distance from him and hope he gets the message? I really can't believe this of him - he's probably one of the nicest guys I know, its so out of character.

Hi honey.

This is a particularly unpleasant situation for you to be in, but you must put a stop to it NOW.

Take him to one side and tell him, in plain terms, that you are NOT interested. Tell him also that if he keeps making these unwanted advances you will be telling his and your OH.

If he persists in touching you in an inappropriate manner, slap him very hard round the chops in front of everyone, and let HIM explain why you did it.

Sexual harrassment makes my blood boil - can you tell?

Good luck x

Not a nice position to be in but I think you'll have to say something soon. It doesn't sound like a one off and and you don't want it to go on. He may take your silence as encouragement. Next time I'd quietly tell him to back off because you're just not interested and it will only cause trouble if he carries on. If that doesn't do the trick you may have to say something to your partner.

I see it a bit differently from Vicki, firstly I wouldn't make a scene, last night I would have just stepped back onto his toes in my stilettos make sure I put all my weight on that foot with an oops sorry you really shouldn't stand so close.
The gf might actually know, they could be after a threesome or swinging or whatever.
Make a scene and no doubt he will turn it round to make out your the one coming on to him.
Oh and in my experience it's usually the nice guys that get away with having affairs as no one would ever think it of them, and usually believe they're the only one.
I'd try to keep my distance from him but also take action each time he did something. Spill your drink on him, tread on his toes, hit him in the nuts with your handbag all accidently of course

I'll second that! What a creep.

(daren't argue with Vicky now! )

Shirley, you're priceless!

he sounds like a right creep. id do what the others have suggested, have a word with him about it, and if he persists id slap him one and in a loud voice, say "keep your slimey hands to your self pal" then knee him in the gonads,

Thanks guys, I guess I knew what I have to do, just wanted some reassurance that its the best way to deal with it - damage limitation kind of thing.

Well it gets to the source of the problem

I was in exactly the same situation many years ago before I married my husband of 28 years, I plain and simply told the lad to back off and stop mauling me I dont like it I am not interested, he accepted this and as it happens we continued to be friends, there was no major bust up between us all it was just laid to rest.

Mo